first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 500!
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How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day #556 Opening Scene from Trich or Treat by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 22, 2015
I believe this could be one - or possibly two - monologues, am working on figuring out how to do this. Any suggestions?
Opening Scene from Trich or Treat
(Not) A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2015 tigerteam1@gmail.com
TRICH OR TREAT (no, that’s spelled right – it’s short for tricholotomania)
(Girl comes onstage. This is Christina. She is in her teens - wearing a pretty scarf and big glasses.There is a loud rumbling outside. It finally stops.)
CHRISTINA - Why do we have to live close to the train? I can't stand this…especially today! This constant..……
(As we see her start to curse, the rumbling starts again, drowning out the epithets, as the rumbling subsides, so do the curses, as a woman enters the room. This is SANDY, Christina's mother, and to put it mildly, she is very dramatic, wearing a very large hat - in fact everything about her is large.)
SANDY - (Over the top British accent) My deah, you know how I detest language like that!
CHRISTINA - Where did I learn it from, Mom?
SANDY - From you fahther, I'm sure, certainly not from these delicate lips...
CHRISTINA - I don't think I can handle the Duchess this morning....
SANDY - (Deep-fried Southern accent now) Well, dahlin', how about a little bit o' Tennessee - or don't you want to depend on the kindness of relatives?
CHRISTINA - Not today! Have you forgotten what today is?
SANDY - Of course not! (She has) It's....
CHRISTINA- (Not surprised) Yes?
SANDY - You're not going to help me, are you?
CHRISTINA - (Torn, finally let's up) It's picture day!
SANDY - (As Christina says it) ...picture day! Of course I remembered!
(Girl comes onstage. This is Christina. She is in her teens - wearing a pretty scarf and big glasses.There is a loud rumbling outside. It finally stops.)
CHRISTINA - Why do we have to live close to the train? I can't stand this…especially today! This constant..……
(As we see her start to curse, the rumbling starts again, drowning out the epithets, as the rumbling subsides, so do the curses, as a woman enters the room. This is SANDY, Christina's mother, and to put it mildly, she is very dramatic, wearing a very large hat - in fact everything about her is large.)
SANDY - (Over the top British accent) My deah, you know how I detest language like that!
CHRISTINA - Where did I learn it from, Mom?
SANDY - From you fahther, I'm sure, certainly not from these delicate lips...
CHRISTINA - I don't think I can handle the Duchess this morning....
SANDY - (Deep-fried Southern accent now) Well, dahlin', how about a little bit o' Tennessee - or don't you want to depend on the kindness of relatives?
CHRISTINA - Not today! Have you forgotten what today is?
SANDY - Of course not! (She has) It's....
CHRISTINA- (Not surprised) Yes?
SANDY - You're not going to help me, are you?
CHRISTINA - (Torn, finally let's up) It's picture day!
SANDY - (As Christina says it) ...picture day! Of course I remembered!
CHRISTINA- Yes, right.....
SANDY - I did! Maybe I didn't.....
CHRISTINA - (Under her breath) You can remember every stupid line of every stupid commercial but you can't remember anything for me......
SANDY - Do you really believe that?
CHRISTINA- Only because it's true. Tell me, when do I have to go to the dentist to have my braces adjusted?
SANDY - Oh, that's easy.......
CHRISTINA - Don't look at the calendar!
SANDY - (A little embarrassed) I can't remember everything!
CHRISTINA - But you can recite every single word from that stupid Aunt Edna commercial..
SANDY - (Brightens up remembering) But that's because I was amazing! (She illustrates, very dramatic) If I can’t have some of Aunt Edna Edelstein’s Special Chocolate Easter Bunny
Delight - with its creamy smooth chocolate that melts in your mouth
like…mmmmmmm (very dramatic) then
life…is not worth living!
(She stands on a chair as if she is
about to throw herself off a bridge, and Christina
puts out a hand to pull her mother back)
CHRISTINA –
(Man’s voice) I got these for you,
dear……
(Hands her a box of cereal)
SANDY - (Surprised)
Aunt Edna Edelstein’s Special Chocolate Easter Bunny Delights…you remembered...
(Takes a huge simulated bite)
SANDY - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Life is beautiful, as long as you have Aunt Edna’s….(She chews through the rest of the name)
CHRISTINA - (Imitates her mother) Auntie Edna Edelstein's Special Chocolate Easter Bunny Farts....made especially for you......
SANDY - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Life is beautiful, as long as you have Aunt Edna’s….(She chews through the rest of the name)
SANDY - Don’t make fun of that commercial! It’s kept us going for 10 years!
CHRISTINA
- Except for that suicide scare…
SANDY - That was….awful…awfully good for business!
CHRISTINA
- That’s horrible!
SANDY - Well, it was!
CHRISTINA
- That poor girl almost killed herself
with an empty box of Easter Bunny’s in
her arms!
SANDY - Luckily she didn’t,
CHRISTINA
- But that Mayor’s council made a big
fuss that the ad was encouraging suicides…
SANDY – But
the Edelsteins argued it was just a funny commercial – and they started that anti-suicide campaign…that is still
running, may I add, because they
realized that when people saw the anti-suicide
ads and thought of getting our candy – sales skyrocketed!
CHRISTINA
- And you are the spokesperson….
SANDY - (Big, to the audience) Life is
beautiful…don’t throw it away! If
worrying about something chocolate
is making you think of killing yourself, call now for help……Do any of your friends know it’s your mother who does
the commercial?
CHRISTINA
- (Horrified) I hope not!
…Look, I have to get going…
SANDY – Wait a
minute….if you’re having the yearbook picture taken today, let me look at you!
Christina pulls away.)
CHRISTINA –
I’m fine….
SANDY - Why are you wearing those silly glasses, and
that scarf! Oh, my God, was I supposed to meet you for a haircut? (Thinking)
Wait, didn’t we do that before school
started?
CHRISTINA
- Yes, Mom, that was six weeks ago…
SANDY – I
can’t believe you’re in high school!
You’ll be graduating before you know it…
CHRISTINA - Not soon enough…
SANDY - (Hearing this) Is something wrong? Did I miss something?
CHRISTINA –
No, Mom, everything’s fine…
SANDY – It’s
all these auditions for the Spring catalogs and commercials, I’ve been so busy!
Have they been bullying you?
(Horrified) I saw something on 60
minutes about texting naked
pictures…you’re not…
CHRISTINA
- Mom!
SANDY - Good…so let’s get your hair ready…
CHRISTINA
- My hair is fine…
SANDY – But
with that scarf you look like you’re going through chemotherapy!
(She reaches out to remove the scarf and Christina bats her hand away, almost violently)
(She reaches out to remove the scarf and Christina bats her hand away, almost violently)
CHRISTINA – (Screams) I told you to LEAVE ME ALONE!
(Her
mother is stunned, and as the lights go down, Christina grabs her things and
runs to exit, leaving her mother watching her exit. Blackout)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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