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Monologue Mania Day #444 Not Going Back by Janet S. Tiger May 2, 2015
Not Going Back
(for Caregivers Anonymous - mostly monologue. This is a very rough draft - but I know this scene will be in Act 2 close to the end of the act. For other Caregivers Anonymous, see Days # 270-273, 284-286, 314, 317, 380, 412)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The young man who stumbles onstage is obviously in bad shape. He takes the wheelchair and sits in it heavily. This is Eric and he is shaking.)
ERIC - My turn. I don't care if it's somebody else's turn, it's my turn. Because this is my last time here. I quit. I'm not going back. I can't do it anymore. I won't do it anymore.....
FRANKLIN - Don't worry, Eric, you know what you say here, stays here.....we all understand, we've all been there.
ERIC - I don't think so.
FRANKLIN - It's all right, just tell us what happened. No matter how bad, someone here has seen it worse....
ERIC- That's what you say, but.....I tell you, I'm not going back. Ever.
FRANKLIN (Getting concerned) - So, just for interest sake, when exactly did you leave?
ERIC - (Slow) I'm not sure, it's been....awhile......I know that, all I wanted to do was go to the 7/11, get me a soda, nice and cold.
FRANKLIN - Everyone likes a cold drink......What do you prefer, Eric? Do you like Coke...or Pepsi...or one of those Slurpees that makes your brain freeze?
ERIC - It doesn't matter what I like. I got soda in the fridge, but......Heather, her name is Heather, she works there and she's nice, and she's pretty, and she talks to me like I matter, not like I'm some jerk.....
(He gets out of the chair and starts to walk around, relive the day)
ERIC - And I went to get me a soda.... and she was there, and we talked, and I just never went back.....I just don't ever wanna go back!
FRANKLIN - That's all right...but just to get this clear, you left your father about what time?
ERIC - It was about 10 am, he was watching some old TV show he's seen a million times.....and I left him with his water, and bag of chips......and I'm not going back....
I know it's been all day, but....I've been doing this for seven years now, since my Dad had the accident, and I can't take it anymore!
FRANKLIN - Have you called?
ERIC - There's no point in calling! No use! What's the point in doing all this when people only die? No matter what I do he's gonna die!
(Franklin goes over to him and looks at him, touches his shoulder, Eric drops his head)
ERIC- (Breaking down) There's no point in going back....because he's dead......
(The others go to Eric and surround him, he pushes them away)
ERIC - I don't want pity!
FRANKLIN - We understand, we want you to know....whatever you want to do, that's your choice....
(The new girl is very upset by this, looks around)
NEW GIRL - Did he like, kill his father?
(The others shush her, she is quiet)
ERIC- I didn't kill him.....but i was only gone about twenty minutes, maybe thirty, all right, I talked to Heather for an hour! Aren't I allowed to talk to a girl once in awhile? Why is it a crime? Did I kill him by talking to her? I went back and I knew something was wrong as soon as I got outta the car. Buddy - that's my dog - he's a German shepherd, I've had him since he got him from the shelter, when my Dad was just outta the hospital, to keep him company.
Dad and Buddy were like best friends....and I loved Buddy like a ....like brother almost, a brother I never had.....the three of us, we were like, I dunno, the avengers! And then I heard Buddy was barking and I ran in and.....I got to the living room and .....he was just there.....slumped down a little in the chair, and I knew....I knew ...he was gone......and.....I touched him and he was cold......really cold.....(laughs) funny, I listened for a heartbeat, and when I didn't hear one.......so I...I put on the blood pressure cuff.....Did you know that a dead body does not have a blood pressure? Forget about a pulse! I mean, he was really dead!
And then this incredible sensation washed over me......it was something I never thought I'd feel. I mean, I had thought about this happening, even, I hate to say it, even hoped for it......but I never thought that it would be a....a sensation....of relief ! I mean, I loved my old man, but.....it was like I was free!
(He stands there and laughs for a moment, the absurdity hitting him)
And then......I thought....what do I do? Do I call 911? That'll just be a waste of money.....and the thought of them pounding at him while he was dead....I've seen that one time in the hospital....in the next bed in the ER - they worked for an hour on some homeless guy, and it was awful to watch.....and then.....(he is horrified and sad at the same time) ....I heard Buddy ...I had left the front door open when I came home, and Buddy ran out......and that's what I've been doin' for the last eight hours....looking for my dog.......and I found him....he hadn't gone far.....just down the street.....he was in the bushes......and he was dead, too.....
(He collapses now, this is too much)
He'd been hit by a car, he wasn't a young dog, so I guess he just had enough strength to get off the street.....and he must've just limped onto a soft place.........and I can't even......(he doubles over in pain)
(Franklin goes over and kneels by him)
FRANKLIN - It's all right.....that's a lot to lose in one day.....
ERIC - But you don't understand! I think...I think I'm gonna miss Buddy more.....and I hate myself for thinking that!
(Franklin signals to the others, who bring over coffee, a donut)
FRANKLIN- Right now, you aren't thinking- that's because you're in shock, and that's what we're here for......you're gonna have a cup of coffee and a donut, and we're gonna help you get it together.....because all of us who've been down this path have the coroner's office phone number on speed dial.....and we know just what to say.......so you pull yourself together......because the next few days.....hard to believe, but you're gonna wish you were hit by that car.....and that...that Buddy was the one taking care of the details ....of death.....
(Lights down. End of scene)
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Janet S. Tiger
858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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