Friday, October 2, 2020

Line - a play in one act by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2020 all rights reserved

 Hoping this finds everyone reading this well and getting through the corona time safely.

This is not a monologue, but it's not too long. 

It won First Place in the 2020 Script Tease of New One-Acts and had a Zoom reading Sept 25, 2020

There are almost 2000 monologues and one- act plays on the earlier years of this blog..

For a list of the many monologues on this post, please click here

Thank you for reading!  Stay well!

                                                          Line ©   

                                            A play in one-act by Janet S. Tiger


                                          ©  Feb. 28, 2020  all rights reserved


Characters-  3 women, 30, 60 and 90 years old

Set  --  A  checkstand…time…..soon….a few years AC  - after corona

 (Two women waiting in line at a grocery store.  The older one, 60, is first in line, the younger, 30, is behind her and they have been waiting for awhile – and from the appearance of things, will be waiting more.  Perhaps we hear the words ‘price check’ over the loud speaker, or maybe the dreaded ‘Manager to checkstand  3’ and we know the wait is not getting shorter.   The younger woman is getting more and more annoyed, the older woman is calm, perhaps reading a magazine.  All have Southern accents)


30 -  Amazing!  And this is the only line!  Why don't they open another line?

60-  Because it's 5:30 pm- the busiest time of the day, and it will aggravate us more

when we have to wait!  Plus we buy more crap as we are waiting……

30 -  (Laughs)  I guess that's true… least we don’t have to wear those masks anymore like a ….was that three years ago?

60 -  Four.  That was annoying…I think I still have the mask in my purse!

(They laugh)

30 -  Looks like you have a kitchen sink in your purse!

60 – (Laughs and then starts to look in her purse) Maybe not the mask, but the hand santizer!

            (She holds it up and then looks in shock)

60 -…..…..(takes a closer look at 30)  Oh, my God, I can't believe it!  It''s me!

30 -  Do I know you?

60   -  Of course you know me - I AM you!

30  (A liitle nervous)  Okay.....(looking around)  maybe we should ask for another line

60 -  I heard them call for more checkers, but the others are on break, it is dinner time!

30 -  Oh boy....

60 -  So we're stuck together!  How amazing is this!  I never thought I'd meet 

myself ...and in line at the Piggly Wiggly!

30 -  I think you might be mixing me up with someone else...

60  - Absolutely not!  I would recognize myself anywhere!  It's when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize myself!  No, it’s me……

            (60 takes out a wallet)

60 -   Here……take a gander at this….did I say take a gander….wow, is that putting a time stamp on my butt or what?

            (30 looks and shakes her head)

30  -  Look, my name is …..    okay so we have the same first name….

60 – And this is our married name! 

30 – No it isn’t!  I’m not married, and the guy I’m going to marry….

60 – (Thinking)  The one with the long hair!

30 -  He cut it for this job, but this is not his name, and anyhow, I’m not going to take his name!

60 -  But you are going to take the name of his best friend, Jacob….

30 -  What best friend?  I know his best friend, and that guy is a jerk!

60 -  Jacob was his best friend from college….. Jacob, so good-looking!  Still is!  And smart, and

willing to wait until I figured out Mr. Long-hair was not for me!


30 – I never call him that!


60 -  Oh, yes, we did!  – And we took Jacob’s name, because Jacob is very traditional, which we

liked after Mr. Long Hair…

30 -  Stop calling him that!  (A little unsure) I don’t call him that ….anymore!

60  -  But we did!  To our friends!  And we made him cut it to get the job!  Oh, that’s a long time


30 – (A little surprised- rubs her face)

            (A much older lady now comes up behind 30)

90-  (slow, but still alert)  Is this the end of the line?

30 -  I think so.

90-  I hope you know – because if you don’t know when the end of the line is, you’ve got


30-  It is……the line stops here.

90-  Oh, my God!  (She peers at 30 and 60)  I can’t believe it!  It’s me!  I’m already in line1

60 -  No cuttsies!

   (60 and 90 laugh)

90 -  Amazing!  I thought after that corona stuff I’d seen everything, but…..this is very

different… two are…me!  Me, too – or is that three?

   (60 turns to 30 and asks)

60 -  What the hell is she talking about?

90  - You know!  We know!  We’re a very knowledgeable us!

60  - (Looking closely)  Is it possible? 

90 -  Of course it’s possible – in a line like this- anything is possible!

30 -  So, hold on, I mean,  (she turns looking at the two of them)….you are now both claiming to


60/90 (together)  You!

    (90 looks 30 up and down)

90-  Hard to believe I used to be able to fit into that size!

60 -  Did we ever appreciate what we had?

   (30 looks at 60 and 90 and shudders)

90  - yep, this is what’s coming sweetie! 

60 -  And to think I was once you!

    (She looks at 90, then takes out a mirror)

60 -  Oh, no!  I am my own mother!

90 -  Quitcher bitchen – in 15 years you’ll be begging for that face back!

60- (Sighs, then smiles)  But Jacob still loves our face!

90 – (Smiles) Of course he does – otherwise, no dinner!

(90 and 60 laugh)

30 -  (Getting more annoyed)  There is no Jacob!

60 -  But soon…..

90 -  Best friend from college!  Ha!  It was his best friend from his high school!

60  - College!  Whew!  Our memory sure is going…..(sighs)  At least it all worked out ok…..

90 -  Thank God we saved those eggs…

30 -  (Looking in baskets)  What eggs?  None of us is buying eggs!

(60 and 90 laugh)

60 -  We got a funny feeling about Mr. Long- hair, so, we go behind his back and store some of

our eggs.

90-  And it was a good, thing, because getting chemo is not good for eggs!

30 -  I’m not sick!  I am in perfect health!

60 – Now we are, but just wait…..

90 -  It’s a twist you never anticipated……

60 -  And finding out hairy-boy never wanted kids, wanted you to live with him long enough so

that you’d be too old!  That was a good kick in the ass…..

30 -  I think I’m going to find another line….

            (Looks around, takes deep breath)

60 -  This is it.

90-  There is no other line.

30  (Horrified)  Is this some kind of…..existential dream I’m having?

60 – Don’t you wish? 

30 -  It must be – I never shop at Piggly Wiggly – I don’t live in the South!  I don’t have a

Southern accent!  It must be a dream! 

(From this point on, none of them has an accent)

60 -  How do you know? 

90 -  We know – and when we wake up, we’re going to make a call to the egg bank….just wait

and see…..

30 -  Wait a minute, the line is moving……Oh, that’s better!  It’s my turn after you….

            (60 offers her a place in front)

60 -  You can have my spot, you seem to be in a hurry….

90 -  (to 60)  We always were, weren’t we? 

30  -  I guess it’s easy to hallucinate waiting in line…..

90 -  Keep telling ourselves that…..

60 -  And you just have a good day! And please remember, everything is gonna be all right!

90 – We guaran-damn-tee it!

        (The 30 year old gives them a look, sighs and smiles)

30 -  Thank you for letting me get in front, I am in a rush, got off work late ……

            (30 takes her bag of groceries as 60 starts to unload. 90 grabs at 30s arm as she goes by)

90 -   Should we tell her what happens to Jacob?

30  -  How could I possibly know what happens?  (Takes a deep breath)   No need.  We all find


            (Phone rings, 30 answers.  60 and 90 look at each other and nod)

30 -  Yeah, I’m just waiting in this hellacious line!  What?  I thought it was just us

tonight…..who?  I don’t remember you telling me about anyone named…..

            (30 looks at 60 and 90, they smile at her)

30 -    Jacob.  (Listens)  I thought his name was Jack.  Oh, he was named Jacob after his

grandfather …..who just died…so he’s choosing to be called Jacob now……I guess I

remember…..isn’t he your buddy from  high school……

90 – (to 60, triumphant) I told you it was high school

            (60 just shakes her head, then thinks)

60-  Maybe you did.

30 -  (Annoyed)  Okay, ……No, it’s no problem.  It was just tonight was…you know, us. 

But….if it’s your best friend, and he’s only here a few days……(she looks at 60 and 90)

Not tomorrow morning….. I’m going to be busy …have to check a few things

out….about eggs…yeah, the cage free kind…..


            (She keeps talking as she continues to exit with her items, while 60 and 90 watch)

60 -  I can’t believe I was ever that young!

90 -  (looking at 60)  I can’t believe I was ever as young as you!

60  (lookng at 90)  I can’t believe I will be wearing sweat pants!

90 -  I can’t believe I remembered to put them on!

            (They laugh, then 90 grabs 60’s hand.)

90 -  What the hell are we waiting in this line for?  Let’s get some ice cream!

60 -  Sounds great!  Wait a minute…I have ice cream!  And it’s melting! 

        and  chocolate sauce and whipped cream and nuts!

90 – We always did love ice cream…..

            (90 points to her teeth-)

90-  But you can have the nuts….

60 -  We  may all be a little nuts……

90 -  That’s what dreams are for…….

60-  wait a minute.... 

(She digs in her purse and pulls out a face mask, waves it as the lights start to dim – 30 has checked out and waves at them, shakes her head and exits)

90 – And we thought those were weird days!  How many years ago was that?

60 -  The corona?  That was ancient history!

90 -  No, honey, we’re ancient history!

            (60 and 90 laugh as we have blackout)


            (The end.)





Sunday, August 16, 2020

I Told You So - a play in one act by Janet S. Tiger

Hoping this finds everyone reading this well and getting through the corona time safely.

 This is the first time I've had a minute to post in a very long time-  this is not a monologue, but it's not too long.  (If anyone wants to do this as a Zoom, please let me know at

There are almost 2000 monologues and one- act plays on the earlier years of this blog..

For a list of the many monologues on this post, please click here

Thank you for reading!  Stay well!

                                                      I Told You So  © all rights reserved 2020 

                                              A play in one act by Janet S. Tiger 



                                                Based on a sadly true story      

              Note - The names of the cable services have been changed to protect the guilty




DADDY – Rachel’s father, in his 80s

RACHEL -  in her 50s, very busy


Set-  Living room, with giant space for TV, but the TV is not there, it is in a box in the middle of

the room, along with cords, wires, etc.  An older man is sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. 



(A key is heard in the door, and a woman enters, this is Rachel, and she sees the box, is shocked)



RACHEL -  (Sputtering)  Daddy, what have you done?


(She goes to the  big box marked garbage and shakes her head)


DADDY -  It’s obvious isn’t it?  It’s your fault.


RACHEL -  What?


DADDY -  You made me do it.  I can't live in the modern world anymore so I am returning to

1955.  That was a good year.  The Korean War was over, you were still a cute baby with no idea of television and I was young and able to pee without medicine!


RACHEL (Still horrified)- But….but… do you know how many hours I spent on this?


DADDY -  Too many


RACHEL - But you wanted it!  You begged me for getting rid of the cable system you had

because it was so expensive!  I tried to explain how the Internet and streaming was even more complicated, but BEGGED! And now, now....(sputtering) ...the horror!


DADDY -  Well, I don't remember asking....


RACHEL - (Triumphant)  I knew it, that's why I recorded you!


(She shows on phone, he ignores, waves his hand)


DADDY -  It's a fraud, just like all of this TV crap!    Any child can be Steven Spielberg……


 RACHEL -  But...but....LOOK!


            (She tries to show him himself and he throws up his arms)


DADDY - All right, I don't want to see any more videos of some old crazy man!


RACHEL -  It's you!   This video is of you!


DADDY -  You are the crazy one!  This is me.....


(Takes out a photo of himself when he was younger)


DADDY -   you can't fool me......oh, all of you can try....but I know the truth..


(She stands and steam starts to come out of her head)


DADDY -  You should get that checked out - I think a hose might have blown....or the

temperature thingy.....


RACHEL -  I have been working for over six months, no close to a year!  For you to be able to

switch!  And if you switch will cost more because the new company has a two year plan that you agreed to!


DADDY -  I don't remember doing must have tricked me.....


RACHEL -  If I wasn't a peaceful person, a person who meditates every damn day for thirty

minutes!  I would kill you right now!


DADDY -  Really?  Kill your sweet old lovable dad?  Not the cable company? The folks who are

literally driving you insane?


RACHEL- But I was the one who begged you to leave well enough alone!  


DADDY -  A perfect example - what does that mean?  Well enough?  I'm not well enough to do

anything except watch TV!  Look, I sold TVs!  I made a nice living with the entertainment business - radios, tvs, antennas!  Simple things!  


And when I started selling tvs they were easy!  Push a button, on they go!  Push that same button - off!  Simple!  If you liked one channel, you leave it on that channel and when you touch that button on, there is the channel you like!  SIMPLE!  At least with cable, I had that, but with this Internet crap, all they show is pictures!  And they change!  And when you push a button you have no idea what’s going to be on the set!  It’s for insane people!  I hate it!


RACHEL -  THEN WHY DID YOU BEG ME TO CHANGE IT!  (Hissing)  And you know you

did!  I explained it was not a good idea and you told me it was your money and you didn't want to waste told me......


                     (He holds up his hands)


 DADDY -  Okay....listen, and maybe you want to record this, because I am only saying this



(She aims the camera at him)


DADDY -  You were right.


(She gasps, grabs her chest and stumbles back)


DADDY -  Hope you got that because it is the only time I will ever say that.....


RACHEL  -  I know, I thought you gave me a heart attack.


DADDY -   Another cheery thought.  And with all this money I’m paying…LITERALLY

HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS! -you’d think, no commercials.  Because after all, that’s why pay TV was invented, right?  So you could pay to have NO ADS!  And yet, what do I see, nonstop!  Commercials!  For every type of medicine that doesn’t work to make you look younger!  Commercials!  For every type of lawyer to sue when the medicines don’t fix you and make you 25 again!  And for every type of physical ailment you can imagine!  My favorite so far has side effects that include….(shaking head)  gangrene of the genitals!


RACHEL – I remember when I told you people would pay for no commercials….and you said…


DADDY -  …..But they will be paying for commercials eventually….. there is no such thing as

free – there is always a price.  And now, I can say  ….I told you so……


RACHEL – And you have every right to say it because….. you were right, Daddy.


DADDY -  Are you going to record that?


RACHEL -  No.  I always admit when you are right, YOU are the one who cannot admit when I

am right about anything.


DADDY -  Well then, here’s another rightie for you……


RACHEL -  What are you talking about?


            (Hands her a stack of envelopes)



DADDY -   Remember when you suggested getting the internet TV service might mean I could

click on things by mistake.  Well…take a look…..


RACHEL -  What are these?  Oh, my God..


DADDY -  No they are not God….they are bills.  Lots of bills.  For things I apparently signed up

for on that Internet and now they are charging me lots of money – and I do not even remember doing anything..  It was probably something I clicked on…….click…click…click…


            (She is horrified all over again)


RACHEL -  Oh, my God – you are signed up for…….lots of channels, and programs and apps!  I

told you this could happen!


DADDY – Please be sure to record that so I can listen to more ‘I told you sos’  Just what I need

in my old age.


RACHEL -  So….what am I supposed to do now?  With all this….


DADDY -  I want an old TV, with no cable, no internet…..just old shows


RACHEL -  So, a VCR? 


DADDY -  Did I say VCR?  No, I want a TV from 1970 –


RACHEL -  What happened to 1955?


DADDY -  Better remotes in 1970 – but no cable, no VCRs.  Simple


RACHEL -  Great.  I’ll get us a time machine from that TV show Dr. Who….or maybe Back to

the Future?


DADDY -  I don’t care what store you get it from, that’s what I want.


            (She goes over and puts her arm around him)


RACHEL -  Okay, I’ll start looking after we go to get your coffee.  You still want to go get some

coffee, right?


DADDY -  Yes, that’s what I want.  Coffee.  Simple.  Black, no sugar.


RACHEL -  And when we come back, I’ll figure it all out.


DADDY -  You do that.  You’re good at all the details.


RACHEL -  Thank you, Daddy.  I always appreciate appreciation.


DADDY -  And when we get back there’ll plenty of time for you to set up the TV so I can watch

Everybody Loves Raymond -  that’s my favorite show.


RACHEL -  I know Daddy, you just love Raymond.


DADDY - Actually I love the food.  Now that was a show with a lot of good food!


RACHEL -  Maybe we can have dinner out…..sound good?


DADDY -  Okay, as long as we’re back in time for…


RACHEL -  Raymond…..


            (She is picking at the TV parts)


RACHEL -  I must say this is impressive – how did you get this all taken apart?


DADDY -  It was easy….that’s one thing nice about the future, no tools needed…..although if

I’d had a hammer….


RACHEL -  (Shudders)  Let’s not go there….


            (She is getting his jacket, hat, cane during the next)


DADDY -  You know what the next thing I’m gonna do?


RACHEL -  Waiting breathlessly to hear….


DADDY -  I’m gonna sue these companies!  That’s what wrong with this country today,

everybody puts up with a lot of crap and nobody knows how to sue anymore!


RACHEL -  Oh, I think there’s plenty of sewage in this country……


DADDY -  I’ll dictate the letters, and we can send them out to the TV stations…..


RACHEL -  So…. we’d better get the TV back together, right?


DADDY -  Of course we will, and by ‘we’, I mean ‘you’ ….


RACHEL -  Of course…..


            (They start to head to the door)


DADDY – By the way, what kind of play are we in now? 


RACHEL -  What are you talking about?


            (He indicates the audience)


DADDY -  I mean, this…’s not a drama, not a comedy….it doesn’t have a horse so it’s not a

Western……What do you call it?


RACHEL -  You mean, slice of life?


DADDY -  That sounds good, I could use some pie for dessert…..


            (They exit laughing, the end)