Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 377 by Janet S. Tiger Turkey Hamlet Feb. 24, 2015

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                                                                        - for a whole year!   Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day # 377 by Janet S. Tiger Turkey Hamlet Feb. 24, 2015
                                      Turkey Hamlet
                                                            by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                (c) 2015     all rights reserved

            (Actor comes onstage holding a chunk of meat, staring at it with deep love)

To eat or not to eat?  That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the gut to suffer
The pings and gasses of outrageous flatulence
Or to throw them out and avoid the troubles......

             (Takes the meat and tries to discard it, stops, can't do it)

Or by donating, end the choices.....To fry, to sousvide....
No more - and by giving to a friend we end
The heartache of the growing fat of a thousand added calories
That our flesh has hair.......and 'tis a happiness
devoutly to be bite, to chomp -
To munch - perchance to have a nightmare, ay there's the seasoning rubbed in
For in that knowledge we are eating too much
And the illnesses may shuffle us off this earth no matter how much we try to use that olive oil ....
We still choose bear claws.  There's the cholestrol
That makes calamity of so long life.....
           (Actor takes a big bite of the meat, wipes chin, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Mmm, mmm, finger-lickin good...

           (Exits, sorry Will!)

The real one -

HAMLET: To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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