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Monologue Mania Day #448 by Janet S. Tiger May 6, 2015
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved firstname.lastname@example.org
(The man smoking a cigarette is nonchalant, very laid back, yet there is a strange undercurrent of urgency)
I don't care what they tell me about cigarettes, I love 'em.
(Blows out a circle of smoke)
A lot of fun......You used to smoke, I remember, when we were kids. But you quit. Bad for your health. So they say. But you only live once. Want one?
(Holds out a pack, it's refused)
So, I can see you still haven't made up your mind. I'm not gonna push. I don't have to......Now, I know you and your family have a had bad year. Everyone knows. Everyone'll understand if you.....decide to accept my offer.
(He takes a deep puff)
I told ya, ya don't have a lot of time left for this decision.
It takes me about five minutes, maybe six, to finish a cigarette. I'm halfway through now, and the first ash just fell.
Funny how, in your life, it all boils down to a few ashes.
If you decide to accept my generous offer, your building and all the contents in it, of course, will be up in smoke by the end of the week. Completely gone. On a Sunday night, when no one is around. And... of course, you will be far away, with a wonderful alibi. Naturally, the insurance company professional investigator......you remember him, Johnny Callaway...in seventh grade, .the guy who would sell you cigarettes and rubbers .....and anything else you needed.....he's the one who will determine that a faulty electrical switch was the cause of the problem, and the check will be written to you within 3-4 weeks. You can hold out that long, can't you? If you can't, we can always advance you something.....with some interest of course....
(Another puff, smiling)
Decisions, decisions. Now, please understand.....this opportunity will not be available beyond this moment in time - you see, if you say 'no', which I doubt you will but..... just if, we go to the next person who needs help. But I'm sure you can see why....... we can't have too many fires in this neighborhood, so.....I repeat, you have to choose now.
It's kind of like.....(thinks)...a once-in-a-lifetime offer. The chance to fix all your problems. No one gets hurt. The insurance company has plenty of money! And your family is out of trouble.....
Tick tock.......what's your choice?
(He drops the last ash, squashes out the cigarette with his heel)
I knew it......there's something about that old saying.....where there's smoke.......let's go, we can work out some of the details....
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Want a cigarette?
(He smiles, hands over the pack)
(He exits. End of scene)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8