first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 600!
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How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day #644 Tinkly by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 17, 2015
Tinkly
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) 2015 all rights reserved
tigerteam1gmail.com
(The woman runs onstage holding a fan and a big envelope and waving wildly)
Hello! Hellooo! I saw you moved in and I wanted to welcome you to our community! This is such a wonderful place, and I just KNOW you'll have a happy time here!
Now I did notice you were about to put up a set of (shudders) wind chimes......I'm not sure you have had a chance to read the rules and regulations....
(She opens the envelope and removes a thick stack of papers)
There are a few.....and because I've lived here now for several years, I have had the chance to acquaint myself with some of the unusual ones......and on page 167....right here...
(She licks her finger and goes through opening to a page and shoving it at the audience)
It does mention that (very loud) NO ITEMS THAT MAKE ANY NOISE AUDIBLE IN ADJACENT APARTMENTS, such as, but not limited to robotic parrots toys, singing fish and.....WINDCHIMES may be placed on patios or by front doors. Any placement of such items will result in the immediate removal of said items - or a DENIAL OF RENEWAL OF LEASE.
Now I realize you might have brought these chimes as a reminder of the home you once occupied, and in that spirit, you would like to have that tinkly sound to bring back memories of the past.....
so I have brought you a very considerate house-warming gift.......
(She holds up the fan)
You can place the wind chimes INSIDE your home and have the fan blow on them.....so ONLY YOU will hear that insipid tinkling night and day!
Isn't that sweet of me? I knew you'd think so! I just know we're going to be great friends!
(She turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Just remember, the only tinkling to be heard....should be in the toilet!
(She smiles and waves, then notices something, starts shaking the papers and running)
Yoohoo....Mrs. Willton! I think you may have forgotten our little discussion about trying to sneak a dog into this community!!
(She exits to hunt for new problems)
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JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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1 comment:
Funny and so true! (As well you know.) Reminded me of a time twenty-some years ago when R and I were biking through an extensive adult community in Florida, when an elderly man barked at us: "If you're not 55—get out!"
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