Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #553 The Greater Goo (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 19, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day #553 The Greater Goo (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger  Aug. 19, 2015

      Because my dear husband is dealing with visual issues, I've become acquainted with the Braille Institute, and their fantastic program where people with limited vision can listen online - and with machines -to all types of books, magazines and newspapers.  My goal will be to - at the start - read my monologues and figure out how to post them here so less sighted actors - and others- will be able to hear these monologues. If anyone wants to help (read, act, show me how to post an audio), please let me know via the comment or email - thanks!

                                The Greater Goo
                                                  (for the Senior Channel) 
                                A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved  2015                                                                           

            (The actor who bounces out is filled with enthusiasm and excitement!!!! And is carrying a big bag which is set down on the side.  Very excited!  Full of excitement!)

Helllloooooo!  I am here to show you, my dearest friends in Senior Channel land, I repeat, I am here to show you the newest, most amazing invention in the entire world!  No, let me be more accurate - in the entire universe!

You've heard of the greatest good, and you've heard of the greatest God.....but let me introduce you to .......

        (Opens the bag and brings out a container, from which is removed .....)

The Greatest Goo!

       (Holds up a big pile

This stuff is miraculous!  You can squeeze it!

       (Gives it a giant squeeze)

You can play with it!

        (Tosses it back and forth hand to hand)

And here's the best part, according to a NATIONAL STUDY that I just made up.......Goo will strengthen your muscles, improve your coordination!  Help you play with your grandchildren!  Improve your sex life! Enable you to lose weight!  Restore your memory!  And...
The Greatest Goo is even edible!

        (He takes a bite and swallows it)

Mmmmm!  Even better with some chocolate syrup, this goo will enable you to live longer, make more money, and, dare I say, yes, I dare!  It will help develop psychic abilities!

I've been using The Greatest Goo for months and I am now able to predict.....that you are smart enough to buy this so you, too, can be smarter, stronger, thinner, richer!

Only $9.99 for a big pile of goo!  Enough to last for months!  (Loud) BUT WAIT.....there's more! if you call RIGHT NOW!  I will throw in a second container ABSOLUTELY FREE!  (Whispers)  Except you pay the shipping, handling and for my next vacation to Hawaii)

So don't wait!  Get the Greatest Goo NOW!  Before it's gone, before your neighbors get it, before you forget about this commercial - although it will be running on every show you see for the next two years! - before the election, before the resurrection!  CALL NOW!

      (He lifts the goo high in the air and jumps! What excitement still!)

Are you calling?  Great!  Because if everything I've offered you isn't enough, I will throw in this amazing and beautiful........

      (He runs to the side and hauls out a box, pulling out a...)


      (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Remember, CALL NOW!  Because getting the Greatest for the greatest Good!  My Good!

      (He exits......thank goo!)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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