Friday, April 17, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 429 by Janet S. Tiger In the Land of UsedtoBe (revised) April 17, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at  Some days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit.  Hope they are improved!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 400!

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            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day # 429 by Janet S. Tiger In the Land of UsedtoBe (revised) April 17, 2015
                                         In the Land of UsedtoBe 
                  (revised -first seen Apr. 15, 2015, or to use the tax terminology - amended)
                                                    (for The Senior Channel)
                                                      by Janet S. Tiger
                                                © 2014 all rights reserved

           (Older actor strolls throughout the crowd, no rush, waves leisurely)

Hello, my dear friends in senior land.  Or should I say our real location, shh, don't tell anyone, but of course, it's no secret.  If you are watching this, you are either a resident - or friends of a resident - of the mighty land of...Used to Be!

Now this is not where we were born, of course.....we are born into the very fast and furious world of Here and Now.....a place which has the fascinating paradox - everything is moving at light speed - when we are born into this place, we are learning a million things at once- every minute of every day is packed with excitement!  What is that large roundish thing coming at us?  Is it ....a face?  Of someone who loves us?  And all the incredible sights and sounds and experiences!  Amazing - a ribbon, the sky....ooh, a box!  What delights!  And the paradox - is that with all the newness of every day, the time drags by!  It takes forever to reach the station of one's birthday!  They say it's a year, but that has to be wrong!  It feels like....a million years!

Then something happens.....and we get a bit older, and suddenly, we take longer to do things, but.....those slow minutes.... start to race.  We turn around and see the land of Here and Now fading into the distance, filled with our youth......and we start forgetting things and worse.....we start remembering things that never were!  The jobs we hated become filled with memories of friends, and the family we swore we'd never speak to again....dies, so we cannot speak to them.  And we wake up one morning and things are aching, and dear ones we loved ....are available only in our imaginations.....We look around and the train has stopped for what seems like ages in....the Land of UsedtoBe......a place we once glimpsed when speaking with our elders, while we squirmed and wished they would JUST STOP TALKING for a moment so we could GO OUT AND PLAY in the land of Here and Now.......a location that has misty water colored atmosphere......a place that is not at the beginning, and not at the end, a place where the time races by... but every day is slow, because everything that used to be easy, like putting on your shoes, now takes hours......

        (Illustrates by trying to take of a shoe, gives up, smiles)

So, stay awhile in the Land of UsedtoBe, things are pleasant here.  Everything you are or once were is a lovely memory.  The sands of time have smoothed the rough edges of youth, and many things that irritated are now dead and gone.  Like old bosses, and horrid teachers.....and those who were ......not nice to us.

And we.....we are all PP here!  Previously Perfect!  For the older we get, the better we were!  We were so wonderful!  Beautiful and strong, never a pimple!  And we were able to work for days on no sleep, and dance until dawn every night with our many loves, and we knew everything......all of which we have forgotten.....because forgetting is one of the only ways to get to....the Land of UsedtoBe.

Aches and pains?  They will ease away like the rest of everything else long forgotten.  Because once we forget, we are happy here in this little plot of land, this island of calm before..... the approach to our final destinations.  Sit awhile, heck, you can sit forever.......and wonder why we still say words like 'heck' when everyone else curses like stevedores!

 But I digress, which is one of the many lovely places here....Digression Alley, Repetition Lane.....and the always popular stroll down the Avenue of When I Was Younger.

And please, do not rush to send me letters and emails that life is better now that you are older!  This belief will lead you back to the station,  and before you know it...... (sad) are taking a side trip  on the UsedtoBe train.......(shudders).... to a special side-trip location that is the inspiration for many a TV show and book... the Nation of the Undead....

            (Shakes warning finger) .

(to scare).......inhabited by zombies, the living impersonation of humans who no longer can remember anything except how to eat!  And they only suck out the brains of those who love them, so I warn you my friends, you really do not want to ask for this destination!  Enjoy your stay here in UsedtoBe land, and I wish you a wonderful journey for the rest.....

               (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Because even though this is a one way trip, you don't want to miss it!  All aboard!

              (Exits.....for the next stop)
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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