Saturday, February 21, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 374 by Janet S. Tiger The Hoarder Responds Feb. 21, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day # 374 by Janet S. Tiger  The Hoarder Responds Feb. 21, 2015

                                          The Hoarder Responds
                                                            by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                (c) 2015     all rights reserved

              (An older woman enters.  She has on a birthday hat and is holding a glass of wine.)

Do I lift the glass now?  Are they even paying attention to me?  Nah, I don't think so.

               (She takes a big swig)

My daughter is still blithering on about something.....and now they're all laughing.


I can't hear most of what they're saying, but that's what I love about this new hearing aid.  If I can't hear, it's the stupid machine, not me anymore.  What a relief!

And now they are probably making fun of me......about all the stuff I've saved.....hoarded is the new term.  When I was younger, saving things was considered a virtue.  You got to save money, and during the war, it was even patriotic to re-use things.  Now, I wash a plastic container and I'm crazy.....okay, maybe it's a few containers......maybe a lot, but you never know, do you?  There could be a horrible war again, and no one would have containers to store food in, and then I could tell everyone...'nyah, nyah, wrap your food in newspapers, these plastic holders are just for me!

And what about when they needed something for school, paper towel rolls or empty boxes for dioramas?  I had them all!  Everything that was needed, in Mom's collection of saved stuff!  Do they remember that?  Do they care?  Maybe.....

             (Listens, smiles, takes another swig)

But they are good children.  They do take good care of me, take me out to nice meals, and bring me presents.....after telling me I should throw everything out.  Maybe I should throw out their presents first!

            (Looks around)

At least they can unify amongst themselves, better than fighting over who gets what when I'm appears they want none of it anyways, so that's one good side effect of the junk..... I don't know if they know, but I really do not care what they do with all my stuff!  I just wonder if they will throw it all away without looking, or if they'll see I saved every card they ever made for me, gave me, every silly present from when they were little, every last letter sent from every place they visited or worked or moved to.......because I know how I felt when I found all that in my father's closet when he died.  And it just helped cement how much I loved him....and how much I knew he loved me. 

           (Turns her head aside, smiles, lifts glass)

There, I think they actually did a toast, so I can go home soon.  I hope they didn't get some fancy cake!  That's all I need!  More calories!  

             (Shakes her head, waves)

I hope I don't have to say anything.......maybe if I smile a little bigger.....

            (She smiles very large.......lifts her glass)

I've had a wonderful birthday. And such lovely gifts!   Thank you all!  I'm getting a little tired, so, goodbye, everyone.   That's one of the best things about getting older, you can leave whenever you want!

            (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Where the hell am I going to put all this year's presents?

            (She shakes her head as she exits, to start another year.  Happy Birthday Mom)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Eat My Words said...

Perfect! I felt very comfortable being in the presence of someone I just met.