Thursday, August 31, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1295 Fireworks (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 31, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1295 Fireworks (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 31, 2017                 

                                                   Fireworks
                                           (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved     
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                          

       (Actor stands, looking down, shuffling to the wheelchair, then slumping in it)

It was just one of those days....

You know what I'm talking about.....

       (The others chime in, they all know!)

Up early, nothing went right.  The water had been shut off on our block, so breakfast and showering were....interesting.......and then we were scheduled for a doctor's appointment for the monthly check on how the new meds are working, important enough not to miss, and the car won't start because the lights stayed on because yesterday when I was looking for something I turned on the dome light, and then I forgot to shut it off, and the automatic shut off is.....go ahead, guess!

        (The others shout - 'Broken!)

Amazing! you guessed!  Surprisingly enough, t was broken......so I get my neighbor to jump start us, or at least jump start the car.....we get to the doctor's office five minutes late, and it turns out......there was an.......

        (The others chime in -  EMERGENCY)

Appointment now has to be rescheduled, and since I can't figure out Google Home, and I forgot the appointment book because of the car not starting, so I have to call the doctor's office when I get home, and it's not that important, just ANNOYING as hell, and the rest of the day is just as bad....
and then......I walk out the door to go to the car because I left the bag of meds in the car....and....

         (Catches breath, stares up in awe)

It was like......the most amazing sunset I have ever seen!  Just gorgeous!  And framed between the houses across the street.....it was .....almost perfect.....and then I hear this beep from my phone....

         (Everyone groans, but he stops them)

No!  Well, yes, I felt that way....until I saw it was my buddy from school, and he is the greatest friend, and he always sends something to make me laugh, so I open the email and there's this video, of....all things....fireworks!

And for the hell of it, I click and I look and it's just like the sky!  And there's music!  And for the next 3 minutes, I felt, like......the fireworks!

        (The others applaud)

And I will never forget that!

         (Goes to return to seat, stops, looks back)

Of course the rest of the night was horrifying- but that moment, those three minutes, all I can say is..WOW!

         (The others cheer, lights down)
-------------------------

This monologue is pulled from the headlines of my life - a big thank you, Art!  for the wonderful fireworks video!

-----------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1294 Tasty Choice by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 30, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1294 Tasty Choice by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 30, 2017                      

                                               Tasty Choice
  
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                          

            (Actor enters holding an apple, puts it into pocket)

Choices.  We all have choices.

It's amazing how when we look back at choices, which ones we'd pick to change!

For example, a person will complain about how they should never have married that person they married.  If they'd only gone to college.  If they'd only taken a different job.....If.

If what?  If you had a choice to go back and change the past, which part would you change?

A lady at a party told me the United States should never have dropped the atomic bomb.  If she could have changed anything, that's what she would have changed.

I was amazed - if you're going to alter the fabric of history, why that point?  How about a little earlier, when they decided to bomb Pearl Harbor?  Why not change that?  Or even earlier, that Hitler had gotten admitted to the art school?  That slavery was not even considered as an option for the new world....or any world!

What about going all the way back, maybe not killing Jesus?  And, as long as we have our travel hats on- how about another jump in time?

How about....back to the original choice?

         (Takes out the apple, looks at it)

There's a good start - let's make God choose - not to let us have a choice!  Not to have the Tree of Knowledge so nearby.....or even better, when told to stay away.....we just .....listen to our parents and never do anything wrong.....give up our choice of choosing.....

         (Takes a big bite out of the apple)

So......we get to blame God.....or, for those non-believers, blame yourselves and the DNA choices made by nature......but no matter what, pick a choice that would really make a difference.....

          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

But let's be honest......it was a tasty choice!

          (Exits....eating the apple)

-----------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1293 The Future Is In the Bag by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 29, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1293 The Future Is In the Bag by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 29, 2017             

                                    The Future Is In the Bag 
  
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                          


        (A person comes out, holding something furtively beneath the clothing)

Plastic!

I love plastic!  The smell!  The touch!  The inability to decompose!  All so amazing!

It is almost..dare I say it?....almost....(hisses)......sexual!

Oh, don't look so surprised!  You chose to be here tonight!  You are just as excited as I am!
As we all are!  Our favorite movie is...The Graduate!  Say it with me.....

        (Encourages the audience to join in)

Plastic....plastic.....(louder) PLASTIC....PLASTIC!   

        (Puts finger to mouth)

Shhh.....not too loud.....

That is why this is an underground club.....it's dangerous, it's titillating.....it's illegal!....but 
we have access to plastic!  That's right!  Plastic that is now unavailable anywhere
on the planet.....as we all know, the obsession with stripping the planet of plastic took hold 
in the early 2000s - rising to fevered pitch with the election of President Gore, the first 
President ever elected who was over the age of 110!  They made jokes....he was the plastic president!  
But actually, he was the ANTI-plastic president....

His laws prohibiting first manufacture, then ownership!  of plastic bags made us illegals- outlaws -
criminals!     PBJ - Plastic bag juveniles they were called..... young people raised from birth to hate
 plastic!  The horrifying and completely without sympathy.... bag police -

They destroyed laboratories experimenting with ways of emulsifying the plastic into fertilizer...
making it biodegradable.....and so.....the plastic we have here....is very special.  Very rare.....

It is, like all things almost sexual..........sacred!

You were invited to join us for the ceremony where we place just washed fruits and vegetables into 
plastic bags, and watch how the bags  - HOLD IN THE WETNESS!  A miracle!  No dripping....

Oh, the joy!  The wonder!  The utter immorality of....plastic.......in all its glory....

            (Puts hands up to the heavens)

And now....we will pray.......

            (Lights down on a very strange new world)


----------------------

Please note - This is not in defense of plastic- just wondering about its future - Kenya just became the most recent country to ban plastic bags, joining several others - for more info, please click here
-----------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monday, August 28, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1292 Experimental Theater by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 28, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1292 Experimental Theater by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 28, 2017           

                                        Experimental Theater
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                          

        (In the true spirit of the horror genre, this monologue is best presented on a- you guessed it! - on a dark and stormy night.  In a VERY dark theater, with a spot on the actor, who emerges, dressed in.....black. When the actor speaks, it might help to sound like, maybe, Vincent Price?)

Yes, my friends......tonight is special.  Tonight you are prepared to be.....served something new.  Something truly....experimental!  You are all the creme de la creme of the theater audience.....you are the ones who are willing to try something new..........characters that are less than....polite.......you embrace the unembraceable!......the macabre.....the frightening.....the deadly.....and, best of all.......you don't mind...... messy endings.

           (Signals to the side, smiles.  Lights flash and there are loud noises)

That is why ....if you try to move, you will notice.....you cannot!  You are strapped in for a ride you will never forget!

          (Takes a doctor's coat and puts on with a flourish)

You must be patient......or perhaps I should say....THE patient!  Because in this theater, the experiment is more than just dramatic............

           (Pulls out a scalpel from a pocket, shakes head, then reaches into another pocket and pulls out a huge knife)

You see, the experiment is on......(maniacal laugh)  YOU!

          (Blackout!)


      
----------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1291 Truth Be Told by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 27, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1291  Truth Be Told by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 27, 2017           
   

                                            Truth Be Told
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                                 

Truth.  Truth be told.....or is it ever told?
        Here's a good one about the truth - Mark Twain said - If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

That's a great one because it's not true on several levels.

First, if you tell the truth.......who the hell tells the truth?  And let's say you do, what does that mean you don't have to remember anything.....I mean, I forget things all the time!  So does everyone!  Go ahead..... tell me....what is the truth?  Big old question.....still only one answer I have found.

The truth is.....the REAL truth is.....no one knows what the truth is....because if anyone says they know the truth....they are lying......

           (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And that my friends, is the truth.....

           (Exits.....or do they)
----------------------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1290 Halves Again (for Osculation) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 26, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1260!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1290 Halves Again (for Osculation) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 26, 2017       
    Not sure where this will go, but here are the other parts of the play -08,396, 470, 490, 698, 750, 804, 817,825, 1052, 1060, 1100, 1133, 1146, 1150, 1151, 1153, 1159, 1230, 1286 and today's 1290.
      
                                                Halves Again
                                  (for Osculation)
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com
                                 

        (Ariana and Isaac are talking and suddenly Ariana goes to the board and starts to draw parallel lines on either side of the board.)

ARIANA -  See this?  I think you have theory confused with reality.....You are talking about the division of distance between two lines....one half each time you divide.

        (She draws a line in the center, then another between two of the lines, keeps dividing the spaces as she speaks)

ARIANA -  Infinite divisibility.... I think Plato first proposed this.....except maybe there was a caveman someplace, but he didn't copryright the information so they give the credit to the Greek with influential friends.....you divide the space in half and keep going, and yet the two lines will never meet...this leads to a whole crap load of others theories... (rattles these off)  Poisson distribution, the stuttering Poisson distribution,[4] the negative binomial distribution, and the Gamma distribution are examples of infinitely divisible distributions — as are the normal distributionCauchy distribution and all other members of the stable distribution family...and...the skew-normal distribution is an example of a non-infinitely divisible distribution.......

           (She has the lines almost touching now)

But the reality in the world is.....the deadline is ticking down ....the time gets closer to midnight.....half again, half again, half a league onward.....and before you know it.....in the REAL world.....it's over!   The lines meet and....y
our time is up! It's midnight!  It's a new day!

            (She draws one line over another and turns to Isaac)

ISAAC -  (Impressed)  So you have been listening!

             (She shakes her head in amazement)

ARIANA -  Have you?

             (She hands him the dry erase pen and leaves, he watches.  Lights down)
---------------------------------------------------------
For more on Infinite divisibility click here
        
----------------------------------------------------
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8