Thursday, May 21, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #463 Blurbs by Janet S. Tiger May 21, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #463 Blurbs  by Janet S. Tiger  May 21, 2015
                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                             

               (The man who comes out is in his fifties, carrying a pencil and small pad.  He is distracted, but looks up when he sees the audience.)

Sorry, I forgot about this, hold on a minute.

              (He puts the pad and pencil carefully into a pocket)

There, I have to put things away or else I can never find them again.  I tried using my phone for putting down the rough draft on the blurbs, but, I guess, old habits die hard.  I grew up with pencil and paper, I don't need a battery for them!

Anyhow, I appreciate how you sent me a list of questions for the alumni review.....and I appreciate that this is still done in person.  I find the Internet a little bit....well, impersonal.

As for how I do these blurbs, it isn't difficult, after all these years.....they are basically the same.

"Eleanora Barnhard was born in the town of So-and-So, Iowa, in December of 1938.  Her parents, Edgar and Thomasina, were barely able to eke out a living during the Depression, so they moved the family - including Ell's 16 brothers and sisters....listed below in alphabetical La Quinta, where Edgar opened a welding shop and made a fortune during World War II and after.  Ellen married so and so and she had so many children and they loved her because she made delicious apple pie.  She will be missed by her living siblings- list below - and her umpteen grandchildren and a little less than umpteen great-grandchildren.  And if she did anything vaguely interesting, that's here, too.

About ten a day, six days a week.  50 weeks out of the year.  On my vacation, my editor does them.
Thirty years, you do the math.  A lot of dead folks, a lot of blurbs.  Obits.  Whatever you want to call them.  I call them blurbs because obit is a bit about a dead person.  A blurb is like a summary.....of a life.  The family sends in something, it's my job to make it make sense.


How did I get into this business, ......(stops to think)......I guess I gravitated toward family things because..... I was adopted, and, even though I loved my parents, the wonderful folks who raised me.....I always wondered about my birth mother.

And then, it must've been about two months ago, I go to the doctor, and he asks me family history.  He says, that as I ....age.......the ghosts will start to haunt me......well, his actual words were that 'in the course of time, genetic influences can affect your decisions about health care'

In other words, if I had a chance of dropping dead from a heart attack, or if there was cancer riddling my genes.

I didn't know - how could I?  So my wife took it upon herself to begin her favorite hobby -nagging
me until I cave in.  And cave I did.  I started looking for my mother.

And......about two days into the search, I found her.

         (He is affected by this)

She had been raped and had given me up for adoption, but had left her information, in case I ever wanted to find her.  She had never married, no other children. She had worked her whole life, and then she died.  She had actively searched for me for years and years.  And ....two days before I found her......she died.

         (He hangs his head)

She never knew she had grandchildren.  She never knew....

        (He turns to exit, stops, looks back)

At least, I got to write her blurb......bye, Mom......

        (He leaves, the end of this part of the story)

Based on a true story - thank you Phyllis.  And Happy Birthday to your brother, my hubby, Stan!

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

That was an unexpected twist. Very touching.