Monday, November 9, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #636 Member of the Bored by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 9, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #635 by Janet S. Tiger  Nov. 9, 2015

                                         Member of the Bored
                                           by Janet S. Tiger 
                                     (c) 2015 all rights reserved 
         (A young man opens the door and enters tentatively.  He is not happy to be here and it shows with his shuffling, head down.)

Hi, Mrs. Chapkin.  I heard you wanted to see me......


Well, I figure it's because I was late a coupla times last month.....okay, yeah, maybe seven times......and yeah, I know that I might've been not as enthusiastic about this job, but hey, it is SOOOO boring.  I mean, you gotta know it's boring....


Okay, I realize you and your husband, who is the general manager both started in this job, but then you have to admit it's kinda boring, right?......oooh.....I see.... well, I guess I could make a better effort....

          (Listens, comes to attention)

What?  I don't have to make a better effort?  Wow, that's very understanding of you......ooooh, really?  I don't have to make any effort at all?  


So, I would be like an executive......what did you call the position.....Member of the 'Bored'......Well, that sounds a little weird......oooh.....I don't have to show up?  ......and you would still pay me?

          (Reaches over, takes a check and looks at it)

Wow!  You're paying me for two weeks in advance?.......oooh....that's really nice....(Listens, is puzzled)'re ...firing  ME?

         (Listens, amazed)

But if you don't have me here, who's gonna do this really horrible, amazingly boring job?  I mean, there were two guys who quit before me this year, so who are you gonna get?

         (Looks, is stunned)

A robot?  I'm being replaced by ....a robot?

         (Looks, examines the robot, jumps back)

Well, okay, it can talk.  

          (Leans in, jumps back - the robot hit him)

Okay, it can move!  


All right, I'm outta here......I guess....I can be bored at home just as easy as here......

        (Looks at the paper)

I guess I hated the boring part, but I did like the checks......

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, whispers to the robot)

Hey, Mr. Robot.....remember...Christmas and holidays you get time and a half....

         (He waves goodbye, exiting to the new era of never boring jobs)
Like this monologue?  
I have a collection for seniors available now -dozens of monologues that are proven successes onstage - from Kennedy Center to Burma. Be a winner in your next audition/showcase/class.

Thanks for supporting the theater - and those who write for it!

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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