Sunday, September 16, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1674 The Proposal (for Celebrity) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 16, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1674 The Proposal (for Celebrity) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 16,  2018

This scene below will be part of CELEBRITY - other posts Day # 229,   281 here ,   364   , 1372, 1669., 1670, 1671, 1672, 1673
                                      The Proposal
                      (Not)A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © All rights reserved 2017


             (Monte - the agent - and his client -Marci- are discussing a new offer)

MARCI  - (Southern accent) What was that?  Did I hear you correctly?

MONTE-  You heard me.  It's legit.  And it's the best deal you'd be getting anywhere.
MARCI   -  (No accent)  Best deal?  You have to be kidding!  He wants to marry me!

MONTE  -  What happened to your accent?  I told you, it never stops - you gotta keep it up so that even when you dream, you dream in fried chicken!
MARCI  -  Sorry.  (Takes it over the top)  I ahm so sorry!

MONTE -  This is a serious offer.  And to be honest, I'm surprised.  After what you said about gays, I thought it was the end for the two of you.
MARCI  -  Maybe .....(Southern accent is now back)...maybe he liked what I said, maybe he might like a wife with some....gumption.

MONTE -  I like that!  You might have a point.  So what do you think?  Is this a yes?
MARCI  -  (Shaking her head)  I still can't believe this.

MONTE -  Honey, I know you've had plenty of propositions, but I'm sure you've had your share of proposals in the mix.....
MARCI  -   Sure I have.....But this is the first proposal of marriage that I ever got that was .....delivered by an agent.  There's something so very odd about it!

MONTE -  This is Hollywood, baby, nothing is normal here.  Take my word for that!
MARCI   -  Let me understand this....he wants to marry me, in public, big ceremony....

MONTE  -  You get a million from Parade just for the photos....
MARCI  -  And I don't have to sleep with him, just be.....on his arm....for the red carpet, and for interviews,....

MONTE -  And photos of your home.....and doing movies together.....big, expensive movies....and you love working together.....and you have adorable hobbies....
MARCI  -  Like sunbathing....and skiing in the show off our perfect bodies....

MONTE -  For the photos.....and the publicity....and.....Let's not forget the profitable potential of progeny....
MARCI  -  and if I choose to have a baby, that's extra......

MONTE -  You don't even need to use his sperm.....your boyfriend will like that part...but .it sets up for the ugly divorce and the possible loss of alimony and child support.....but we can have a separate contract for things are ....truly private....
MARCI -  It is a lot of money.....

MONTE -  That's what makes everything worthwhile!
MARCI   -  I don't know....

MONTE  -  What exactly is it that you don't know?
MARCI  -  My mother used to say, 'if it looks too good to be true, it usually isn't true'

MONTE -  Wait a minute, do you have the strange idea that this is gonna be easy?  I mean, you can play dumb in public, but you have to know  that even though this may look like a bed of roses - it's got plenty of can't go on a date with your buddy boy from back home unless it\s a double date, with your husband and his....assistant.  You can't hold hands or kiss, or do something like shop together anymore.....those days are over.....and you have watch everything you say and do....more even than when you were trying to get on this merry-go-round.  Now you're on, you gotta sit tight, cause it's very easy to fall off!
MARCI  -  And how long would my indentured servitude be needed?

MONTE  -  Until he's done with you.....

          (she turns away, still stunned)

MONTE - (Watching her)  You know, I don't think you appreciate how lucky you are.  You didn't have to do half the crap most girls have to do in this town!  You didn't have to fuck Harvey or get peed on by Terrance, or sit on Eleanor's lap!  No, you rode the pony and you got the brass ring!  And if you don't appreciate it, I know a bunch of other girls who will!MARCI  -  You do?  Where are they?  Do you have them lined up in the closet over there with a few of the closeted stars?  Do you think you're the only one who can talk to people and figure out what's going on? I am a very special commodity, Monte - a person who knows how to shut up! People who can keep their mouth's shut in this town are very few!

          (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

MARCI -  And I'll consider this offer.....that's all for now.  Consider.  And consider this, Mr. Camden.  I now know where there are a few bodies buried, so before you threaten me, maybe you'd better clean up under a few rocks of your own.

          (She exits as he watches her, then lights a cigarette and smiles)

MONTE -  It's good for her think she's learning......too bad education is so very expensive.....

          (End of scene)


First posted  Day # 1372 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 17, 2017   Revised
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


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