Monologue Mania Day # 377 by Janet S. Tiger Turkey Hamlet Feb. 24, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!   Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day # 377 by Janet S. Tiger Turkey Hamlet Feb. 24, 2015
   
                                      Turkey Hamlet

                                                            by Janet S. Tiger   

                                                (c) 2015     all rights reserved

                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

                                        
            (Actor comes onstage holding a chunk of meat, staring at it with deep love)

To eat or not to eat?  That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the gut to suffer
The pings and gasses of outrageous flatulence
Or to throw them out and avoid the troubles......

             (Takes the meat and tries to discard it, stops, can't do it)

Or by donating, end the choices.....To fry, to sousvide....
No more - and by giving to a friend we end
The heartache of the growing fat of a thousand added calories
That our flesh has hair.......and 'tis a happiness
devoutly to be dished......to bite, to chomp -
To munch - perchance to have a nightmare, ay there's the seasoning rubbed in
For in that knowledge we are eating too much
And the illnesses may shuffle us off this earth no matter how much we try to use that olive oil ....
We still choose bear claws.  There's the cholestrol
That makes calamity of so long life.....
  
           (Actor takes a big bite of the meat, wipes chin, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Mmm, mmm, finger-lickin good...

           (Exits, sorry Will!)




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The real one -

HAMLET: To be, or not to be--that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--

No more--and by a sleep to say we end

The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--

To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause. There's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life.

Read more at http://www.monologuearchive.com/s/shakespeare_001.html#KGQYlk1Ctdxuetw2.99

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8