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Monologue Mania Day #460 M.T. (re-run with extras) by Janet S. Tiger May 18, 2015
Below is the monologue that was written exactly one year ago- but today I put it up with notes about where it came from following the monologue. I think today I would call this
THE CHILDREN OF PROCRASTINATION! Read on and see why.......
Monologue Mania Day #95 by Janet S. Tiger M T c) May 18, 2014
M T
by Janet S. Tiger c) May 18, 2014
all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A writer comes out onstage - the actor can represent this anyway they like. Waves arms around.)
(Loud and slowly) M...... T...... Two letters.....
That's what it feels like when there is nothing there. M T. Empty.
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Void. Zero. Blank. Totally. Containing nothing - not filled or occupied.
That is my brain, how it feels right now. I have a deadline.
But I can't write - because there is nothing there.
I love to procrastinate. My children are the children of procrastination.
I was given an advance for a novel to turn in on a certain date six months away. I waited. I had nothing.
Well, maybe less than nothing, as worry is something but it subtracts from your nothing so you have a negative sensation.
The week before everything was due, I got the idea, and started outlining. It was gonna be down to the wire.
Three days before it was due - I get a call from a friend - they had someone crap out on them at the last minute, could I come to New York to do an emergency re-write -and I would have to be there....tomorrow.
Lotsa money. Big lots of money. More than ten novels - but I had given my word, and worse.....I had spent every penny of the advance.
Except for the last pennies which I was using to buy coffee to get through the next days.
But they were depending on my turning in the novel -presses were waiting, publicity tours had been booked. It was..... a commitment, I had promised, and to take the other opportunity would have meant breaking my word.
So I refused the lots of money - some element of my soul had some element of honor. Boy is honor expensive!
Yet I have no regrets - because when I turned in the novel, the assistant to the editor ended up ......becoming my spouse.... and we have four kids- - and the youngest just graduated from college and told me something that made me a bit proud. He said that I had taught him well - that honor is important, and not everyone knows it, but he and his siblings did, and he thanked me.
My children of procrastination. I love them and I would not have changed one second of my life that brought them to me.
Do I procrastinate still? What do you think? This was due today!
(The writer walks offstage, smiling, looks at watch, turns back)
But it's still today!
(Exits, still today)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning - below is some non-monologue stuff from my life, that I am writing so that I do not forget it. (Not that I ever forget anything, well sometimes.....a tiny bit here and there......)
M T
by Janet S. Tiger c) May 18, 2014
all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A writer comes out onstage - the actor can represent this anyway they like. Waves arms around.)
(Loud and slowly) M...... T...... Two letters.....
That's what it feels like when there is nothing there. M T. Empty.
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Void. Zero. Blank. Totally. Containing nothing - not filled or occupied.
That is my brain, how it feels right now. I have a deadline.
But I can't write - because there is nothing there.
I love to procrastinate. My children are the children of procrastination.
I was given an advance for a novel to turn in on a certain date six months away. I waited. I had nothing.
Well, maybe less than nothing, as worry is something but it subtracts from your nothing so you have a negative sensation.
The week before everything was due, I got the idea, and started outlining. It was gonna be down to the wire.
Three days before it was due - I get a call from a friend - they had someone crap out on them at the last minute, could I come to New York to do an emergency re-write -and I would have to be there....tomorrow.
Lotsa money. Big lots of money. More than ten novels - but I had given my word, and worse.....I had spent every penny of the advance.
Except for the last pennies which I was using to buy coffee to get through the next days.
But they were depending on my turning in the novel -presses were waiting, publicity tours had been booked. It was..... a commitment, I had promised, and to take the other opportunity would have meant breaking my word.
So I refused the lots of money - some element of my soul had some element of honor. Boy is honor expensive!
Yet I have no regrets - because when I turned in the novel, the assistant to the editor ended up ......becoming my spouse.... and we have four kids- - and the youngest just graduated from college and told me something that made me a bit proud. He said that I had taught him well - that honor is important, and not everyone knows it, but he and his siblings did, and he thanked me.
My children of procrastination. I love them and I would not have changed one second of my life that brought them to me.
Do I procrastinate still? What do you think? This was due today!
(The writer walks offstage, smiling, looks at watch, turns back)
But it's still today!
(Exits, still today)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning - below is some non-monologue stuff from my life, that I am writing so that I do not forget it. (Not that I ever forget anything, well sometimes.....a tiny bit here and there......)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
So why would I change the name of this to be THE CHILDREN OF PROCRASTINATION? Because it is based on my life 30 years before. I had been commissioned by Kit Goldman to write a play for her Gaslamp Quarter Theatre - and the first reading was on a Monday night. On Thursday before that Monday I had exactly zero pages completed. A lot of ideas, but nothing finalized.
The play was scheduled for November, and I was sweating a bit, and then, on that Thursday, I got a call from a big producer in Hollywood (he had done Mission Impossible, Hawaii 5-O) to be the script editor on the Mike Hammer show. Nice money. A big jump for me. All I had to do was ....be there on Monday morning, ready to work.
I told him what was happening, and how I felt a deep obligation to turn in the play(partly because of honor - partly because I had already spent the money from the advance), and could he wait a few days? You know how Hollywood works - I had to give him a definite yes or no.....by the next morning.
I was in a quandary - do I keep my word? Or go for the gold? I went to sleep, hoping the answer would be there in the morning. And it was. I had a dream....too long to go into here, but it was clear there really was no choice. My honor made me tell the producer (Stan Kallis, a truly fine man) that I had to stay the course to write the play, and he told me he knew my answer when he'd spoken to me the night before.......and he wished me good luck.
Having done a great deal of research for the play, which was about Belva Lockwood, the first woman to run for President and actually receive votes - and electoral college votes, I was able to bring in the draft for the reading on Monday night - and it was produced with only minimal changes (THE THIRD PARTY -which was nominated for Best New Play of 1984 by the SD Theater Critics).
Had I not procrastinated, had I finished the play early, I could have told Stan 'no problem, see you Monday' and left the script to be produced without me. But because I stayed in San Diego, my life was different. In February of 1985, I met my future husband, and we have two wonderful children, and I have absolutely no regrets about turning down that offer - or anything else since.
And that is why I call my children, THE CHILDREN OF PROCRASTINATION.
My life is much busier now - I have no real time to procrastinate on taking care of my Dad (91 last week!) or my fighting back from stroke husband (65 this week!)
So, maybe I will re-write this one day and stay closer to the true story. Or maybe not.
(And this is where I always put in - 'turns to leave, stops, looks back')
But one thing will probably remain constant - I still do and probably always will - procrastinate! It is now 11:59 p.m. - thanks for staying with all these crazy monologues.......and for all the great comments. Good night!
So why would I change the name of this to be THE CHILDREN OF PROCRASTINATION? Because it is based on my life 30 years before. I had been commissioned by Kit Goldman to write a play for her Gaslamp Quarter Theatre - and the first reading was on a Monday night. On Thursday before that Monday I had exactly zero pages completed. A lot of ideas, but nothing finalized.
The play was scheduled for November, and I was sweating a bit, and then, on that Thursday, I got a call from a big producer in Hollywood (he had done Mission Impossible, Hawaii 5-O) to be the script editor on the Mike Hammer show. Nice money. A big jump for me. All I had to do was ....be there on Monday morning, ready to work.
I told him what was happening, and how I felt a deep obligation to turn in the play(partly because of honor - partly because I had already spent the money from the advance), and could he wait a few days? You know how Hollywood works - I had to give him a definite yes or no.....by the next morning.
I was in a quandary - do I keep my word? Or go for the gold? I went to sleep, hoping the answer would be there in the morning. And it was. I had a dream....too long to go into here, but it was clear there really was no choice. My honor made me tell the producer (Stan Kallis, a truly fine man) that I had to stay the course to write the play, and he told me he knew my answer when he'd spoken to me the night before.......and he wished me good luck.
Having done a great deal of research for the play, which was about Belva Lockwood, the first woman to run for President and actually receive votes - and electoral college votes, I was able to bring in the draft for the reading on Monday night - and it was produced with only minimal changes (THE THIRD PARTY -which was nominated for Best New Play of 1984 by the SD Theater Critics).
Had I not procrastinated, had I finished the play early, I could have told Stan 'no problem, see you Monday' and left the script to be produced without me. But because I stayed in San Diego, my life was different. In February of 1985, I met my future husband, and we have two wonderful children, and I have absolutely no regrets about turning down that offer - or anything else since.
And that is why I call my children, THE CHILDREN OF PROCRASTINATION.
My life is much busier now - I have no real time to procrastinate on taking care of my Dad (91 last week!) or my fighting back from stroke husband (65 this week!)
So, maybe I will re-write this one day and stay closer to the true story. Or maybe not.
(And this is where I always put in - 'turns to leave, stops, looks back')
But one thing will probably remain constant - I still do and probably always will - procrastinate! It is now 11:59 p.m. - thanks for staying with all these crazy monologues.......and for all the great comments. Good night!
------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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