Monday, November 23, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #650 Guns and Vegetables by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 23, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #650 Guns and Vegetables by Janet S. Tiger  Nov. 23, 2015

                                               Guns and Vegetables
                                                  (for the Senior Channel)
                                           by Janet S. Tiger 
                                     (c) 2015 all rights reserved 

         (Man enters carrying a big bowl of vegetables, he smiles at the audience)

(Very friendly) Hi there folks in Senior Channel land -  who want to be healthy!  And that means all of you, right?

Well, I have a new company designed to help you stay healthy by making sure you eat .....all your vegetables!

Here, see these delicious vegies?

          (Holds up one)

Many of you eat them, but some of you...(becomes more ominous)...some of you do not. (Sighs)  And without vegetables, how can you stay healthy and strong and able to fight off the rigors of aging?

Well, for those of you who...RESIST.....vegetables, that's where I come new company is called...Guns and Vegetables!  Simple!  And here's how it works!

I hire ex-soldiers who know how to use these guns....and I send them to your house with a BIG bag of vegetables....EVERY DAY!  And if you don't eat your vegetables, well,  that's what the guns are for!  To remind you that you don't want to be sick!  And more important... that no one wants to take care of you if you're sick!

So quick, get up and call the number on the screen right now and order your vegetable helper RIGHT NOW!

Frightened by the threats?  That's the idea!  Remember how well threats worked with your children?  Now it's their chance to even the, get on that phone right now and call the number on the screen right now and order vegetable helper for your family member RIGHT NOW!


         (Turns to leave, hears a question, stops, looks back)

For those with no teeth....the answer is simple....not you coulda, but you WILL have a V-8!

         (Throwing the veggies into the audience.....he exits to a brave new world of vegetables)
Like this monologue?  
I have a collection for seniors available now -dozens of monologues that are proven successes onstage - from Kennedy Center to Burma. Be a winner in your next audition/showcase/class.

Thanks for supporting the theater - and those who write for it!

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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