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Monologue Mania Day #457An Alarming Problem by Janet S. Tiger May 15, 2015
This is the same young man from Day # 246, another day, another problem
An Alarming Problem
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all
rights reserved 2015
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The young man enters, still stoned, still happy. He has a bag in one hand and is nodding)
Okay, yeah, I got it, now I'm in the right line for returns. Cool. I have it right in this bag, and I know I bought it in this store ....'cause the name of the store is right here on the bag.
(He opens the bag and looks in)
I am sorry it didn't work.....it had a really nice light at night, red and it kind of glowed in the dark.....and the little letters glowed, too......alarm clock ......because it's an alarm clock I guess.....
(He listens)
What's wrong with it? Oh, yeah, the reason I'm returning it is it doesn't work.....
(Listens, puzzled by the question)
Well, it's an alarm clock, right? And it's supposed to wake me up, right? But it doesn't. I just sleep. So it's broken, right?
I mean, if it's supposed to wake me up and it doesn't, then, it's broken......wait a minute, I had a thought......(straining to catch the thought)....it's like, there's a magnet in my head, that keeps me... in the bed..........so.....like that's a poem, right?
(He takes out a piece of paper and a pencil, scribbles)
I had to go back to school, because my Dad won't give me any more money....or share his stash with me!....unless I actually go to the classes, and most of the classes are English, so this is like, a poem...and I can use it for several teachers......good idea!.....I don't think the teachers talk to each other, right?
Anyhow, that's why he gave me the money to buy this alarm clock, and I have to be honest, I have missed a few classes because it's broken......maybe you could write me a note?
What? Oh, yeah, it rings. It rings loud! It's really hard to ignore it sometimes, but after a few minutes, I pretend it's part of my dream, like maybe I'm a fireman or something. So, how about that note for my teachers? Can I get one?
(Listens, shakes head)
Okay, I got it, capitalism and education do not mix. I learned that in one of my classes, I think. So, what about the money then?
The receipt? Yeah, it's right here.....
(He looks in the bag, dumps the bag's contents onto the floor, hunts)
I knew I put it here someplace......maybe....
(He looks through his pockets, no luck)
Oh, boy, no receipt, am I screwed or what?
(He nods, turns to leave, stops, looks back)
I guess there's always next semester, right?
(He walks off, happy to learn.....another day)
Okay, yeah, I got it, now I'm in the right line for returns. Cool. I have it right in this bag, and I know I bought it in this store ....'cause the name of the store is right here on the bag.
(He opens the bag and looks in)
I am sorry it didn't work.....it had a really nice light at night, red and it kind of glowed in the dark.....and the little letters glowed, too......alarm clock ......because it's an alarm clock I guess.....
(He listens)
What's wrong with it? Oh, yeah, the reason I'm returning it is it doesn't work.....
(Listens, puzzled by the question)
Well, it's an alarm clock, right? And it's supposed to wake me up, right? But it doesn't. I just sleep. So it's broken, right?
I mean, if it's supposed to wake me up and it doesn't, then, it's broken......wait a minute, I had a thought......(straining to catch the thought)....it's like, there's a magnet in my head, that keeps me... in the bed..........so.....like that's a poem, right?
(He takes out a piece of paper and a pencil, scribbles)
I had to go back to school, because my Dad won't give me any more money....or share his stash with me!....unless I actually go to the classes, and most of the classes are English, so this is like, a poem...and I can use it for several teachers......good idea!.....I don't think the teachers talk to each other, right?
Anyhow, that's why he gave me the money to buy this alarm clock, and I have to be honest, I have missed a few classes because it's broken......maybe you could write me a note?
What? Oh, yeah, it rings. It rings loud! It's really hard to ignore it sometimes, but after a few minutes, I pretend it's part of my dream, like maybe I'm a fireman or something. So, how about that note for my teachers? Can I get one?
(Listens, shakes head)
Okay, I got it, capitalism and education do not mix. I learned that in one of my classes, I think. So, what about the money then?
The receipt? Yeah, it's right here.....
(He looks in the bag, dumps the bag's contents onto the floor, hunts)
I knew I put it here someplace......maybe....
(He looks through his pockets, no luck)
Oh, boy, no receipt, am I screwed or what?
(He nods, turns to leave, stops, looks back)
I guess there's always next semester, right?
(He walks off, happy to learn.....another day)
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Janet S. Tiger
858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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