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How to Curry Peace
(for Senior Channel)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The chef's hat is tilted at a perfect angle, the man wearing it is immaculate and smiling broadly as he comes onstage waving at the crowd. He is holding a large bag stuffed with items, has a strong Indian accent)
Oh, hello, everyone, hello! Hello to everyone on this Senior Channel! I am so happy to be here! For those who do not know me, I am Raja Singh, the Indian King .....of Curry, as many of you know me from my internationally syndicated show about food from India!
(The crowd cheers, he smiles and acknowledges them)
Oh, thank you, thank you! You are so kind! I am so very excited to come and bring some of my food, and ideas......and a joke, I always bring a joke about food......what did the potato say when it answered the phone?
(He puts his hand to his ear)
Aaloo?
Get it? In Hindi, the word for potato is 'aaloo'! Very funny! Maybe it helps to know Hindi....but if you watch my show, I have many funny jokes about food, and lots of different foods, but there is an important reason I am called....the King of Curry!
(He takes items out of the bag and sets them on a table, arranging as he speaks)
Curry is an amazing food. It is different every time......like people. Each curry has its own flavor, its own story......its own life. You can make curry out of many different foods, foods that you may think do not go together well. That is what I teach on my show.......Now, I have been watching your channel and have seen that many people have ideas about peace, one lady wants to use iphones, my opinion, they do not taste good! Another man has an item from the bathroom - that was a little scary. But here is my idea.....
(He holds up an onion and an orange)
Do you see these two foods? They can be terrible enemies! Look.....
(He bashes the onion and orange together)
(Voice of orange) You smell bad!
(Voice of onion) You are loud color, you want everyone to look at you!
(He smashes them together again)
(Orange) You are flaky!
(Onion) When you mold, you are green and powdery!
(He really starts to get into it)
(Orange) You took my parking space!
(Onion) Your car is too big, makes me cough!
(He gets more violent)
(Orange) You look at my daughter and ask her out on date! I will never let her go out with you!
(Onion) Your daughter is as stuck up as you are!
(He hits them, sees they are dripping, stops)
Do you see how this happens between foods, just like people......but there is a solution, and I now will show you my plan ......
(He holds up a sealed traveling bowl, removes the lid)
This, my friends......is my...... curry of peace!
(He smells it, smiles)
So delicious! But it needs something......let me try.....
(He drips in some orange, tastes it with a large spoon)
Oh, my, that is much better! And now a tiny bit of.....
(He drops in a bit of the onion juice)
And we stir the former enemies together.....
(He lifts the spoon to taste)
You can see, they are not fighting now! MMMMMM! And they are so delicious together! The other people.....the friends, the in-laws.......I mean the other flavors, the chicken, the coconut, the masala....all these blend so that the orange and the onion do not have to fight anymore, they are happy.....
(He holds the onion and orange close, makes a kissing sound)
And that is how it can be done!
(He stirs, takes another big spoonful)
That is just what it needed! Then everyone sits together, and no need to fight when it tastes so good!
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)
And that is how to curry flavor......and how to curry....... peace......
(He exits, waving his hat. The beginning of a delicious future.)
Oh, hello, everyone, hello! Hello to everyone on this Senior Channel! I am so happy to be here! For those who do not know me, I am Raja Singh, the Indian King .....of Curry, as many of you know me from my internationally syndicated show about food from India!
(The crowd cheers, he smiles and acknowledges them)
Oh, thank you, thank you! You are so kind! I am so very excited to come and bring some of my food, and ideas......and a joke, I always bring a joke about food......what did the potato say when it answered the phone?
(He puts his hand to his ear)
Aaloo?
Get it? In Hindi, the word for potato is 'aaloo'! Very funny! Maybe it helps to know Hindi....but if you watch my show, I have many funny jokes about food, and lots of different foods, but there is an important reason I am called....the King of Curry!
(He takes items out of the bag and sets them on a table, arranging as he speaks)
Curry is an amazing food. It is different every time......like people. Each curry has its own flavor, its own story......its own life. You can make curry out of many different foods, foods that you may think do not go together well. That is what I teach on my show.......Now, I have been watching your channel and have seen that many people have ideas about peace, one lady wants to use iphones, my opinion, they do not taste good! Another man has an item from the bathroom - that was a little scary. But here is my idea.....
(He holds up an onion and an orange)
Do you see these two foods? They can be terrible enemies! Look.....
(He bashes the onion and orange together)
(Voice of orange) You smell bad!
(Voice of onion) You are loud color, you want everyone to look at you!
(He smashes them together again)
(Orange) You are flaky!
(Onion) When you mold, you are green and powdery!
(He really starts to get into it)
(Orange) You took my parking space!
(Onion) Your car is too big, makes me cough!
(He gets more violent)
(Orange) You look at my daughter and ask her out on date! I will never let her go out with you!
(Onion) Your daughter is as stuck up as you are!
(He hits them, sees they are dripping, stops)
Do you see how this happens between foods, just like people......but there is a solution, and I now will show you my plan ......
(He holds up a sealed traveling bowl, removes the lid)
This, my friends......is my...... curry of peace!
(He smells it, smiles)
So delicious! But it needs something......let me try.....
(He drips in some orange, tastes it with a large spoon)
Oh, my, that is much better! And now a tiny bit of.....
(He drops in a bit of the onion juice)
And we stir the former enemies together.....
(He lifts the spoon to taste)
You can see, they are not fighting now! MMMMMM! And they are so delicious together! The other people.....the friends, the in-laws.......I mean the other flavors, the chicken, the coconut, the masala....all these blend so that the orange and the onion do not have to fight anymore, they are happy.....
(He holds the onion and orange close, makes a kissing sound)
And that is how it can be done!
(He stirs, takes another big spoonful)
That is just what it needed! Then everyone sits together, and no need to fight when it tastes so good!
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)
And that is how to curry flavor......and how to curry....... peace......
(He exits, waving his hat. The beginning of a delicious future.)
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First posted Day #303 by Janet S. Tiger How to Curry Peace Dec. 12, 2014
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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