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Monologue Mania Day # 1488 Let's Call it The Giant Thumb of Doom by Janet S. Tiger (c) March 12, 2018
Let's Call it The Giant Thumb of Doom
For those of you who have read this blog for some time you know I have the giant thumbs of Doom
And I use these to eradicate moths from my life. (Please see Moth Wars and Giant Thumb of Death if you want to catch up)
I was always embarrassed by my giant strange thumbs
Maybe I shouldn't say giant because they are not giant they are just strange. Strange thumbs. Just saying it sounds weird.
They are very short but the thumbnail is wider than tall. In fact the thumb looks more like a big toe which could have engendered some type of teasing I'm sure, had I not been able to defend myself since I was always tall for my age. And I knew how to take care of myself. Because I had mostly friends who are boys. Well that's not true- they were all boys. I didn't have a friend who was a girl until much later in life. After the hormones set in and I realize that boys were in a different category. ........but that's another monologue.
Back to the thumbs.
I was not sure why I was destined to have thumbs that were so strange. I am the only one in my family who has them.
Where did they come from? I'd look at them and wonder. It was oddly fascinating.
The years go by. Many years.
And then I went to the science fair of the daughter of a friend of mine. I have been in science fairs in junior high and High School so when her daughter was in the science fair I took my kids and it was wonderful to see. The fascinating projects, the intricate boards, the diversity of interests, from math to psychology to ...biology.....
And there it was - the answer! An experiment or maybe project is a better word - about my...thumbs! With photos of other people who had - my thumbs!
And it all had something to do with genes, specifically, a genetic trait more common amongst Ashkenazi Jews.
You just never know where you're going to find the answer to something even if the question is completely irrelevant.
It was a revelation! Now I knew where my thumbs came from- from some distant ancestor who had married another person and maybe both had the gene for these thumbs. Such a strange thing - genes.
What else did I get from the relatives? Where were they? In a city? In some shtetl?
Were they cousins? That often happened in those days - new question were they also a little crazy because I think I am!
I have talked to characters who are not there since I was very little - hence the writing gene - was that gene on the same splice when I was conceived when my ancestor was conceived?
As soon as I heard it was a genetic trait I was happy An explanation always makes things easier in some strange way.
It makes you wonder exactly why God who created all of this - God, who was smart enough to do all of this universe stuff -human beings - life - the whole shebang (the whole shebigbang?) How come this all-knowing God wasn't smart enough to explain to Adam and Eve exactly why they shouldn't eat from the Tree of Knowledge?
I mean, no slur intended because this is some amazing God we got here! Look at this universe!
And yet, he neglects to mention a few words to Adam and Eve about how the Tree of Knowledge would lead them to death - death of the entire world! Which of course we have now with the nuclear and biological weapons energy.
All he would have had to say is - hey Adam, Eve, pay attention - this is important! You know I told you not to eat from the Tree of knowledge- here's the reason! If you eat that apple there's something in there that will give you the knowledge of what exactly is going on around here. The power of life and death and you are going to pay for it let me tell you it's going to be very painful.
And I'm not talkin a week or two I'm talking - a marathon of pain! Years of suffering and cable TV with commercials - years and years like thousands maybe millions - who knows?
So why exactly didn't he say something? Is it possible that God the Father.... was not such a perfect parent?
Is it possible that He hadn't read Spock's book yet? Although I am not exactly sure I remember Spock covering this specific issue.(I don't remember Spock mentioning it at all for that matter but my memory is a little shady at this late hour.)
There's another possibility of course, that the whole thing was edited out of the current version of the Bible. Who knows? Considering that we did take that apple there's still a lot we have no idea what's going on about!
Which brings me back, surprisingly enough, to the thumbs.
If I had to choose any genetic trait over another....I am so grateful I did not get the Tay-Sachs gene -that would have been not so easy.
So.....I can truly say....after all these years......Boy... am I glad I got the thumbs!
(I turn to leave, stop, look back)
And the crazy... I guess I'm happy I got that too.....
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
1 comment:
I love the whole shebigbang!
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