Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #566 OPNA (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 1, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #566 OPNA (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 1, 2015

                                               (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                           A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                     © all rights reserved
           (An older black woman sits in the wheelchair and waves off questions from the others)

Where was I?  Y'all noticed I haven't been here in awhile, well, sorry to say, and I am truly sorry to say this, but I became...(she shudders)..an OPNA.....

       (The others react with horror, she holds up her hands to quiet them)

I know, our greatest fear....one we all have deep inside, that we too, will become....OPNAs.....for you new girl, I am not sayin' Oprah, I am sayin' OPNA because OPNA is the polite term for...Old Person Needing Aid.....

It was my own fault.  I have not been as steady on my feet since the ear infection last winter.  And I had a basket of laundry in one hand, and all the laundry essentials in the other to put into the car, because, of course, I wanted to save time by only making....can we hear a big send out......by only making......

       (They all join her)


And so I did just that.....I had one trip.....right by the gate where the stones are a bit uneven, and I am always admonishing my auntie to be careful.  Well, as always, I shoulda taken my own advice, but ......I haven't had a trip in years, so I guess this was it, folks.  Flat on my face....you can see the remnants of the bruises because, even after three months, nothin' heals easy over 65.....

So I broke a wrist, and twisted my ankle, and my cousins had to finally come in and step up and take care of their momma, and me, too.

It was not a pretty few weeks there.  My auntie is still a wonderful lady, but, God love her, I'm lucky my neighbor saw me sprawled out there like an ink blot with all the laundry flyin' in the street.  At least the laundry that hadn't gotten dropped into the dirt......and of course, it wasn't on the trip there, it had to be after everything was washed.  Ain't that the way it goes!

But one thing, I did get me some rest.  They gave me some NICE sleeping medicine for the pain, and I slept for I think mighta been a week.  Oooh, that showed me why people like dope so much,  that  saying they got now, you know the one, everybody says it....'no worries'.... musta come from someone on morphine......

Anyhow, things started to heal, and I am back on a modified schedule, because the doctor told my cousins that if I wasn't well enough to help their momma, they would have to do the whole job, and boy, did they start helping me!  Finally treating me like I was worth something......

      (She walks over to her chair)

But bein' an OPNA......, just showed me what y'all been talkin' about all these years.  It's better to be taking care of, than the one who's sick.....do I hear an Amen?

       (She raises her hands and they all join her in 'Amen.'  Blackout, end of scene)
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8