Monologue Mania: Monologue Mania Day # 1463 Almost (for Crime) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 15, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1463 Almost by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 15, 2018

Almost

           (A woman walks onstage in a nurse's uniform. She is strong, efficient, checking things off a clipboard. Looks up, is very matter of fact.)

Almost. What an awful word that is. You almost made the team. You almost got an A. You almost have enough points to go on your vacation.

So close, but so far.

I am a nurse. I know life and death are not exact in some ways. But I can still hate that word.... almost.
(Happy) Almost healed. Almost ready to go home....(not so happy) ....almost dead.

He came in with a police escort.

Now at the emergency room where I've worked for 28 years, this is not unusual. Saturday night it's like a circus in here. Stabbings, shootings, domestic violence. And those are the easy ones.

We all get combat pay for this neighborhood - they call it something else like - bonus hours for the weekend - but everyone knows what it means.

But for the police to come with an ambulance on Tuesday morning at 10AM...with detectives, well, that's different.

This was a big case, and because I'm the charge nurse - the one in charge - I get to do the admit and assessment.

He was almost dead. We worked on him, but he had 5 bullets just in his chest - and another, in the head, self-inflicted. It was amazing he was still alive at all.
Then we found what he had done. This is not always a good idea. I don’t care what the Hippocratic oath says, it is hard to divorce yourself from knowing that someone you are trying to save has killed 15 people……that they know of….right now…..could be more.
Of course, maybe he’s not the right guy. It’s possible. Of course, my friend – one of the officers – told me when they came to get him, he had confessed. He asked that as he was leaving his family they not handcuff him until he was outside, and they agreed. As soon as he was outside, he grabbed one of the guns from the policeman next to him….the others shot him, and he blew (changes her mind) …almost….. blew his own brains out.
So here he is, on about a million dollars worth of equipment to keep him alive, and and he just might live.
I don’t go to church much, but I honestly believe God brought this man to me at this time for a reason. As a nurse, I made a promise to save lives, and not administer harmful drugs, but what is harm? To keep alive a murderer who will harm others, is that right? And if he’s a vegetable, who gets to feed and water him? You and I – at least our tax dollars do.   How much will that cost all of us? Will an equal amount be given to the victims of this man? To help them? The answer is ….no.
Now, there’s a lot of things a nurse can do to make your life happy when you’re in the hospital. Plump up your pillow, help you get to the bathroom. Maybe even save your life.
But there are other things they can avoid doing, or do poorly that can make the difference between getting out quickly…or not getting out.
It doesn’t take much to figure out what I did. Almost. I almost kept that wound clean. Is it my fault if there are some drug resistant bacteria in hospitals? And I almost administered the right drug to kill the bacteria. I knew there would be an inquest and an autopsy, so I just….waited. Timing is everything sometimes…..
Does that make me a killer? I’ve thought about it. Would God have given me a chance like this because he wanted this piece of dirt to live?

          (She turns to go.)

I have more rounds, so I have to go. People need me.

           (She stops for a moment, bowing her head.)

I think God did the world a favor when he brought that killer to our ER. I am sure I was right doing what I did. (Thinks for a moment) Almost sure.

           (She exits. The end.)
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First posted Sept. 4, 2014 Note - This was originally started in 2012, but I think it's better now.

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