Saturday, November 25, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1380 Missed by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 25, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1320!
Get  more great award-winning monologues -
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 1380 Missed by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 25, 2017      

                                   A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © All rights reserved 2017

I missed it!  The first monologue I missed!  Well, maybe the...second?  I can't remember!  Mist.  The same word...... In my brain....because it's my birthday and every one wants to wish me a happy instead, I missed....please forgive!  I will do better tomorrow!

For those of you who would like to see what I wrote about my birthday....and birthday twins..(I have two - my sister and a dear friend)...please read below-

Monologue Mania Day #652 Birthday Twins (revised) by Janet S. Tiger  Nov. 25, 2015

               Happy Birthday to my birthday twins - relative and otherwise!
Have a great day, year - and many more - with good health and all things good.

                                        originally from

Mar. 29, 2014   Birthday Twins    Day # 45    Monologue Mania 

                        Birthday Twins (c)
(yet another for the Senior Channel)
                                        Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2014  all rights reserved 

(A man rolls onto the stage in a wheelchair.  He is not fast, but steady.  He faces the audience and takes a party whistle blower and blows it - twice.)

Thank you for letting me come onto the Senior Channel show, Senior Moments, because, everyone, today is a special day........ today is my birthday!

            (He blows the blower again)

The big 0ne- oh.....oh!

That's right......
100 years!  

            (He blows again)

When I was younger – in my fifties! – anyone who got to be a hundred was very special - they were on TV, and it was a big deal.  Now, nothing.  We are average – in fact, there was something in the paper that said….hold on, let me find it….

            (He searches in his lap, pulls out a newspaper, reads.)

Says right here that, ‘100…is the new….60!’

            (He laughs loudly)

Well, that’s a pile!

But not the point!  Today is special not just because it’s my birthday, but because I have a birthday twin…….and we are going to call him and tell him ‘Happy Birthday’ on television!


            (He now pulls a cell phone from his lap and pushes one button.)

They fixed it that all I have to do is push once…..and these days, that’s about all I can do…………if you know what I mean….  Hey, Lester, it’s me, Patrick, yeah, Happy Birthday!  I got everyone in TV-land here to sing to you…….

             (Holds the phone up, indicates the audience is to sing)

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to me, HappyBirthday dear Lester and Patrick, Happy Birthday to us!

Yeah, I’ll call you later, old buddy…..have a great day!

            (He closes the phone)

No, Lester is not the same age, just the same day!  That’s why we’re birthday twins –but he’s just a young pup…he’s only 98!

 Lester and I grew up on the same street – but we are blood brothers now.  I married his sister, may she rest in peace, and had four beautiful children with her, so, it may be a little backwards, but we are related by blood!

Now, my birthday used to be…. April first…that’s right April Fool’s Day.  Everyone always had fun with that- I was the ‘April Fool.’

But, yes, you heard me, it ‘used to be’ my birthday.  Betcha didn’t know you could switch, didja?

             (Takes a deep breath)

As the story goes, my father was killed in the Great War – World War I.  My mother remarried a musician – he was a little crazy, but he adopted me and was a generally decent stepfather.  He didn’t beat us, he was a nice guy overall, when he was around…..

After my mother died, he died right away, like he had to go visit her again….and I got to go through all the papers.  Now that… they say now on those silly TV shows…. is a fun job…(spits it out, loud)…NOT!

Especially since I found out that, not only was he not my father, which I already knew, but my mother was not my mother – she had adopted me, on April 1st…..which had become my birthday.

Let me tell you, it’s like being in a book, or a movie, where the main character wakes up and finds out that everything was a dream!

And the worst part was, I was sixty, and even if I had had the energy to go out and look for my real parents – which I didn’t – because finding this out, made 60 into the new 100.

I was stunned.  What else was a lie?

Could I trust anyone?

And then Lester came to visit and said to me – ‘doesn’t matter who your parents are, all that matters, is who YOU are.'

Lester never talked a lot, I was the one who did the talking, but when he spoke, it usually made sense.

So I stopped worrying about looking for the past.  Saved me a lot of time.

But I did do one thing – I petitioned the court to change my birthday – which I had always hated anyways.  People don’t know you can do that once – as long as there was an adoption, and there is no fraud involved.

            (Laughs, a little bitterly)

At least, no fraud on my part.

So……I switched the day legally….to March 30th……Lester’s birthday.  So we are not only blood brothers, but birthday twins.

            (He lifts his arms)

Happy Birthday to us, Lester! 

            (He turns to the side)

At 100, I know my time is up!  And I don’t need any help from you young people!  I can do this myself!

    (He turns to wheel off….looks back)

Almost forgot…not a surprise at this age, just an excuse……this morning I got an amazing phone call.  You see, we married young, Lester’s sister and I, and had our first child when we were just 20….first grandchild at 41, great grandchild at 62….great-great grandchild at 81 – and last night, a new baby was born….my first…..

            (Counts on his fingers)

Great….great…..GREAT….that’s three greats!...grandchild……

Just after midnight……so now, we have another birthday twin, Lester…..

Happy Birthday to us all!

            (He rolls off)

And many more!

            (Not the end for awhile.)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

No comments: