Saturday, August 12, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1276 Please Stop Me If You Heard This by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 12, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1276 Please Stop Me If You Heard This by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 12, 2017        

Not the same as two days ago.....

                      Please.... Stop Me If You Heard This   (c)
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved 
       (Older actor enters, drink in hand)

M'dad used ta start all his stories with the now famous words....Please...stop me if you heard this.  Which of course meant nothing, because, one, we had always heard the story.....and two, no one dared stop m'dad when he started a story!

And stories he had....with a few drinks under his belt, which he also had, the stories would flow.  Each one preceded with the same expression....please, stop me if you heard this.

As a boy, those stories fascinated me....the ones when he was a fisherman, and the monsters of the sea he encountered.  The ones when he was in an airplane, and it almost crashed!  And the one about how he met m'mother, on a street in New York, when the wind whipped up her skirt and he gallantly went over and pulled it down......always got a good reaction from the crowd, and m'mother would shake her head at him.

And then one day, he was, oh, 75, and he was telling his stories, and he got a look on his face, a look I'd never seen before......

         (He stops and looks out at the crowd)

And he says, in this strange voice....a voice like coming from far away.....Please. stop me if you heard this.......and he looked at ma, and smiled, and said....goodbye.....

        (He smiles, remembering)

And he had a massive heart attack.  I think he was probably dead before he hit the ground.....all I remember was thinking, no, I didn't hear that one before......And that's why....I never start a story with those words!

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Which is probably all that keeps me alive!

        (He lifts his drink and exits)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

I didn't see that one coming!

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

I didn't see that one coming!