Sunday, June 11, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1214 Lament of Lightning Lass by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 11, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1214 Lament of Lightning Lass by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 11, 2017  

                                             The Lament of Lightning Lass 
                                              a monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                     (c) all rights reserved (c) 2017

         (Beautiful.  The actress who enters is beautiful, very.  But her one fault is that she is in her 30s now, and she knows it, and she is very angry.)

I still have it!  I know I do.  I am still perfect!  I work out for seventy hours a week!  I run marathons! I take pilates!  I give blood!  I could have done this part!  I loved Lightning Lass from when I was a little girl!  I have been practicing her special electric moves for years!

          (She illustrates by taking a stance and aiming her forefinger at a distant object)

The way it's done is in the mind!  Lightning Lass was struck by lightning when she was only a baby, so she can funnel the energy of any storm anywhere in the world into lightning bolts that can...

ZZZZZZZAP! the enemy!

          (She wiggles and shakes as if electricity was surging through her.)

It's called acting!  And personality!  And talent and whatever you want to call it!  

          (Suddenly her shoulders slump and she shakes her head)

But they didn't want me.....they said I was......(sighs heavily)...TOO OLD!

And then I looked in the mirror, and there they were....two wrinkles!  I'm finished!  I am washed up like old jeans!

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, brightens up)

Maybe now they'll let me audition for......Granny Goose! 

(She walks off crumbling in a noisy way)


To Irene -thanks for the name of Lightning Lass!
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8