Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1174 Boo Hoo! by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 2, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1174  Boo Hoo! by Janet S. Tiger (c) May 2, 2017         
                                                         Boo Hoo!
                    ©Janet S. Tiger 2017 all rights reserved

           (The actor is smirking, takes out a giant handkerchief and holds it out)

There, there, will this help?  Is it big enough for all those tears?  Oh, boo- hoo!  I am just so upset seeing you cry about your big decision.....what should you do with all the money you just got?

How much was it that uncle left you?  A measly hundred and fifty....THOUSAND ...dollars!  Oh, yes, not enough to live on forever, not enough for you to invest, or to buy a house....unless the house was in Pittsburgh......and if you pay back people you owe money to....only a hundred thirty thousand would be left!  Oh, more boo-hoo!  By the way, you could start with that $20 you never paid back last year, but who's counting?

And now everyone is coming to ask you for money!  Boo-hoo!  You don't know who your friends are!

Wah, wah!  Sob sob!  Sniff, sniff!


What's that you say?  I don't sound...sincere?  Oh, my, is that so evident?  What was the first clue?  The fact I'm annoyed you are worried about how to spend a whole shitload of money in front of a starving actor who can barely pay the rent each month?  The other fact that it irritates me that you appear almost completely ungrateful for this windfall?

Or the fact that....you haven't offered me one red cent!

          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Of course there is one more tiny little fact......I wish it were me with all your problems.....Boo- hoo!

          (Takes the handkerchief, exits blowing nose loudly )

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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