first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #473 The Eggshell Promenade by Janet S. Tiger May 31, 2015
(for Caregivers Anonymous)
(for Caregivers Anonymous)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2015 firstname.lastname@example.org
(Carly stands up and walks very deliberately towards the wheelchair, then stops. She is tall, regal, and she begins to dance very lightly while humming a waltz)
I will not get into that wheelchair! I want to dance! I want to dance to the eggshell promenade!
(The others laugh as she stops dancing so nicely and starts to tiptoe)
There....I have to be careful not to offend my mother-in-law! She was once very thin, many years ago in her youth, but time - and chicken McNuggets - have caught up with her and she is pushing 250 pounds! And no one can talk about it....it's kind of like.....the elephant in the room......
(She pirouettes and tiptoes around the others)
And then there's my daughter, who is married to a man who has been in prison for three years.....I have to be careful not to make any remarks about incarceration.....or petty theft.....or the fact he will be getting out soon on parole and it appears he made a pen pal girlfriend while in the joint......
(She whirls and stops, sitting in the wheelchair)
Must not forget the neighbors, who are always asking about Johnny, and when I will be putting him in a home, just because he knocks on their doors at two in the morning when I forget to put the locks on tight....(Deep sigh) You know, this is the only place where I can say whatever I want....and no one stops me, no one argues that I shouldn't feel the way I do, that I should be (disgusted) grateful! that things aren't worse! And I have to sit and listen because.....I am grateful....I do care about all these people....and....I depend on them to help me.
(She now wheels the chair in a circle)
Wheeeeee! I'll betcha this would be lots of fun on those eggshells I've been walking on! That's my fantasy you know, to win the lotto, get a fulltime for Johnny, and then tell everyone off! I feel like that girl in that show about the professor who teaches her how to talk....what was the name of that....
(The others call out and she nods)
That's it! My Fair Lady! I'd keep all the words about a room somewhere with lots of chocolates.....only I have a different bunch of words.....in my song, there'd be -No one's head resting on my knee or anywhere else! I'd be all by myself......and I sure wouldn't let spring creep over the windowsill either, who does she think she is this Spring person, trying to get into my nice quiet room!
My friends tell me I'd get lonely, but I would like to find that out for myself!
So, forget about my ship coming in....with my luck when it does, I'll be picking up my mother-in-law at the airport .....no, when those numbers come up.....I look forward to doing this with all my eggshell people.....
(She gets up from the wheelchair and whirls around - finishing with a big jump as the others cheer. Blackout)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8