Thursday, April 30, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #442 Storage Unity by Janet S. Tiger Apr. 30, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
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 Monologue Mania Day #442  by Janet S. Tiger  Apr. 30, 2015                                                 
                                                 Storage Unity
                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                                                          

        (A woman comes onstage, opens door to greet audience.  She is smiling, happy, but definitely odd)

Ooh, hello, sorry I can't let you in, but everything is a big mess.....


That's me, and this is Unit 1692.  I've had this unit for six months now, very lovely.  I have such nice neighbors!  Sometimes they bring me a nice dinner, and the bathrooms here are always clean.  I've had no problems.

       (She indicates the area behind her)

I have a tablet and a cell phone, my futon is just right for me....and it is so cheap- i wouldn't want to be here with children, but it's perfect for one person.

       (Listens, shakes head)

I'm sorry, I don't understand, I pay my monthly rent promptly, and I keep everything clean!  There are no bugs in here, and I am very careful to be quiet at night, so as not to disturb anyone.  Why would you want me to leave?  Why would anyone want me to leave?

        (Steps back, shocked)

What do you mean, not following the rules - I am very careful of rules - why should there be a problem living in a storage place where the name is - SELF STORAGE!

       (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

You see, along with all my things..... I am SELF.

        (She exits....but not without a fight!  But that's for another monologue.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8