Sunday, May 7, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1179 Not Gonna Be Me (group) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 7, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1179 Not Gonna Be Me (group for Caregivers   ) by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 7, 2017     

                                            Not Gonna Be Me  (group)
                                                       (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                                              a monologue   by 
                                               by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved (c) 2017

      (Franklin - older - stands, the group quiets as he waves hands)

FRANKLIN - Please!  No more applause!

       (The others laugh and clap)
FRANKLIN - That's better.  It's nice to hear some hands clapping just for me.  You know why?

       (No one answers and cups his hand to ear)

FRANKLIN - You know why?

       (They shout, 'Why?')

FRANKLIN - Because......I came to an amazing conclusion today, or maybe, that's the wrong word, maybe the word is...

JEANNIE - Discovery?  

ANN-   Realization?  

FRANKLIN -  Epiphany!   Anyhow, I am positive about very little, but this, I am definitely positive about.....I am never, ever, in my life, going to be President.

GEORGE-   Maybe you'd be a better President....

ANN-  Don't see how you could be much worse than what we have!

          (Franklin  waves hand dismissing this)

FRANKLIN - I'm sure I could be a better President, but that's not saying much...., the issue is not the quality, but the opportunity, which is now, barring some type of odd situation where I got a genetic transplant and billions of dollars and won an's.not gonna happen.

          (The others pretend to be disappointed)

JEANNIE -'s another revelation.....I'm never gonna be....Miss America.....

        (The others roar)

GEMMA-  I'm never going to win an Oscar!

FRANKLIN - Or get a  Pulitzer.........or go to the moon....I don't care if Elon Musk gives me a free ride, I ain't going!......I'm never gonna find a cure for cancer....or invent a new kind of toilet paper.....on all of these things.....It's just not gonna be me.....

Now, when I was a bit younger.....

         (The others hoot)

FRANKLIN - Okay, when I was young.....I guess I figured anything is possible.  

GEORGE -  I know just what you could wake up and decide...hey, I'm gonna climb Mt. Everest!  And you believe it could be true......

FRANKLIN - ....or you see someone who takes your breath away, and you got a shot, that anything is possible.....(sighs deeply)  but now, I look at the movie stars and I know.....if they're going to be on the red carpet and want a's not gonna be me!  

And it won't be me having dinner with the Pope 

JEANNIE - or the Queen ...

GEMMA -.......or....Elvis! 

FRANKLIN - Those ships have sailed and I'm not on them..... It's not gonna

But....when my sweetheart needs help in the morning to put on socks.....

GEORGE - When my Lena needs help with tying her shoes.....

GEMMA - Or when the baby has to go to the doctor 

FRANKLIN -.....or figure out which pills to take.....well, that is gonna be .....

They all say together - ME........

         (They cheer and applaud, lights down)

 Originally posted for one actor on  Day #1124 Not Gonna Be Me  (c) Mar. 12, 2017     


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8