Friday, September 14, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1672 They Told Me I Should Go To Rehab (for Celebrity) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 14, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1672 They Told Me I Should Go To Rehab by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 14,  2018

This monologue below will be part of CELEBRITY - other posts Day # 229,   281here ,   364  ,1669, 1670 , 1671 and today, 1672

Warning - strong language

             They Told Me I Should Go to Rehab

                                                 by Janet S. Tiger
                            (c) all rights reserved  2018

              (In Monte's home, Monte takes a drink and passes it to Marci.)

MONTE -  Here, this is for you.  For starters.

MARCI -  I don't drink.

MONTE -  I don't care.  In this business, you need to know how to drink.  And drink a lot.

             (He hands her the drink again, and she reluctantly takes it, takes a small sip)

MONTE -  Now...take off your clothes.

MARCI -  What?

MONTE -  You heard me.

MARCI -  (Shakes her head)  Look, I figured if you were gonna do this, it would have been sooner.

MONTE -  Shut up and listen.

               (She goes to leave and he stands in front of her.)

MONTE -  You're right, I would've  done it sooner.  But I don't mix business with fucking.  That's because this business is too fucked up already.  When I tell you to do something, you do it.  If you don't want me looking at your body, I'll turn away.  But I've already seen you in a thong, so it's no big fucking deal.

              (She slowly and very defiantly removes her blouse and goes to take off her pants.)

MARCI-   Happy?

             (He looks her over like an animal)

MONTE -  I don't know why I put myself through this shit.  You got a good body, but I already knew that because if you didn't have a goddamn good body, I would never have taken you on, so here's what's going on - take that drink and spill it, rub it into your skin.

MARCI -  (Confused)  What?

MONTE -  Stupid.  You may not like to drink, and God knows, it's better if you don't.  But at some point in the next year or so, you will need to go to rehab, and this is the first step.

           (She just stares at him)

MONTE -  The trick is, when you get someplace, you need to already seem drunk.  People will assume you drink a lot, and from that point, you're in control.  Now, you can do that with some simple prep.  Like this.

           (He takes the drink and pours it onto her.  She jumps back)

MONTE -  Now take some of your drink and swish it around your mouth, and over your lips.  You have to smell drunk.

           (Now she obeys him and he nods, sniffs her)

MONTE -  You have to treat this as if it's any other acting job.  You need to study drunks.  I'll take you to a few bars, and you can have that halfwit boyfriend take you to some seedy ones, so you can observe the drunk in its natural habitat.

MARCI -  My mother was an alcoholic.  So, I won't have to study much.

MONTE -  Good, you won't have to study as much.

MARCI -  Amazing!

MONTE -  You want sympathy?  Go to a shrink.  I'm giving you training like you're gonna need to get through this.  How to slosh your drinks so you don't have to drink them.  How to take a whole bottle and go off by yourself and then pour it out.  And all this is so when you need a break and baby, after awhile, you will need a break!  So  you will get 'drunk' and you get to have a vacation!  In rehab.    You get to sleep, get facials, have your nails done, swim, get some rest.......ok, you gotta do some therapy, but just think of it as more acting class.

And you can go for a week, two, a month.......  Until you get out with a lot of good stories about the wonderful people you met and how you are now a better person.

MARCI -  (Bitter)  How I don't want to end up like mom.....

MONTE -  Very good!  I'm impressed!  .And to do it right, you need to be believable!  You need to know how to hide how much you're drinking, how to swallow a glass of are from the South, right?  And you swallow, and you throw up, and you stink of booze and everyone is SO worried about you, and you have your makeup perfectly smudged to look just out of it, but still beautiful.......Can you do that?   Did they teach you that in Girl Scouts?

MARCI - Whatever you think you can get me to do, I won't do drugs.

MONTE -  Not asking for that, just the booze.....  Speaking of which, I am going to get more now.

           (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

MONTE -  And by the way, I knew your mother was a drunk.

           (She takes the glass and throws it at him, he ducks and smiles)

MONTE -  Good!  Keep practicing!  You don't want to actually hit anything, but you want it close....

           (She goes to throw another glass and this will smash against a room in a bar.  Change of scene)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


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