Saturday, October 24, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #620 Obit the Dust by Janet S. Tiger Oct. 24, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #620 Obit by Janet S. Tiger  Oct. 24, 2015

                             Obit the Dust
                           (maybe for the Senior Channel)
                                        a monologue by Janet S. Tiger
                                           © all rights reserved

              (The older man comes onstage with a newspaper, happily waving it at the crowd.)

I love to read....especially the newspaper.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Internet, too.

The Internet is today, right now – sometimes you even hear about things BEFORE they happen – like those flash mobs.

Of  course I remember when flashing meant something completely different, but that dates me, which, by the way,  is the only date I get these days!

I was a newspaper boy.  Those are gone, too.  The victim of…victims.  In my day, a kid could ride around on his bike any hour, no problems.  I was a paper boy from age 7 until my first real job at the gas station.

We got the paper for free – that was one of the perks.  And the newspaper was bigger then.  Not color, just larger.  Now the paper is smaller and my waist is bigger.  Go figure.

And the way they do the news – well, I guess that had to change, too.  TV and online is up-to-date, so the papers have to give us some background – why did things happen?

And now I have the time to read the paper sitting down, in the sun, not standing up on a subway – squashed between masses of sweating humanity.

I love the cartoons, and of course,  sports....., but….now …….(he imitates a drum roll)  for my favorite part of the newspaper – the obituaries!

I check to see whether or not I’m in it.  If I’m not, that’s usually good news.

(sighs) You can always tell when you've gotten older, you start reading the obituaries.  I started back in my notice things like people who died who are as old as your parents....then someone who is just a few years older than you are......and then, horror of horrors!.....someone who is exactly the same age!

(Not laughing as much)  And then you see you went to the same school together......a very long time ago.....

        (Holds the paper up, looks at the picture)

And look at the picture.......if it's from years ago, that's nice, that means the family understood the person was still young inside, no matter what tricks the body had played........but often the picture is of the older person.....and all the older photos look alike......just like all the baby pictures.....generic....

.....the same....generic....until you notice the name.........not one you it's ok, until you connect the dots......the name is the married name.....further in the paragraphs is......the woman's maiden name i........the one you knew her by....when you were young...when you loved her..  when you loved for the first time.......almost forgotten in the mists of the years.....but now it's all back......she had a full life after you......she left behind children and grandchildren by another man....the man who stole her from you....the man you thought ....../was a friend.....

         (He turns to leave, stops, rips up the paper, looks back)

Maybe I'll just stick with the comics........

         ( try and find a new section)

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Thanks for supporting the theater - and those who write for it!

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8