Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1456 More Bertha (from Crime) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 8, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1456 More Bertha (from Crime) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 8, 2018  

   For more monologues from Crime, please see Days #  171, 172, 190, 193, 219-213, 226-7, 239, 320, 393, 409, 533-4, 552, 1425, 1428, 1429, 1454)  And for those interested in hearing the first reading of this version on Feb. 16 in San Diego, please click here for more info

                                           More Bertha
                                                 (From Crime) 
                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                                                    

                (Lights up on Bertha, a farm woman in her 60s)

Why are we here?

I mean, what is the purpose of our lives?

I used to think about this a lot........when I was in the outhouse.........

...... after.....after my kids and husband were gone.....why was I here?

I mean, I would never have grandchildren.  Or another husband.  One was enough!

So, why?

 It was quiet out there.  The phone didn't ring. was like when I was a kid, before....everything after...

You never know what's gonna happen in life.  It's the real mystery story, ya know.

TV, the movies.  At the end, it's all figured out.  In real life, you never know.

They can tell you the storm coming is small, and then, it hits and your whole life can get washed
away, like some of my neighbors who live too close to the river.

My husband always wanted to take out the outhouse.  He thought the kids could get hurt playin in it.

(Laughs)  They didn't go in there, they said it smelled!

One day, I was in there, and I had just walked out and come in the house because it had started to rain.

And all of a sudden, there was this bolt of when you see lightning and then you 
hear the thunder, you can tell how far away that bolt struck.  You count....1, 2, 3., 4, 5 that's one 
mile....well when you see the lightning, and hear the thunder at the same time...well, it's right there! 
 And there it was, a giant force of nature...just hittin that old outhouse and it pulverized it!  
Just like in those Star Wars movies!  Gone!  

        (She looks around as if she can see it again)

And I woulda been gone, too if I hadn't come in outta the rain!

So that's when I realized, if God had wanted me dead, he woulda taken me then.  There was another
purpose for my life, and maybe I'd never know, least while I was alive.  But it was coming.

A few weeks later, he drove up into my life.... I heard his car before I saw it.

And I thought, who knows?  What if this man comin now is the man I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with?

What if.......

           (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Funny thing, he was.......

           (Lights down)


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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