Sunday, February 22, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 375 by Janet S. Tiger The Ma in Many Feb. 22, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!   Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
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Monologue Mania Day # 375 by Janet S. Tiger The Ma in Many  Feb. 22, 2015
     This is connected to #374 - they can be done together, with this first)

                                                         The Ma in Many
                                                            by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                (c) 2015     all rights reserved
              (A woman comes onstage, holding a glass of wine, raises a hand to get attention)

Before it gets any later, I want to make a toast...

               (She turns to look at someone)

Mom, do you have some wine?  Not too much, but enough to join us in wishing you a good year.

              (She raises her glass)

Mom - you have given me many presents, physical - many, many physical! - and others, so many others, of the emotional and spiritual kind.
Why, as a writer, do I use the word 'many' so many times in one sentence?
Because  you are a 'many' kind of person.  You have had many birthdays, and today is one of them.  89.......  And I have many of your gifts in my life - my two children - your oldest grandchildren - have your genetic material, which is sturdy and smart, and you helped us to buy our first house, where we have lived for over a quarter of a century.
I wear dresses, and blouses and underwear and bathing suits you bought me (I hate to shop!) and my home is filled with gifts from you given over these many years.  Too many to list in one tiny blog.  Too many.
Emotionally, you are strong, moving a family 3000 miles to a place where you knew no one and had no friends.  Within a few years, that had changed completely - your friends have numbered in the hundreds at times - before the years whittled down the list a bit, and you can't get around to make new ones as easily.  Also,  two falls in the last few months - too many.
  And you have  many things in your life that are good - three healthy children (physically - mental is a whole other story!) and two wonderful grandchildren who love your dearly.  You still have many friends - most younger now - and thank God, you are  still able to walk and talk and read and laugh and eat your beloved Hagen Daz Dark Chocolate bars.  One a day because you doesn't want to overdo and never be able to eat them at all ever again.  (A good motto for many things)
And have many…. things.  I mean a great many things.  Your house is filled with gifts of all kinds to be given to friends.....someday. 
And you have many, many, many containers.  Of all shapes and sizes. Washed and dried carefully for future preservation in the Smithsonian.  For food you will one day need to store.  Every shape and size - because before recycling became popular, you saved.
And because you love to read - and still can! - you have many, many magazines - and newspapers.  Stacks as high as a six year old.  (At one time, the stacks were only baby height, then toddler.)  We know you will have to read a long time to read all you have hoarded....I mean saved.... and we appreciate the wonderful books and magazines you give us because we know you subscribe for a good reason - you want to win the Publishers Clearing House prize  so you can leave us a legacy of many dollars. 
And we may laugh at all this, but we know that your heart is in the right place - unfortunately there isn't much space for anything else in your house!
So what is the reason for all these many things?   We know the original, very decent reasons for becoming a hoarder.....I mean, saver.  As I like to call them - the ' road to hell' reasons- thrift (why buy something if you already have it- I might need this someday) , generosity (so and so would just love this) and saving the planet (re-use, recycle.....regift)
Doctors can debate, but the reality is what we live with, and we, the many who love you are here today to give you a special birthday gift...  we are coming together, to remove these precious, horrifying towers of crap, before they grow to King Kong size and fall and crush you some night as you head to the kitchen for your midnight ice cream!
It is a Herculean task - but we are all growing closer and laughing a lot because of it.  Because we can still laugh.  Because we'd rather laugh with you........
So we say a ‘Happy Birthday’, and promise only to give you gifts that can be eaten -Mallomars, not the healthiest, but, oh, so happy-making- and will most certainly not be saved or re-gifted.  
To another year.......we lift our glasses.....and our Mallomars (yes, we know you will share them) to toast the chances that come with the greatest
            (She takes a swig, starts to walk off, stops, looks back)
Happy Birthday, Mom, and many, many, many  more!

             (She finishes the glass, exits)
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Eat My Words said...

Good picture of the writer's mother. I like the comedy of,
".. we know that your heart is in the right place - unfortunately there isn't much space for anything else in your house!"