first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
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Monologue Mania Day #539 A Real Bargain by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 5, 2015
A Real Bargain
A Real Bargain
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The woman comes out and is waiting, tapping her foot. She holds a book in her hand, keeps rubbing the book)
Okay, I know I haven't been to church in years, but God, you are supposed to be all seeing, so you must have seen me roaming around. I haven't been hiding, you know. I do talk to you from time to time. I guess, well, maybe I do only talk to you when things are bad......like now.....boy, do I hate waiting for news like this!
How long will it take? I mean they told me it would be a few hours, and it would depend on how the whole operation went, but, this is so tough! I mean.....can't they give some kind of an update?
(She feels something and takes her phone out of her pocket)
Oh, I guess they have some kind of notice.......and it says......the surgery is almost complete, he'll be in post-op in fifteen minutes......oh, boy, I'm telling you God, if everything is OK, and there's no complications, and no problems, I swear I will never complain again! Not about anything! I won't complain about washing his clothes, or changing bandages, or shopping, or even....I won't even complain about washing the dishes! I mean......even if he leaves the glasses on the couch and there's a spill....even if the fork falls on the floor and I step on it!
I really want everything to be OK! I know what's important! I am so sorry about all the times I've bitched and moaned about things that really don't matter!
(She drops to her knees, holds the book up)
I swear on this Bible! I swear on everything that means everything! I will never complain! Ever! Again!
(She sinks down, puts the book on the floor and cries....there is a sound, she looks over, gets up slowly and walks to the door)
Yes?
(She listens and starts smiling, throws her head back)
Thank you! Oh, thank you! I'll be there in a minute.....
(She comes back to get the book, a little shaken)
Everything went perfectly! He's in post-op, and the doctor said everything was clear, and smooth and he should make a complete recovery! Oh, thank you, God!
(She goes to pick up the Bible)
Of course, I hope you understand that sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment......promises that are hard to keep.....like not complaining about the dishes...... I mean, I once counted, and there are a lot of dishes not to complain about.....like maybe 45 a day, and that times a year is.......(thinking) ...I know I did the math once....it was a hell of a lot of dishes.....ooh, sorry about that.....an awful lot of dishes......like 20,000 a year, and in 50 years of marriage, that was like, millions! So, please forgive me......if I go back a little on the bargain.......but I'll do my best, I swear I will......
(She turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Now washing the clothes......that's something to complain about......
(She waves the Bible at the ceiling and exits......a bargain at twice the complaints)
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(The woman comes out and is waiting, tapping her foot. She holds a book in her hand, keeps rubbing the book)
Okay, I know I haven't been to church in years, but God, you are supposed to be all seeing, so you must have seen me roaming around. I haven't been hiding, you know. I do talk to you from time to time. I guess, well, maybe I do only talk to you when things are bad......like now.....boy, do I hate waiting for news like this!
How long will it take? I mean they told me it would be a few hours, and it would depend on how the whole operation went, but, this is so tough! I mean.....can't they give some kind of an update?
(She feels something and takes her phone out of her pocket)
Oh, I guess they have some kind of notice.......and it says......the surgery is almost complete, he'll be in post-op in fifteen minutes......oh, boy, I'm telling you God, if everything is OK, and there's no complications, and no problems, I swear I will never complain again! Not about anything! I won't complain about washing his clothes, or changing bandages, or shopping, or even....I won't even complain about washing the dishes! I mean......even if he leaves the glasses on the couch and there's a spill....even if the fork falls on the floor and I step on it!
I really want everything to be OK! I know what's important! I am so sorry about all the times I've bitched and moaned about things that really don't matter!
(She drops to her knees, holds the book up)
I swear on this Bible! I swear on everything that means everything! I will never complain! Ever! Again!
(She sinks down, puts the book on the floor and cries....there is a sound, she looks over, gets up slowly and walks to the door)
Yes?
(She listens and starts smiling, throws her head back)
Thank you! Oh, thank you! I'll be there in a minute.....
(She comes back to get the book, a little shaken)
Everything went perfectly! He's in post-op, and the doctor said everything was clear, and smooth and he should make a complete recovery! Oh, thank you, God!
(She goes to pick up the Bible)
Of course, I hope you understand that sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment......promises that are hard to keep.....like not complaining about the dishes...... I mean, I once counted, and there are a lot of dishes not to complain about.....like maybe 45 a day, and that times a year is.......(thinking) ...I know I did the math once....it was a hell of a lot of dishes.....ooh, sorry about that.....an awful lot of dishes......like 20,000 a year, and in 50 years of marriage, that was like, millions! So, please forgive me......if I go back a little on the bargain.......but I'll do my best, I swear I will......
(She turns to leave, stops, looks back)
Now washing the clothes......that's something to complain about......
(She waves the Bible at the ceiling and exits......a bargain at twice the complaints)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
1 comment:
So true! (And funny!)
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