first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 four year Feb. 14, 2017- today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
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If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2018
(Older man comes out, slowly, but happily. He has a walker, which he opens to remove a cigar, which he lights and takes a big puff, and then he brings out a drink, which he lifts up)
Salud!
(Takes a big swig)
And that my friends is the secret you were asking about! Yes, I am that old guy they are always talking about. How did I get so happy?
Easy My doctor! You see, a few years ago when I was 90, I was miserable. Depressed. Felt awful! Went to my doctor, a nice young man of 63, and he sent me to a shrink. They gave me meds that made me feel like I was underwater! Nope, I wasn't depressed anymore, because I had no feelings at all!
And all the doctors he sent me to told me I shouldn't complain, that I was still walking and I could drive my little motorized scooter, and live by myself - I should be ...love this word...grateful! Grateful to be miserable!
Well, after hearing that a few tmes, I made a decision that has changed my life for the better - no more doctors!
That's right, and when I told my doctor my plan, he just stared.
You see, I told him I was no longer going to worry about what I ate. And I don't. If I want a hot dog at 3 in the morning, I have a hot dog. And if I want a drink at 10 am- pour it! And if I want to stay in my pjs all day - that's what I'm gonna do! And I started smoking.....didn't like cigarettes, but a good cigar....aahhhh!
(Takes another puff)
And when I explained my plans about the drinking and smoking and eating what I damned pleased, you know what he said? He said.....but if you do this, you're gonna die!
And I said....that's the plan!
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
What does he say now? Nine years later? Not much - he died last year!
(Leaves laughing - but not an exit yet!)
tigerteam1@gmail.com all rights reserved
Salud!
(Takes a big swig)
And that my friends is the secret you were asking about! Yes, I am that old guy they are always talking about. How did I get so happy?
Easy My doctor! You see, a few years ago when I was 90, I was miserable. Depressed. Felt awful! Went to my doctor, a nice young man of 63, and he sent me to a shrink. They gave me meds that made me feel like I was underwater! Nope, I wasn't depressed anymore, because I had no feelings at all!
And all the doctors he sent me to told me I shouldn't complain, that I was still walking and I could drive my little motorized scooter, and live by myself - I should be ...love this word...grateful! Grateful to be miserable!
Well, after hearing that a few tmes, I made a decision that has changed my life for the better - no more doctors!
That's right, and when I told my doctor my plan, he just stared.
You see, I told him I was no longer going to worry about what I ate. And I don't. If I want a hot dog at 3 in the morning, I have a hot dog. And if I want a drink at 10 am- pour it! And if I want to stay in my pjs all day - that's what I'm gonna do! And I started smoking.....didn't like cigarettes, but a good cigar....aahhhh!
(Takes another puff)
And when I explained my plans about the drinking and smoking and eating what I damned pleased, you know what he said? He said.....but if you do this, you're gonna die!
And I said....that's the plan!
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
What does he say now? Nine years later? Not much - he died last year!
(Leaves laughing - but not an exit yet!)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
1 comment:
Love this guy!
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