Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1223 Movement (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 20, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1223 Movement (for Caregivers Anonymous)  by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 20, 2017   

                                             (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                                    a monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                     (c) all rights reserved (c) 2017

              (The woman is older, but not ancient yet, 50s, 60s, tired.  She comes forward and takes the wheelchair)

It's a living nightmare.  Even though I spoke with them, when I got to the house, the newspaper is still outside.  And the curtains haven't been opened.

I call out and there is no answer.  No movement at all.  I take a deep breath.  Okay, they sounded tired, but at that age, they always sound tired.

So I unlock the front door.....I call again, still no answer.  Another deep breath.  Let it out slow, like they teach in yoga and in therapy and in all the advice TV shows that I don't have time for anymore.

Quiet.  No movement at all.

Dishes in the sink, but that could be from earlier.  Do I see lunch?  Or was that just breakfast?  When did we speak?  Was it before or after lunch?  I can't remember.  I feel memory loss is definitely contagious.

Going down the hall, quietly, yet calling out ....nothing.

The lights are off, curtain in the bedroom closed, too.

I turn the corner and look into the bedroom.

All is quiet.  .  Still in night clothes, never dressed today. No movement

This is the moment we all dread.  

I touch the body.  It's cold.  I take another deep breath.  

I sit on the bed for a moment, and say a prayer.

There is no more rush.

And then I go into the living room, and I sit down, and I read the newspaper.  All the way through. Every word, every article, even every ad!

Why?  Because in the last five years, I have not had time to read more than a page or two without interruption.  And once I call for 911 to let me know there is no chance for revival- which I already know - it gets hectic.  Crazy hectic.  And then all the tears will come, and then the details.  The thousands of details, none of which are prepared for - the will that needs updating, the trust never witnessed, the VA plot never finalized........all join the To Do list for the loved one who will never do again.

And then I get a bowl of ice cream, and put hot fudge on, with nuts and I sit and eat it slowly because it tastes so good.

     (She takes a deep breath)

And that is what happened today.  Except for......there was movement.  Alive, still alive.  I started to cry a little, but made sure they didn't see.

Like a nightmare that returns, not every night, but often enough that you recognize it as soon as the first views appear.  And it continues until....you see movement, and you realize it's just a nightmare.

       (Turns to go sit down, stops, looks back)

Only....it's during the day......

       (Blackout, end of scene, but not end of the nightmare)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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