Sunday, December 30, 2018

Monologue Mania Days # 1772, 1773 Happy New Year! (part two) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30, 31, 2018

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
Today is Day # 1765-69 To look at the other titles - click here
  first   year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016  fourth year Feb. 14, 2017 Feb. 13, 2018  - now in year five - Feb. 14 - today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site on Facebook, Google - with friends.  Wishing you much success!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Days # 1772, 1773,Happy New Year! (part two) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30, 31, 2018

These monologues will be part of my upcoming collection of Holiday Monologues.


The monologues below - and the two posted yesterday - all deal with the New Year - and I am reposting them and wishing all a wonderful, Happy, Healthy New Year!  Thank you for reading and sharing!

      For the end of this year....wishing everyone a wonderful New Year!                                


                                                Where it Goes
                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                                       tigerteam1@gmail.com 


            (Onstage drifts the actor, in no apparent rush, smiling, without a care in the world)

Hello, I am so happy to see you!  I love being me!  I have the best job in the world!  What do you mean, you don't understand where you are?

You asked for it, with your incessant questions, your constant complaints, I'm surprised you have questions!  I'll give you a clue........see over there.....

            (Points into the distance)

That is the valley of wasted......and over there is very misty......misty water colored memories of course!

           (Lifts a bottle from a pocket)

And of course, this is the bottle......where some is kept.

          (Smiles and hums a bit of  'If I could keep time in a bottle' then waltzes  to another side of the stage)

Ooh, the beautiful clothing over there is .......all in a timely fashion......

      (Head falls, sighs deeply)

But beyond is the graveyard......where it has been killed....and just past that, wounds that have healed...or is it......the wounded heels!  

Guessed yet?

Yes, you have come to the land of WhereTimeGoes.......you asked for it, you got it!

That's why I am in no rush - ever!  Because there is always plenty of time here, because this is where time goes....after it has been wasted, and killed, and lost and misspent....piles and piles of it here....the sands of time......and I, you may have figured out.... I am the timekeeper....

          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And, of course my favorite....time flies like an arrow......fruit flies like a banana!

           (Skips offstage leisurely......where did the time go from this last year?)
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First posted Day # 1416  Where it Goes by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30 , 2015   

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                           End of Year Memories 

                                     by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

        (An older man enters, holding a 3-oz paper cup, staring at it in awe)

(Over the top Shakespeare-ish)  Alas, poor cuppy, I drank from him well!

        (He takes the cup as if to crush it, then stops)

Why am I holding this silly little useless cup?  I mean, it wasn't useless when I used it to rinse my mouth out a few minutes ago, but now, it is merely detritus.....which is to be distinguished from mere garbage by the way.....and, as it is no longer sanitary, and it is all wilted from the water, by rights I should be discarding it.....my wife has told me...often!....that I need to discard it.

She has told me when I forget to do so.....and sometimes, even when I remember, she reminds me of the...according to her...THOUSANDS ...of times that I have...forgotten.

That is what makes this innocuous little cup so formidable.  For, when I do forget, which happens...even more as I age and have a legitimate reason to forget.....when I forget, she reminds me....because this cup represents not just this cup....but ALL the things I have forgotten.

It is a ...what's the word... a SYMBOL...of my many and varied mistakes over our 42 years of marriage.  Depending on how irritated she is....we could go back as far as our wedding, where I insulted her cousin Wilma by not dancing with her.....even though the hairs on Wilma's chin were longer than my beard......no matter....still remembered!

And let's not forget the horror of our 25th wedding anniversary, where she had hinted for weeks, no, make that months as the story grows over the years, like a tree of Missed Knowledge.....she had hinted that she wanted this special pearl necklace where the pearls were etched in a BRAND NEW method to say 25 years if you looked at them just so in the right light......but I....I was foolish, and missed these hints, only responding to the fact that our refrigerator broke the day before our anniversary, and I bought a new one and had in installed with a bow on it!

I still don't know why she was so mad......but she has spent the last 17 years trying to explain it! As I'm sure all the women in this audience will be trying to do to their spouses......

And let's not forget the ongoing issue of the cup itself......I take a sip, and I am supposed to put the used utensil into the garbage pail about three feet away. (Smiling)  Sometimes I do....and sometimes......ooh, sometimes....I do not....and sometimes she throws it out without saying a word.  That's when things are calm on the ocean, when we are laughing and having fun.....but the other times...oh, that's when I see the clouds in the distance, scudding across the sky.....ready to dump their wrath on me!

And so....I make the grievous error of......

        (He puts the cup down as if on a counter)


.....not discarding!  And then......the clouds burst!

I am entreated to every memory of my forgetfulness!  This is the end of the year, and all the stations do their.....'big events of the past 12 months' well, my wife does 42 YEARS of memories ......of my mistakes!  I have no worry about her mind slipping because I doubt if any one transgression has been forgotten!  Me, on the other hand, I can't remember any of them until she reminds me.....because, to me, they were never that important!  And when I tell her that, it is as if - in the midst of the hurricane - she stops to develop a tornado!

I wait until the winds have whipped into a fury, and then.....then I tell her she's always most beautiful when she's angry, and, just like that day 42 years ago, during our first big fight after being married, she stops, and starts to smile, and then she laughs, and the storm is instantly over, and the sun comes through.

          (He holds the cup high)

To discard, or not to discard....aye, there's the question......

         (He turns to leave, stops, looks back, listens,)

Why not just throw it out now?  Now what would be the fun in that!

         (He exits, still contemplating the cup and smiling....to another year of memories - wishing everyone a Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year!)
------------------------------------

First posted  Day # 687 End of Year Memories  by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 30, 2015 I think.....it's possible after so many years, I may be getting a teensy, tiny bit confuddled...or is that befused?
-------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8



Monologue Mania Days # 1770, 1771, Happy New Year! (part one) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 28, 29, 2018

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
Today is Day # 1770-1772 To look at the other titles - click here
  first   year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016  fourth year Feb. 14, 2017 Feb. 13, 2018  - now in year five - Feb. 14 - today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site on Facebook, Google - with friends.  Wishing you much success!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Days # 1770, 1771,Happy New Year! (part one) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 28, 29, 2018

The monologues below - and the two posting tomorrow - all deal with the New Year - and I am reposting them and wishing all a wonderful, Happy, Healthy New Year!  Thank you for reading and sharing!



                               What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
                                             (for The Senior Channel)
                                       ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com


            (The actor enters, carrying a bag, which is placed on the floor.)

Ladies and gentlemen of the Senior Channel.  As we approach the New Year, I am reminded of all the people who have spoken here, about all the problems of the world.  I believe, if I remember correctly, that they call these ......issues.  I call them complaints, and in the case of some of the speakers, more like rants.

Well, I seek to discourage the future of these rants...um, complaints....so we can all focus on the important issue of peace......How will we attempt to do this?  I have prepared a preemptive list of  the things that can go wrong, so that, in the upcoming year, no one else will have any need to repeat these,

Here it is......

           (Opens the bag, removes a large scroll and opens it, it falls onto the ground and keeps rolling- it is long.)

I will start with the obvious things, on the human body, there are no end to how our billions of cells can get sick, but I have broken them into distinct categories according to accidents, aging and ......what the hell happened here?

             (Picks a second scroll out of the bag, opens it, it, too unrolls a great distance)

Next I have the category of mechanical items that can go wrong - including but not limited to.....automobiles, cars, toasters,. of course, computers and cell phones, and unfortunately, toothbrushes.......

              (Takes the bag and holds it up, showing many more scrolls)

As you can see, this will take some time..  Kind of like the Jerry Lewis Marathon, but without the singing and dancing.  That's why I am here early....so we will all have time to consider these issues, apply the appropriate level of worry, and still have time to get ready for the New Year's party.

              (Removes glasses from pocket, wipes them, puts on nose, starts to read from one of the scrolls, stops)

Oh, I did have a summarized version of this....would anyone care to hear the shortened version?

             (Listens)

Very well.....

             (Removes an envelope from pocket, opens with a flourish to remove a folded paper.  Opens the paper, removes .......an index card..... then reads)

What could possibly go wrong?

             (Turns the card over)

Everything.

             (Puts the card into pocket, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Now, with all that worry off your plate, have a wonderful New Year!

             (Exits, blowing a paper horn thingy from the upcoming New Year's party.  Happy New Year!)

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First posted - Day #315 by Janet S. Tiger What Could Possibly Go Wrong?   Dec. 24, 2014 

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          For those counting, only 43 days left to this year of monologues!
                             Countdown
                                      ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (The actor enters, dressed for the New Year, doing somersaults varied with cartwheels.  Stops right in the middle of the stage.  Smiles.)

Ten.....

            (Removes shoes and socks.  Turns another somersault)

Nine.  What a great year!

             (Cartwheel, then takes off jacket. )

Eight, seven six.....

             (Does three somersaults, takes off shirt)

Five, four, three......

             (Starts to do a cartwheel, removes pants, stops, now only in underwear)

Maybe I don't want the ball to drop this year.....maybe....I don't want to see it end.....

             (Does a half-hearted cartwheel)

Two......

              (Deep sigh, sits heavily)

Where do the years go?  I mean, just a minute ago, I was turning cartwheels, and now.....

              (Tries to stand, can't)

One........

              (Turns to leave, looks back over shoulder, smiles, starts crawling like a baby, giggling, happy, removes a New Year's blower thingy and starts blowing it)

Happy New Year!

              (Exits......still blowing......and so does 2014.  May the New Year be a Happy, Healthy Year for all!)

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First posted Day# 322  by Janet S. Tiger Countdown Dec. 31, 2014
-------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Monologue Mania Days # 1765-1766-1767 -1768-1769 Sweepstakes (one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 2018

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
Today is Day # 1765-69 To look at the other titles - click here
  first   year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016  fourth year Feb. 14, 2017 Feb. 13, 2018  - now in year five - Feb. 14 - today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site on Facebook, Google - with friends.  Wishing you much success!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Days #  1765-1766-1767 -1768-1769  Sweepstakes (one-act)  by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27,  2018

A few notes from the writer -

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season.

Why am I counting this play as five nights?  This is actually a play that I wrote over 30 years ago, but I am changing the two lead characters from two men to two women.   It actually has become a completely different play because this involved a lot more than just changing the character's names - it has caused me to deal with the structure of the entire play - and the dialogue - and it has taken more than a few days!  Due to the time constraints of my caregiving, I find that I can no longer write a monologue every day when I am also writing another play - such is the reality of aging.  But once I finish the re-writes, I will return to monologues.

Thank you for reading - and commenting - and sharing!

                                     Sweepstakes
                                            by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2018
                                                tigerteam1@gmail.com

This play will be read with LET ME FINISH, PLEASE! at Scripteasers on Jan. 18, 2019  If you'd like to come to the reading, it will be at  the Dunn-Rankin Gallery, 7:30pm, 3404 Hawk St., San Diego, CA .

This is an alert - this play contains rough language and topics.

To read the entire play, please click here
or, if it is too difficult to read (because I am not good at website stuff, and this blog will not allow 26 pages! - please email me at tigerteam1@gmail.com and I will send you a file with the play!)  Thank you for understanding!

-------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, December 21, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1762-1763 -1764 The Shortest (for The Winter Solstice) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 20, 21, 22, 2018

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

Today is Day # 1762-3-4 To look at the other  titles - click here

  first   year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015   - now in year five - Feb. 14 - today!     
            
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site on Facebook, Google - with friends.  Wishing you much success!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #  1762-1763 -1764 The Shortest by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 20, 21, 22, 2018

Because the 21st is the shortest day of the year, from the archives, three monologues about the shortest - Soul Sticks, then The Shortest Monologue, and below that - The Shortest Day, Longest Night.      Happy Winter Solstice!

                                              Soul Sticks 
                                            (in honor of the Winter Solstice)
                                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com


          (The actor is.....any age, as long as they can bounce a ball)


I was little when I first heard about something very frightening....it was scarier than anything at Halloween, because I had just learned about my eternal soul in Sunday school....and suddenly there was the (shudders)..... soul sticks........would damnation be involved with my soul?  How would it beat me with the sticks?

         (Runs and crouches down at the edge of the stage)

My father found me hiding before church one day, and when he figured out what was going on, that I had misheard the word...Solstice....to his credit, he didn't laugh, he even said he thought it was a great idea!

And then.....he sat down and explained what the summer and winter solstices were.....and I was intrigued.....here were amazing things happening in the sky and I had no idea!  But it was confusing....and my father could see it in my eyes.....so he looked around the closet where I had thought no one could find me and found a ball, the kind that bounced really well.

'Comere.....' and we went outside and he took the ball and dropped it on the ground....

         (Illustrates with a ball)

..'watch it'  and I watched as it bounced, then went up, then slowed and fell, repeating this until it stopped....

My father explained.....(as father) 'The way it works is that the ball is falling.....like the days getting shorter.....and then it hits the ground and at that very moment, it is neither dropping nor going up.  That is just like the solstice.....in the winter, the days are getting shorter until.....it stops, and the days get longer......in the summer is the reverse, days get longer, then it stops, and they start to get shorter.

Right at the moment when it switches, at that exact second....it is still...but it is so fast that no one could ever see it......like the days......

And it's the same with everything....even your soul.....your soul can be having the worst time....in darkness that seems to get deeper every day.....you look out and just when you think that things will never improve, there will never be hope again, your soul hits the bottom.....and for a moment it sticks, but it's so fast, like the ball, like the days.....that you barely can tell things have changed for weeks, because the change is so small, every day, that you think nothing happened....but it did....and one day you look around and you see the sun is out, and you smile and you realize things are better......and they keep getting better, and there's more sun and more light.....like when you meet someone you love, and there's more love and more light, and then you have a baby ....and that light shines like the middle of the summer in the north....for almost the whole day.....but it never lasts......the sun never lasts, and the dark never lasts....

And if you can remember that.....each day is blessed.  Because your soul knows to enjoy the sun, and not to fear the dark.....

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And that's why I still love these days where the ball bounces.....where the .....soul sticks......

          (Bounces the ball while exiting.  Welcome back, sun!)


--------------------------------------------

first posted - Day # 678 by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 21, 2015

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                                      The Shortest Monologue
                                                by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
  

        (Actor comes onstage furtively.  Puts on raincoat, faces crowd in a worried manner)

The shortest monologue......okay, this is a trick one-  the shortest monologue.....has never been written!


       (Actor runs offstage quickly, the raincoat is for protection against the audience throwing tomatoes!)
-------------------------------

This is for those who complain about the longer monologues - you know who you are!

----------------------------------------

First posted -  Day #1023 The Shortest Monologue (c) Dec. 1, 2016

---------------------------------

This is some  background on two characters from the play CAREGIVERS ANONYMOUS

                                          Shortest Day, Longest Night
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2016
                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com 


         (Jeannie, the group leader, is finishing closing up, when she suddenly stops and sits down, taking a deep breath.  As she sits, Franklin enters, sees her and goes over, putting a hand on her shoulder) 
FRANKLIN -  When you didn't come right out, I knew something was wrong.....

         (She waves a hand, unable to speak)

FRANKLIN -  It's okay, I understand.....

JEANNIE -  (Slowly)  It's so funny.....it's....not the first year anniversary, it's the second.....

         (Franklin nods)

JEANNIE -  The first year, I couldn't do anything.  It was.....almost like reliving it......

FRANKLIN -  Not having been through this, I can't say I understand completely, but.....it can't be easy.....

JEANNIE -  Dec. 21st....the shortest day of the year......is also, the longest night.....when Adam died, he had to pick a day I couldn't forget, could he?  That was just the way he was.....he proposed on Valentine's Day, and we got married on the first day of summer......but when he...when he died.....he said......(hard for her)  every day will be better than this one.......as if.....he planned it!  (Laughs)  Planned it!

FRANKLIN -  The things we remember...the things we forget.....it is funny in a way.....

JEANNIE -  We're laughing all the way......

FRANKLIN -  I thought I'd never forget the first time Margie forgot who I was.....but.....I did.  Maybe it happens so much, I don't know.....I'm sorry about my little ditty tonight.....I hope it didn't hurt too much...

JEANNIE -  Don't be silly, my friend!  I love those songs!  I think they're one of my favorite parts of this group!

FRANKLIN -  If I'd known it was an anniversary.....

JEANNIE -  Can you believe it....until just know, I didn't even connect......the first year, every single event, birthday, Christmas, anniversary of when we met.....each one was like a relived moment of intense pain, but this second year, I don't know....it's more distant, like he went to visit his brother and just hasn't come home yet......it's not that I forgot....it's more that.....it wasn't as important.....Oh, I don't know if I meant that......

FRANKLIN -  Don't worry.....I'll keep your secret......

JEANNIE -  I didn't even say anything tonight.......

FRANKLIN -  Too busy helping the others.....

JEANNIE - Keeping busy helps me more.....

FRANKLIN -  For some reason, you never seemed to be the type of person who needed to try to keep busy.....

JEANNIE -  The first few days, even when you expect it, they're in a blur......I cannot even remember them.  It's like when you're sick and you look back and the days are all in a jumble.....then there's all the aftermath.  The funeral, the details.....and, then, you're alone, for the first time in my life, living alone.  I got married at 21, and my kids are all grown....have their own families......I'd retired to take care of Adam, so it was like, I'd lost him, and my job.....what was I?  I think this group helped me get through that......busy is good......good and busy.....now I don't cry as much, but.....tonight, on the longest night...somehow......it's....longer.....

          (He sits with her as the lights go down)
--------------------------------


First posted Day #1042 Longest Night (c) Dec. 20, 2016

----------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8