first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 600!
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How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day #635 by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 9, 2015
Member of the Bored
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) 2015 all rights reserved
tigerteam1gmail.com
(A young man opens the door and enters tentatively. He is not happy to be here and it shows with his shuffling, head down.)
Hi, Mrs. Chapkin. I heard you wanted to see me......
(Listens)
Well, I figure it's because I was late a coupla times last month.....okay, yeah, maybe seven times......and yeah, I know that I might've been not as enthusiastic about this job, but hey, it is SOOOO boring. I mean, you gotta know it's boring....
(Listens)
Okay, I realize you and your husband, who is the general manager both started in this job, but then you have to admit it's kinda boring, right?......oooh.....I see.... well, I guess I could make a better effort....
(Listens, comes to attention)
What? I don't have to make a better effort? Wow, that's very understanding of you......ooooh, really? I don't have to make any effort at all?
(Listens)
So, I would be like an executive......what did you call the position.....Member of the 'Bored'......Well, that sounds a little weird......oooh.....I don't have to show up? ......and you would still pay me?
(Reaches over, takes a check and looks at it)
Wow! You're paying me for two weeks in advance?.......oooh....that's really nice....(Listens, is puzzled) ......oooh....you mean.....you're ...firing ME?
(Listens, amazed)
But if you don't have me here, who's gonna do this really horrible, amazingly boring job? I mean, there were two guys who quit before me this year, so who are you gonna get?
(Looks, is stunned)
A robot? I'm being replaced by ....a robot?
(Looks, examines the robot, jumps back)
Well, okay, it can talk.
(Leans in, jumps back - the robot hit him)
Okay, it can move!
(Waves)
All right, I'm outta here......I guess....I can be bored at home just as easy as here......
(Looks at the paper)
I guess I hated the boring part, but I did like the checks......
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back, whispers to the robot)
Hey, Mr. Robot.....remember...Christmas and holidays you get time and a half....
(He waves goodbye, exiting to the new era of never boring jobs)
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JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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