Monday, September 4, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1299 The Trouble With Adults by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 4, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day # 1299 The Trouble With Adults by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 4, 2017 

                                        The Trouble With Adults    
                                               by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2017 all rights reserved     

           (Teenager enters on her - what else? - cell phone.  She connects to her earpiece and is shaking her head)

Kendall?  I have to tell you this story!  It was crazy!  You know how adults are always complaining about us, well,  I was in the jacuzzi and there were these crazy old old?  Oh, God, way older than my mom, they musta been like fifty or sixty!  Who can tell how old they are when they get that old, you know?  They're just like, old. Hey are you there?  I can't hear you!  My parents just switched to this new company to save a few bucks and the service is really bad!  I only have two bars!  And my Instagram takes forever to load, but hey, what can I do?  I was working so I could save money and get my own phone and my own account, but then the McDonalds got these new kiosks and cut my hours down way low, like, to zero, and one of the guys said next year, they're gettin' robots!

Wow, can't get a break, no-how!  But anyhow, these old ladies were complaining ....yeah, old people are always complaining about something!  And they don't even realize how unimportant their stuff is, I mean, who cares if they get wrinkles?  They have so many already, who's gonna notice a few more....but anyhow, so they're bitchin' about forgetting stuff, and one of them turned to me and asked me if I understood what they were talkin' about and I said that everybody forgets stuff, like when I take a test, I coulda studied all night, as soon as that test is in front of me, I forget everything!

So they start laughing, I mean really hard, and one says to the other how if they were wearing pants, she'd a wet them already!  And now they really start laughing, and the other one is like, maybe WE should wear diapers in here, like the babies do!  And they laugh so hard, I think they're gonna, well, explode!  So I guess I looked funny, and one of them says to me, 'honey, don't worry, we only pee in the pool.....and then I got out, and I left them in there and I think they were peeing!  Can you believe it?  I mean, what's this world coming to?

          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, shakes head)

Adults - you just never know what they're gonna do!

         (She exits, still horrified by the adult world)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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