Thursday, November 9, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1364 Personal Geographics by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 9 , 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1364 Personal Geographics by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 9 , 2017  

Alert - below is not really a monologue, but the musings of the person writing the monologues - yes, me.  Thank you for reading!

                                                 Personal Geographics
                                     (Almost)  A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © All rights reserved 2017

          (Yes, there is no actor, this is me again.  I enter holding a box of National Geographics)

One of the most difficult things to throw out when you're a hoarder is something that nobody else can understand why you want to keep it. I mean people understand why you want to keep old cards from people who are no longer alive and pictures that your children made when they were little. Maybe not all of them but that's the problem with the hoarder we want them all.

But the item that is saved but nobody understands is the amazing and beautiful and so very hard to throw out .....National Geographic magazines!

         (Holds up one of them)

Look how beautiful the covers are!  And the stories!  And the photos!  I never read them, I have no time, but I can admire the sheer beauty just like I do the sunsets everyday - gone in a few moments when the sun goes down, gone when the storage box closes......

         (Riffles through a copy)

After you read them, there's no real reason to keep is not bad, but they come every month, then suddenly you have a year's worth, and two, and a friend gives you a box because they are moving, and you get more at the library just can't resist free!  And after you have a lot, you realize you should weed through and only keep the good ones.....but how?  They are all good!.....But you have to get rid of some.... because they do attract bugs.  and boy, even dry, they weigh an awful lot! The box with just National Geographics can weigh more than a box of books because the magazine paper is thick and glossy .....and you have to get rid of some because you have to move....but somehow, there is always a box that sneaks in......because as long as you are keeping your books, you HAVE to keep some of the Nationals!

          (Touches the pages lovingly)

......and the magazines pack together tightly whereas books can be a little looser and in books, the pages certainly are not laminated  so if you have to pick which box is heavier in a contest I'd say National Geographic will always weigh more.

So why are they so hard to throw out? What is the incredible reason? I found a box while going through other things and I took a look and made a fast decision to keep half of them. These decisions were not based on rational thought. But more along the lines of.... oh I know someone who loves France so they would love this article about France in an issue of National Geographic from 30 years ago..... it's a classic!

 And then another issue with a fascinating story about Australia. I have a friend in Australia now that I met online playing Words with Friends. She has invited me to visit and even though I have been warned by my friends and family you never know who you meet online I honestly don't believe this woman is a mass murderer sucking me In to her web of death.  At least the nice photos on her Facebook page don't give that impression.

But on the off-chance that one day I will actually scrape up the thousands of dollars to go to Australia and somehow make the time ---while taking care of several people-  to have two weeks to actually go to Australia I'm absolutely positive that she would love an ancient copy of National Geographic with an article about a section of Australia where she does not live as my special house gift to her.

The list goes on. A friend loves animals so I have a magazine article from National Geographic with a captivating story about dogs- or is it cats ?

I did actually give away a couple to my community room's library and I hope someone enjoys them.

The issue here is...... why do I have to save them? Sometimes in a fit of rational thought -which is rare but sometimes it happens - sometimes I actually throw things out without looking at them.

Newspaper articles from the past because I have boxes and boxes of them and even though I write one monologue a day and I used to be worried about running out of things to write about, my observation over these last few years is that the opposite has happened- it's not that I don't have enough to write about - it's that I don't have enough time to write!

And so the magazines that I have saved have become yet another little strange quirk. Okay, maybe not so little.  And now, after all this musing,  I don't know, can you call this a monologue? Would someone actually get up on stage and perform this? I doubt it. But just like the need to save National Geographic magazines is strange, my thoughts and dreams are strange and coated with a material that makes them glossy and shiny and I hope interesting to look at in some very odd way over time.

       (I turn to leave, stop, look back, then take one of the National Geographics and start reading.  Never the end of fascinating stories in National Geographic...and by the way - if anyone wants some old copies PLEASE CONTACT ME!)

I was going to put in some background about National Geographic's wonderful history - it has been published continuously since 1888 - that's a lot of boxes!  click here for more

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Miriam said...

I enjoyed reading this. A lot. For many reasons.

I used to never miss an episode of Hoarders on TV. I’m fascinated by hoarders, to the extent that I actually worked to help a friend who is a hoarder. I put in many hours with her at her home and at her storage locker. But that’s a story of its own!

I’m also almost the opposite of a hoader. I aspire to life a minimalist lifestyle, and I’m about 90% there. I love empty floor space! And since my apartment is only 800 sq ft in size, it’s been a challenge. I like contemporary furniture with clean lines, and with very few ‘things’ on them. It sounds cold, but I don’t think it is. There is a lot of art, and colour.

There was a show on TV some years ago with a fellow who helped people declutter. I remember one of his solutions was this. In one case a woman had her late grandmother’ Huge collection of Reader’s Digest Condensed Books. She loved her grandmother so much, that although she wasn’t interested in reading the books, and they collected a lot of dust, she couldn’t get herself to let them go. So he got her to pick out five of them, and he arranged them nicely and took a picture of the group of the. Then he framed the picture. She hung it and was then able to get rid of them.

Gotta go. It’s the middle of the night, and I need to go back to sleep. Excellent monologue! And yes, to my mind it is a monologue!