Saturday, June 23, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1590 All About Me! by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 24, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1590 All About Me! by Janet S. Tiger (c) June  24, 2018    
                                       All About Me!
                                A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c)  2018   all rights reserved      

          (An actress emerges with some boxes, sets them down, smiles)

I am here to make an announcement - an announcement of a stupendous nature.

I hereby declare the existence of a brand new museum ......The Museum of....Me.

That's the working title of course.... I am considering using my name, but that might sound unusual - and I want to go with a universal appeal.

You see this stuff....

          (Holds up a box)

It is filled!

Photos, and letters from the past, and things I wrote, and places I went and collected souvenirs.  Even receipts from things I have purchased over the years!

And in this box.....

         (Opens and brings out clothing)

I have part of my 'couture collection' -

         (Whirls the clothes around)

Why should they be saving old clothes from people who have been dead for years?  I heard they have dresses from the first Martha that's some old clothing!  Well I have old clothing that is considerably newer - why can't I have my own museum?  There is no reason whatsover!

Everyone who calls me a  'hoarder'  well, they can now call me.....a 'collector' !

Because when you get down to it, what is the difference?

Do you really want to read what Thomas Jefferson wrote?  Most of it was very boring!  Now I can't say mine isn't as boring, but hey, I use curse words and modern language!  You can actually understand what I have here in my dozens of journals!

And there's lots more!  Just like in those fancy pants museums, I have contact with rich, famous people!  I have an autograph from.....

       (Holds up a napkin)

Pia Zadora!  Made out to my name!  (Proud)  My friend got it for me.....and I can honestly say it could very well be....the centerpiece of this whole collection!

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

So now you, too, can become a modern anthropologist!  Learn all about me.....from my very own museum.......what I eat for and a bagel and an apple! 

        (Opens a box, shows photos of the items)

Where I went to school......(shows a diploma) journals of what I do EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!

         (Holds a book and waves it)

And the best part is......the collection is growing, and you can buy some of these valuable items, right now!  Just call that number you see on the screen...or you can  go online...........for a part of history!  For a little bit of ....ME!

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And I have a 100% guarantee - everything for me, or by me.....or about me!'s all about ME!

         (Exits to a new 'me' generation)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8