first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com. Some days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit. Hope they are improved!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 400!
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day # 434 by Janet
S. Tiger April 22, 2015
Not Enough Phones
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Man runs out, listening for something, very upset)
Don't you hear it? Please
tell me where that phone is! I can hear it ringing somewhere in this
apartment!
(Looks everywhere)
I realize it might seem as if I
have a few too many phones.....
All right, I can see your
point....I am one man, with a two bedroom apartment and I have four phones in
my kitchen - two regular and two traveling.....or as they are called on the
box....cordless!
Then one in my bathroom –
traveling….cordless…..for next to the throne….. essential! I feel like a king!
Another three in my office bedroom
- one for the stock market, a back-up for the stock market...ooh, that is a pretty phone! I love that phone, it's new, only 27.99 from Rite-Aid....and it has a yellow light that flashes when the phone rings, so beautiful!
And a traveling phone
related to the one in the kitchen. Then, a solid one in my real bedroom,
along with a traveling, I mean cordless from one of the other places......does
that count as one or two if I move it into another room…..
(Thinking) But how do I count the cell
phone? That’s not a regular line….but it
is a phone….what’s the problem? Sleeping
with the phones! They all ring!
And now, I am trying to go to
sleep, and to go to sleep I need to turn them all off, so they won't ring and
wake me up when a marketer from the firm of 'want to buy something worthless at
7 am' calls!
Or the company of 'we have a free
medical device for you' decides that I cannot live without their easily insertable product!
And if even one stays on, I am
doomed!
Doomed you hear! So
where is it?
(Looks at the ceiling)
The problem with these newfangled
phones is that their sound is made out of LCD or something strange and it rings
in one room but is actually far away! The object- drive you crazy!
(Sits with head in hands)
I love phones! You want me to
get rid of a few ...well, I won't, you hear me! I am going to be the
Chuck Yeager of telephones!
That's what he did, you know,
Yeager was approaching the speed of sound and the airplane started to vibrate,
which indicated it could disintegrate at any time - like the other planes had
when they approached the speed of sound. But he figured - what the
hell! If he was gonna die, let him go out in a blaze of glory! So
he speeded up, and the vibrating stopped! And he broke the sound barrier
and survived! And that is what I will do! I will keep all these
phones.....
And I will get some more!
More phones! Until I break the …phone barrier!
(He turns to leave, starts to skip out, stops, looks back)
Wait, my birthday is coming up, and
everyone always asks what to get me…..at 87, I never know what to say….if they
get me a blonde, what’ll I do with her?
Most food is off limits because of my medications…..but now I have the
solution…..they can get me…a phone! I
have a lot of family and friends who are still alive….they can all bring me
…..phones!
(He
exits happy, to the next dimension of phones)
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Janet S. Tiger
858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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