Friday, March 2, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1478 Life is Like... by Janet S. Tiger (c) March 2, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1478 Life is Like...  by Janet S. Tiger (c) March 2, 2018     

                                                    Life Is Like......

                                                  A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                   © 2018 all rights reserved 
           (Actor enters holding a toaster)

Life is like........

           (Pops the toast oat)


You heard me.  Life is like toast.

Think about it.  You want some toast.  Just like anything else in life, you have to be a little prepared.  You have to own a toaster.  And some bread.  And remember to pay your gas and electric.

Let's say you've remembered all these things......and you decide, you want some toast.

So you get the bread, and you notice.....only two slices left.

That brings you to decisions.

One slice or two?

Do you want to save a slice in case you need it for a sandwich?  A one piece of bread sandwich?  So.. you pick two slices.

It's good.

So you put in the bread.....and you wait.  Just like you wait for everything in life.

For your birthday, for Christmas, for that girl in your English class to notice you....yeah, that's the one, with the cute smile....

And you look into the toaster.....into the closet to see if Santa hid the presents in there.....outside the girl's bathroom because that's where she went....

And you wait......

And while you're daydreaming about these smell something....burning toast....

And you pop it....

And there it is, your last two slices, burnt to a crisp!


 You wait for ages and the toast is all soft and nothing and then you look away for just a moment....and your brother opens up your brand new Lego set - and loses the pieces!  And that cute girl escapes out the bathroom window to run off with the captain of the football team.....(sighs)...and you look away for only two seconds and bingo!  No toast!  You have like a window of two seconds for the perfect toast!    ain't that the way it goes!      

I hear that guy Dyson is working on a toaster that never burns toast.....I mean, if anyone could do it, he could....he did the vacuum and the fan, and then the hair dryer....what's with that?  Everyone can use a vacuum and a fan, but a hair dryer- ha!  I'm glad he's working on it!  It won't come a minute too soon......cause I sure am sick of burnt toast!

Of course, if he does invent a perfect toaster, then I'd have to find is like!  

           (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

How is like........a monologue you think is over, but never seems to stop, and then, it's just...

         (He runs out, just like life!)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Ha-ha... Good one... (Ooops, I think I smell burnt toast!)