Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #596 What's the Big Deal? by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 30, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #596 What's the Big Deal? by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 30, 2015

        This is actually an idea for a short animated video.  Would it work as a monologue (or two) without the visual?  Not sure, but am working on it!                               
                               
                                     What's the Big Deal?
                                             by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved                                    
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
   

          (A large man is seen, drinking a beverage from a mug.  He is smiling, enjoying the drink.  A large woman enters, sees the man and is annoyed)

WOMAN -  I knew it!  I knew it!  I just knew it!

          (She goes over to the mug and looks in, then grabs it and takes a swig)

MAN -  I know you knew it.....we're a very knowing couple......

WOMAN - (Furious)  If you washed out the mug, I would never have known!

         (She looks behind the man, shakes head)

WOMAN -  Well, maybe never is an imaginary long time!

MAN -  Stop being so worried and annoyed about everything, it'll ruin your enjoyment of the now!

WOMAN -  Enjoyment of the now?  What is that supposed to mean?

MAN -  It means this.....

          (We see him reach and take a sugar cube and drop it into his coffee as she watches, furious)

MAN -  Sweet!

WOMAN -  Amazing! I've been working on this all day....why didn't you use the ones from the box!
I asked you to PLEASE use the ones from the box!

MAN - (Unconcerned)  What's the big deal?

WOMAN -  (Almost ranting)  What's the big deal?  (Starting to stamp her feet)  What's the big deal?  (Almost foaming at the mouth)  WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

MAN -  (Calm, sipping)  Yeah, what's the big deal?  I asked you to make me a cup of coffee, and you said you were busy, and I figure....what's the big deal?  I'll make it myself....and I did, and .....(smiling, seductive).....you know I like sweet stuff in my drink, baby....

          (He reaches over and grabs her around the waist, bringing her closer)

MAN -  And you know I like your sweet stuff.....so, whaddaya say?

          (Even though annoyed, she starts to giggle)

MAN -  You can finish later......right?  There's always tomorrow......

         (He takes her arm and they start to walk off.  She looks back, suddenly takes a sugar cube and runs  puts the cube on top of a pile of other cubes.  He shakes his head, reaches out his hand. )

WOMAN -  I guess you're right, there's always tomorrow......

          (As they exit, the camera will show a distant image of what looks like stacked sugar cubes.....in a shape we recognize as.....the real pyramids of Giza......and there are a few of the stones missing........but, hey?what's the big deal, it's still impressive from most of the angles....)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Pyramids of Giza........what difference do a few cubes/stones make?

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8












Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #595 Reading Journals by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 29, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #595 Reading Journals  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 29, 2015
                                       
                                     Reading Journals
                              by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved                                      
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
     
      (This is an older woman who is dragging a box onto the stage.  She sits, opens the box and takes out a dusty notebook, opens it and starts to read, shaking her head.  She puts the book down.)

I don't know if this is right, to read journals written by someone else, someone who is still alive.....and yet.....they are fascinating!  I can't stop!

      (She opens another one and reads, then closes it)

I feel so strange!  These are from years ago!  What harm does it do!  And yet, I feel like I'm intruding...like I'm stealing the past......or maybe not.....

      (Digs in and finds another)

Things about her......I never knew.....or if I knew, can't recall.......the past is such a strange place to visit.......or is it just an illusion?  Maybe everything in these books is a lie?  How would I know?

Why do I care?

Should I give them back?  I can't....that woman is long gone.....I doubt if I could ever find her.......

        (She looks at one page, then turns it, getting engrossed, then she starts to cry, but stops, closes the book)

I think that's enough for now.  Perhaps....some things are best left in the attic......

Perhaps .....these wouldn't be so hard to read.....if I didn't know the author......

     (She puts back the book, closes the box, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

If the writer wasn't me......

     (She exits.....)


--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8











Monday, September 28, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #594 The Endless Interview by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 28, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #594  The Endless Interview by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 28, 2015
                                       
        In honor of all those who interview......
                                     The Endless Interview
                              by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved                                      
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
  
        (The young man is dressed for success - nice suit, shirt, tie, shoes, the whole bit, all a little uncomfortable as it is obvious he does not wear this type of outfit often.  He is hot around the collar, and trying to pay attention.)

Yes, I....think that's a good question.....you have a lot of good questions.......

       (Looks at watch)

Boy, I never realized an interview could be this long.(corrects himself)......this involved.....I mean.....I appreciate all the time you put into interrogating....I mean talking with potential employees……I really want this job, I mean, all the experience I’ve had is interning…yes, I know I said that before and it’s on my resume….sorry….......I...yes.....so, what was the question again?


       (Listens, happy)

The last question?  This is the last question?  I mean, ok, that sounds good.......

      (Listens)

Wow, if I could describe my perfect job in a way that involves something I love to do.......okay...I can do this!

       (He thinks, then perks up, takes off tie while talking)

My ideal job would be like.....like eating an endless sandwich!  Yeah, you heard me!  It would be like a footlong, only a mile long!  An endless mile!  And I would keep eating .....and each part of the sandwich would be fantastic!  Roast beef and mustard, then barbecue and onion and teriyaki, and then steak with eggs!  And it would just keep going!  Maybe a bacon and tuna section, and everything with lots of mayo and pepper and all kinds of weird stuff from all over the world!

      (His mouth is watering as he talks, he waves the tie while he moves around)

And I would be happy to come to work every single day, because I would never know what kind of delicious stuff was next!

      (He takes a deep breath and puts the tie in his pocket)

And if this job is like an endless sandwich......I hope I get it, and I will love it!  Thank you!

      (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I gotta go, for some reason, I'm really hungry!

      (He exits......time to eat!)      

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8











Sunday, September 27, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #593 Decisions, Decisions (for Celebrity) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 27, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #593 Decisions, Decisions (for Celebrity)  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 27, 2015

           Other monologues from Celebrity on Day # 229,  281
This is a duo, but has a couple of potential monologues - one for Savannah, the other for Blake


                                        Decisions, Decisions
                                                 (for Celebrity)
                                             by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved                                               
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
       
        (Savannah enters, she is in her late 20s, the woman Monte was talking to in the monologues on Day 229 and 281.  She comes through a door, turns on lights, finally noticing her boyfriend Blake sitting on the sofa, just staring at her.  She has a Southern accent, but he does not.  Hers can slip a little - it's not real)

SAVANNAH-  What're you doing sittin' in the dark?

BLAKE  - It's a metaphor.

SAVANNAH-  Oh, clever, I just love when you get all intellectual on me.

BLAKE -  It means you're keeping me in the dark.

SAVANNAH - Or that you're too stupid to turn on the lights?

         (He stands up, goes over to her to light her cigarette)

SAVANNAH -  You're just gonna ignore that?

BLAKE -  I think you may have forgotten we're not in public right now, and Monte has this place swept for bugs every day or two, so you don't have to pretend we broke up....or is it not pretending any more?

SAVANNAH -  Oh, cut it out, Blake, I'm tired.....and we have to talk about somethin' important.

BLAKE -  Do tell.

SAVANNAH -  (Annoyed)  I dunno why you're bein' like this, I mean, you are makin' good money workin' for Logan, it looks like the movie deal will include you as my driver......

BLAKE -  And Logan, your public boyfriend, will get to wonder if you still have a thing for me.....

SAVANNAH -  That's the way it works, honey, and it is workin'.....

BLAKE -  Will you make him jealous enough to marry you?

SAVANNAH -  That could be in the plot line.....

BLAKE -  Or maybe you get pregnant first.....

SAVANNAH -  (Surprised)  Where'd you hear that one?

BLAKE -  You forget I'm the only straight male member of Logan's entourage, and the other boys just LOVE to gossip!

SAVANNAH - He wasn't supposed to tell anyone!  Monte will be furious!

BLAKE - Unless Monte told him to drop a hint or two.....by the way, I'm curious, exactly how will you get pregnant?  Private clinic, turkey baster?

SAVANNAH -  Don't be so crude!

BLAKE -  It can't be the usual way.....or is Logan really the greatest actor in the world?

SAVANNAH -  Well, now that you have brought up the topic, what do you think about a baby?

BLAKE - (Amazed, sputtering)   I can't believe it!  Are you asking me.....asking if we.....I mean....that I should get you pregnant?

SAVANNAH -  Well, God knows you love to practice, so it shouldn't be that difficult.....it would just mean forgettin' my pill, or maybe takin an antibiotic.....happens to people all the time....

BLAKE -  (Horrified)  And you would do what?  Pretend it was his?  Have him marry you and raise it as his?

SAVANNAH - Only for a little while!  Just until I had a solid hit.....and some extra money in the bank, because Monte's not sure how people would take a scandal like this.....we have to be careful....

BLAKE -  And that's all that concerns you?  The fact that you might have a baby with the wrong father, and be raising that baby for what, a year, two years, three?  Until he's in school?  And then reveal that I'm the daddy?  And that all this was just a sham?  Or by then will Logan have a new love to prove he's straight, so you and I could live off the settlement?  Do you even hear what this is doing to you? And what about the poor baby?  Have you given one minute of thought to what doing this would mean to your....OUR...baby?   My God!  It's like a...a nightmare!

SAVANNAH -  (Annoyed)  Are you jokin'?  You seem to be so worried about a baby, that's not the way you acted two years ago when I was....... late.  As I recall, you were sweatin' for the money to get rid of it.....well, my baby is gonna have money, and a daddy who loves him, and no worries about gettin' kicked outta cheap motels 'cause we didn't get paid for some gig in a stinkin' bar!

And don't dare act all high 'n mighty with me, Mr. Big Shot!  You knew what we were gettin' into a year ago, when Monte came to our room, and you heard money jinglin' in your pockets!  What the hell did you think he was talkin' about then?  Some other people?  He was talkin' about us!  And you are here for the ride, my friend.......or are you still my friend?  Can I count on you?

         (She stares at him as the scene fades into a magazine headline with Savannah's face on it and the words - Savannah pregnant!  Logan plans surprise wedding in Hawaii!)

           End of scene.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The two monologues taken from this would be -
-------------------------------------------------
Blake's monologue  -

BLAKE -  And that's all that concerns you?  The fact that you might have a baby with the wrong father, and be raising that baby for what, a year, two years, three?  Until he's in school?  And then reveal that I'm the daddy?  And that all this was just a sham?  Or by then will Logan have a new love to prove he's straight, so you and I could live off the settlement?  Do you even hear what this is doing to you? And what about the poor baby?  Have you given one minute of thought to what doing this would mean to your....OUR...baby?   My God!  It's like a...a nightmare!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 and

Savannah's monologue  -

SAVANNAH -  (Annoyed)  Are you jokin'?  You seem to be so worried about a baby, that's not the way you acted two years ago when I was....... late.  As I recall, you were sweatin' for the money to get rid of it.....well, my baby is gonna have money, and a daddy who loves him, and no worries about gettin' kicked outta cheap motels 'cause we didn't get paid for some gig in a stinkin' bar!

And don't dare act all high 'n mighty with me, Mr. Big Shot!  You knew what we were gettin' into a year ago, when Monte came to our room, and you heard money jinglin' in your pockets!  What the hell did you think he was talkin' about then?  Some other people?  He was talkin' about us!  And you are here for the ride, my friend.......or are you still my friend?  Can I count on you?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8










Saturday, September 26, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #592 by Janet S. Tiger Knocked Down Sept. 26, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #592 Knocked Down by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 26, 2015
     Other Operation Firefly sections - Day # 58#255,  #425

                                          Knocked Down
                                          (for Operation Firefly)
                                              by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved                                                 
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
       
           (There is a light in the background of this scene, it is ever present, making the night very bright.  One man is seen writing a letter as the others rest.  As he writes we hear his voice-over with views of the fire they are fighting.  Southern accent)

Today, we had our first battle, it was ......

           (He stops, trying to think of the words.  We see the fire tall against the sky, and the men scrambling to escape in front of it.)

It was.....not too bad.  For a fire......It was hot.....and maybe there ain't no bullets, but people can get hurt, and, I suppose, some might call it scary....

         (The men are slipping and falling down a hill with the fire chasing them.  One of the men yells for the other to follow him and he rolls down the brush because it's easier than trying to run, and at the bottom of the hill, there is a stream, and the men dive in as the fire approaches.  They swim out of reach of the fire as the trees come crashing into the water.  It almost sounds like bullets, and the fear and exhilaration is very evident as they watch the fire burn out as it hits the water.)

We had a coupla close calls, but we ok now.......

        (Others of their troop help them out of the water and they go to fight the tongues that are trying to jump the river.)

They told us during training most fires start from lightning, some of people doin' stupid stuff like throwin' matches out the window.....but some people, mostly guys, like to start fires.....because they like to watch 'em burn........I doan understand that......but I do.......because, even when it's hot, and even when it looks bad and even scary, there is a kind of......power......

        (We see him facing a wall of flames that is up a hill, until a friend grabs him and pulls him away)

And in that power, is all the power of the sun.....only it is here, and it can destroy everything......like Superman, only ........real........and when you have to stand and fight it.....with sometimes not much more than you bare hands......and you have to knock it down because you got no choice....it's gonna be you or the fire.......and it is.....dunno how to call it.....but

      (The men are seen with shovels and rakes, frantically making fire breaks, the fire almost winning, but finally they succeed in beating it back and it starts to die out.)

...I can feel somethin' deep inside, somethin' that I don't have the words for.....and I know that if maybe I was born someplace else, maybe I would wanna start a fire.....because.....like anything really so big.....and so ugly....and so scary.....it is.....

        (We see him facing the fire again just before his friends got him and he is stunned by the intensity)

It is.....really......truly.......beautiful.........                                


        (He seals the letter and leans down, falls asleep, the glow from the fire still burning.  End of scene.)



-----------------------------

more about firefighting in the 1940s - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_wildfire_suppression_in_the_United_States

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Friday, September 25, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #591 The Greatest Salesman by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 25, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #591 The Greatest Salesman by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 25, 2015

                                 The Greatest Salesman
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                           © all rights reserved                                                      
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
       

            (He comes out and we know as soon as he is visible that this is a presence, this is.....a salesman.  He is dressed perfectly and is magnetic, coming out into the crowd to shake hands.  He gets back onto the stage and nods)

Great!  You all look fantastic!  How you feel and how you look is half the battle in the battle for sales!

You heard me, this is a battle!  A war!  And if you lose, you know it.  No mommy to give you some trophy that you were  (mocking) 'present at the event'.......no wimpy teacher telling the whole class that the important thing is to  (imitating) 'do your best!'

So I am here to help you win....I am going to give you the secret that my father, the greatest salesman I ever knew, told me when I started out as a salesman of newspapers when I was just a kid!

He told me something I never forgot, something I still use every day, because it is just as true today as it has been since the beginning of time.....you have to.....listen closely!  You have to.....

           (He leans over and whispers loudly)

You have to......sell....the....lie!

(Takes a deep breath)  Boy, I always feel like I'm sharing the wisdom of the ages, maybe because I am!  Now I look out and I see faces just like mine, faces with a thought.....what the hell is he talking about?  I understand lying, and I'm not supposed to lie, because if I do, then the customer can return  and get their money back!

Part of being a good salesman is knowing how to listen - I said....SELL THE LIE!

And the beauty of it is.......this works for anything you are going to sell!

Cars and diamonds, chocolate and furniture, office supplies and underwear....you name it, and if you SELL THE LIE, you will be wealthy men within a few years, maybe even months if you sell it well!

        (Cups his hand to his ear)

No!  Not lie!  Sell the lie!  What is the lie?  The lie is what everyone wants to hear!  That the new car, the beautiful ring, the lamp for the living room, the blender for the kitchen , that purchasing what you are selling is going to make them.....HAPPY!

That's right, it's simple.....no matter how miserable their little lives are, no matter what horrors they have endured, or that they dwell in the land of crap warmed over.....if they buy whatever it is you're offering.....they will be happy!  Maybe not forever, but who cares about forever in a world of here and now!  Be happy now!  That rush they get when they show the diamond ring off to all their girlfriends, the look in the other guys faces when they see all the new gadgets on the dashboard!  That is what you're selling!  You are selling.....Happy!

Now go out there and sell, sell....SELL! 

         (Turns to leave, hears something, stops, looks back)

Why is it a lie?  (Smiles)  Because nothing you can buy makes you happy - it doesn't work like that - only the inside of you can make you really happy!  But that is why.....we sell....the lie......because when they buy...we're happy!

        (He bounces offstage to another sale....never the end in the search for happy)

 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those interested - below is a second version of The Greatest Salesman, not much difference, just a bit longer - I'd be very interested to hear which one you prefer - many thanks!


                                 The Greatest Salesman
                                           (expanded version 2)
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                           © all rights reserved                                                       
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com

       

            (He comes out and we know as soon as he is visible that this is a presence, this is.....a salesman.  He is dressed perfectly and is magnetic, coming out into the crowd to shake hands.  He gets back onto the stage and nods)

Great!  You all look fantastic!  How you feel and how you look is half the battle in the battle for sales!

You heard me, this is a battle!  A war!  And if you lose, you know it.  No mommy to give you some trophy that you were  (mocking) 'present at the event'.......no wimpy teacher telling the whole class that the important thing is to  (imitating) 'do your best!'

So I am here to help you win....I am going to give you the secret that my father, the greatest salesman I ever knew, told me when I started out as a salesman of newspapers when I was just a kid!

He told me something I never forgot, something I still use every day, because it is just as true today as it has been since the beginning of time.....you have to.....listen closely!  You have to.....

           (He leans over and whispers loudly)

You have to......sell....the....lie!

(Takes a deep breath)  Boy, I always feel like I'm sharing the wisdom of the ages, maybe because I am!  Now I look out and I see faces just like mine, faces with a thought.....what the hell is he talking about?  I understand lying, and I'm not supposed to lie, because if I do, then the customer can return  and get their money back!

Part of being a good salesman is knowing how to listen - I said....SELL THE LIE!

And the beauty of it is.......this works for anything you are going to sell!

Cars and diamonds, chocolate and furniture, office supplies and underwear....you name it, and if you SELL THE LIE, you will be wealthy men within a few years, maybe even months if you sell it well!

        (Cups his hand to his ear)

No!  Not lie!  ­Sell the lie!  What is the lie?  The lie is what everyone wants to hear!  That the new car, the beautiful ring, the lamp for the living room, the blender for the kitchen - that purchasing what you are selling is going to make them.....HAPPY!

That's right, like most great ideas…. it's simple.....no matter how miserable their little lives are, no matter what horrors they have endured, or that they dwell in the land of crap warmed over.....if they buy whatever it is you're offering.....they will be happy!  Maybe not forever, but who cares about forever in a world of here and now!  Be happy now!  That rush they get when they show the diamond ring off to all their girlfriends, the look in the other guys faces when they see all the new gadgets on the dashboard! 

          (He hears a question, nods)

Of course, the big sale gives a big happy……but ALL sales are for the happy…..if you buy that lamp it will make your home nicer and brighter….and you will be HAPPY you don’t have to squint when you read your romance novels! 

That’s what my Dad taught me…why get the 10 cent newspaper?  Because it makes you smarter to know stuff….and you get respect and that makes you….let’s hear it….HAPPY!  And that’s how I sold more newspapers than all the other guys!  Happy!

 That is what you're selling!  You are selling.....Happy!

Now go out there and sell, sell....SELL! 

         (Turns to leave, hears something, stops, looks back)

Why is it a lie?  (Smiles)  Because nothing you can buy makes you happy - it doesn't work like that - only the inside of you can make you really happy!  But that is why.....we sell....the lie......because when they buy...we're happy!

        (He bounces offstage to another sale....never the end in the search for happy)




--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Thursday, September 24, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #590 Don't Make in Your Pants (For the Book of Teas) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 24, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 590!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #590 Don't Make in Your Pants (For the Book of Teas) by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 24, 2015

  This is the same character from Days # 15, 41-53, 69, 84, 96, 105, 118, 156, 173, 175-8, 181-5, 269, 331, 361, 452, 506,542, 554, 555, 558 and today's 590.  Southern accent.

       
                              Don't Make in Your Pants
                                    (for the Book of Teas)
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                           © all rights reserved                                                         
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com
        (Lights up on T, looking at a package of Depends.  She still has that Southern accent)


Whenever I see these I think-  don't make in your pants.

Great advice given by my Uncle Matthew when I was a little girl.
 
He was actually my Great uncle, and he was so old that he looked like he was going to snap apart if you touched him.  My brother dared me to touch his leg, and I, of course, always desperate to prove I was not a 'fraidy cat' came around from behind Uncle Matthew and reached out to touch his bony leg -he was in shorts no matter how cold the weather.  I was almost there, when ....

         (She remembers it, reaches out her arm)

.....he......he grabbed my hand - almost scaring the bejezus out of me.    What you are doing girl?  Are you trying to drive me crazy?
 
No sir, I just wanted to see if you would break - and I told him about the bet with my brother and he started to laugh so hard, I thought he was going to break!
 
Tears came down his face and I started to laugh also.  We laughed so hard, and after that we were friends.  I think laughter is a great bond between people.  It is like the opposite of war, which is a great bonder too, but laughter is so much more fun. When war bonds people, usually you cry. When you look back and remember the laughing, you laugh again.  . 
 
Anyhow, they used to bring Uncle Matthew to family events - we were all cousins of various degree that only the older ones knew how the relationships connected. ..... But then he started to...as he put it so delicately......make in his pants, so they didn't bring him anymore, so we would visit him at the old folks home where he was living.
 
Although he was in a wheelchair, he never lost his mind, although he claimed he wished he did.  He would say- T, some things are better left unseen, that's why God takes away most people's minds at the end.

 Look at them - he would indicate the other residents, many who sat drooling, unable to talk anymore, unable to think.  I wish I could be them, I wish I had the strength to take my own life.  Oh, Uncle Matthew, please don't say that, and he would laugh and say - but where would I take it?  I imagine I'm going to hell, T, so could it be worse than this?  That's what they tell you, but I don't know, I just don't know.  And then he would tell me some more jokes and it would time to leave.  My father believed very strongly in visiting family - we spent every Sunday afternoon - following church and dinner, going to visit all the relatives around the county.
 
When I was little I hated most of the visits - what child likes spendin time with old people who tell the same stories ovah and ovah?- but now, I wish more people were like my Daddy, so I could see the younger generation visit me - and I could bore them with my borin stories!  And  I would like to see what I was like then - what I would have been like now if I was born 70 years later.

        (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Before I started .......

         (Holds up the package of Depends)

....losin it!

          (She laughs and exits.  Blackout)

 

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #589 Summer Falls by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 23, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #589 Summer Falls by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 23, 2015

                                         Summer Falls
                                    A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                           © all rights reserved                                                                   
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com

         (In her twenties, the young woman enters tentatively, listens, then smiles.)

Thank you, I'm glad you liked the audition piece.  I wrote it myself. ....I put in the physical parts so you could see that I can do all kinds of stunts onstage......(listens)..interesting question, why did I call it 'Summer Falls?'  Actually, I got the idea from my life.....from a girl named Summer.

I had just come into fifth grade, and she sat next to me.....she was so helpful when I first got there, and I didn't know anyone......  And she seemed to like me......but then, rumors started.  Not that important at first, things like about liking a boy when I didn't, or trying to take people's pencils when they weren't looking....no big deal, I thought.

Then they got worse.......(starting to get uncomfortable)....I had no idea who was doing it, and Summer implied it was this girl Tracy, but it wasn't, it was Summer who was doing it.....all along.  My life got harder and harder......they even said......that I was...(still hard to say).....doing things with boys for money.......whoa.....I didn't realize how difficult this still is.....

And then I found out......it had been Summer all along.....she was no friend....she was....evil.  And I don't know if it was her idea alone, or if the other girls made her do it, but I didn't care.  By the end of the year, I was so happy we moved!

It took me a couple of years to get back to some kind of normal, and then, in high school, I was doing great when one day, there was a new girl in class.....you guessed it.....Summer had arrived.  But not the fun kind....the evil kind.....

At first I was afraid - even though it had been five years, could she hurt me?  She was new, so maybe not.....I stayed away from her, but I could tell she didn't fit in .....my high school was one that specialized in kids who were doing a lot of outside activities.  Some kids did music, and they traveled a lot, others were into sports or science.  I was involved with theater and history - and was actually working on a  play about an archeological dig.

But Summer made enemies, and one day, I saw her crying.  I almost went up to her, but I just couldn't. I was still afraid.  She went nuts one day in class.....her parents came and took her home, and she never came back.

I'll never forget it -Sept. 21st....it was at the beginning of the eleventh grade, the first day of fall.....Summer Falls.  That's where I got the idea for the monologue.

      (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

 And why in the monologue...... I went over to her, and forgave her and we became friends.  Because ....when you do art......you can have a happy ending......
                 
      (She exits.  End of scene)
 
--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #587 Day of Atonement (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 22 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #587 Day of Atonement  (revised) by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 22 2015

              From last year's Day of Atonement Day # 235  Oct. 5, 2014   - a thank you to my father for inspiring this story!
                                              Day of Atonement 
                                    A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                           © all rights reserved                                                                         
                                           tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (An older woman comes out, she is carrying a bird cage, which is empty.  She looks at the cage, then sets it down, looks up)

Yom Kippur.  I never thought I'd see another one, did I?  Written into the Book of Life, was I?  I guess...you just never know.

          (She looks at the cage)

I miss Mushke, she was a sweet bird.  Stupid, but sweet, like all of them.....She was not written into the Book of Life....I guess her death reminded me of all those years ago....    

         (She looks up again)

I just wanted to talk with you again, Beryl, and you, too, Dovid......oh, I know you wanted to be called Barry, and David, but you're both dead thirty years, so who cares?  I'm almost dead and I don't care. But I do care about one thing. 

Amazing, all this water under the bridge, and here I am, worried about a stupid bird. Not Mushke......she was the latest,  no, Beryl, I'm talking about your bird..  Remember? Your little parakeet......Tweety bird.  Remember her?  Remember how you loved her so much, and how you warned Dovid that he must never ever open the cage, because she could get out, and that would be it......what am I asking if you remember, of course you remember. 

Once you die, you remember everything.  So you must remember when Tweety escaped and you blamed Dovid, and he denied it....which he always did whenever he did something wrong, he was very convincing, too, maybe that's why he became a lawyer, I don't know. But you beat him up because the bird was gone, and I was little, and you, Beryl, you knew it had to be Dovid.

But maybe......maybe you don't know everything. This was back when I was four years old.  And I was alone in the room with Tweety.....(remembering)  Tweety the sweetie, you used to call her.   

          (Remembering)

And I knew you loved that bird, you would come home from that office you worked in, and you'd be so tired from the subway, and that bird would sing as soon as you came in the door!  And you used to tell Dovid, (imitates)  Don't you go near Tweety!  If anything happens to Tweety, I'll kill you!

        (Hard for her to say, she pantomimes what she is telling)

I climbed up on a chair and I wanted to get a better look...so I......(shudders)....I opened the cage, and Tweety flew out, and out the window.....and I was so scared I hid in the closet.  And then you came home and saw Tweety was gone, and you beat up Dovid.....for what I did.       

         (She takes a handkerchief out and dabs at her eyes)

 And no one suspected me, because I was so little, and I had moved the chair back, and no one thought I could do anything like that......and I watched you hit Dovid and I was afraid, you might hit me.......you never did, for anything, and I always felt bad that I never told, so that's why, on this day, today, I'm telling you both.....that I'm sorry.

 (Sighs deeply) I never meant to have Tweety get away, and for you to get beat up, Dovid. I just wanted to hear her sing....for me.  That's why, I guess, I've had birds my whole life.        

(Takes a deep breath) And so today, that's why I wanted to ....what would the word be?  Apologize?  Confess?  Make amends? I am sorry, Dovid, and Beryl.......I hope you both forgive me.  I figure, I'll be with you in person soon, so I wanted to clear this up before I join you. How is it up there?  I hope we all get along better than we did down here. If we don't, maybe I can visit cousin Yankel and the Gallagher boys down below.  (She laughs)  I'm sure they're not up there with you!           

        (She touches the cage)

 I'm not sure if I should get another bird.  What if I'm not sealed into the Book of Life and the bird has to go to a new home?  Is that fair?  Does a bird care what's fair?

        (She picks up the cage and starts to walk out, stops, looks up, smiles.)

   All the troubles in the world, and here I am, worried about a bird that's been dead for over 60 years!  Thank you, God, for a life that had such boring problems!    

       (She exits.  The end of Yom Kippur for this year.....L'shanah Tovah - wishing all a Happy, Healthy New Year) 
                                        
                 
--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8