Monday, September 7, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #572 Rebbetzin (The Rabbi's Wife) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 7, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #572  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 7, 2015


                                                      Rebbetzin


                                                    (The Rabbi's Wife)

                                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   

                                                     © all rights reserved

       (A man with a yarmulke - skullcap - enters, he is praying, his eyes closed.  He finishes, looks around, smiles)

So, bubbleh, you came out for some fresh air, too!

       (Listens, laughs)

Yes, I know it's the sermon, but as a rabbi I knew used to say...(imitates) 'one of the shortest lists in the world ....rabbis who give fast sermons.'

He's a good rabbi, but it's late, and I like to just ....think about things by myself up here on the roof, I think sometimes, maybe I'm a little closer to God.......what do you think?

       (Listens)

And it's not so boiling either!

       (Laughs)

A story?  I know I promised you a story, but now?  On Rosh Hashanah?  (Thinks)  Okay, I have one for you.....about a rabbi's wife, and she was a wonderful person, but she had a problem.....a big problem.... and every day, she would go to Goldstein's Bakery.....even on Sabbath, when he would have to be open so the women could get their warm meals from his oven......so they didn't have to light their stoves on the Sabbath....yes, so many rules.....no she was not obese, she did not go to get cookies!  She did not go to get her food warmed up…..

      (He walks around, painting the location for his listener)

The fact was, she was a bookie.    Do you know what that is? ....... Good.....you're older than I realize......and television and the Internet are teachers.......anyhow, she was a bookie and Goldstein was her only customer, and every day, he would give her $20 to bet on the numbers, and every day, she would go, so much that people gossiped about the rebbetzin, and how she and Goldstein were having....how do I put this politely.....yes, that's the term they use now...I prefer the old way.....canoodling, which has nothing to do with noodles by the way.....

Well, this went on for years!  Until one day, a member of the congregation became jealous, because she had a crush on Mr. Goldstein......or maybe she just liked his bialys, I don't know, but she went to the police and said something funny was going on, and lo and behold, the rebbetzin was arrested for ……making book!  It was a huge scandal.....and the rabbi forced his wife to stop being a bookie, but everyone knew, and it was talked about for many years after.......The Rebbetzin Was a Bookie......

       (Listens)


I'm glad you liked the story......now, it's time to go back and listen to the rabbi.....

        (Turns to go, stops, looks back)

Yes, there’s always a little more!  And from every $20, she got to keep $5.00, a lot of money in those hard times.  And she saved it, and sent her son to college......and he became......me.

That's right!   The rebbetzin......was my mother.....your great -grandmother......and when my father asked her why she did it....why she became a bookie.....she told him....'I thought you said it was in the Bible to do anything to get a good education' 

And for the first time, my father the rabbi couldn't think of anything to say!

       (He reaches out his hand and walks off......Lshanah tovah to all next week- a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous New Year!)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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