Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 419 by Janet S. Tiger April 7, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.  Some days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit.  Hope they are improved!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 400!

 
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day # 419 by Janet S. Tiger A Taxing Day April 7, 2015       
                         A few days before April 15, but since I'm usually down to the wire on everything else, maybe I'll try being early for a change!
                              A Taxing Day
                                        by Janet S. Tiger
                                    © 2014 all rights reserved
                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (The person races onstage, frantic, looks at watch, takes papers from pockets, from a bag, dumps on a table.  Looks at everything, gets even more frantic.)

Where did I put those receipts?  Do I even need them?  Oh, why didn't I go to my cousin the accountant, H and R Blockhead?  He only charges a million dollars to do taxes on the last day!

           (Pulls another paper from shirt pocket)

What does that shrink say I have to do?

           (Scanning, reading frantically)

It says.....'First, calm down'.....that makes a lot of sense!  Let me try that!

           (Starts to shake, continues reading)

'Then, take slow, deep breaths.....'

            (Breathes quickly, starts to hyperventilate, uses bag to breathe into)

'Go to a place that is quiet, pleasant, call this your....special place.....'

Where is that supposed to be?  A looney bin?

 What time is it?  Oh, my God, I only have one hour left and the post office will be closed!  And the website crashed.....what am I going to do?

I don't want to file another extension this year!  I promised myself I would be on time!

            (Looks at watch, at calendar, starts to tear out hair)

Why do I wait until the last minute every year?  I swear, I will never do this again!

            (Looks at the phone......starts to relax)

Oh, my God!  this year, today is Sunday!  The taxes don't have to be mailed until tomorrow!

            (Relaxes completely, sits on the floor, takes a deep breath)

Now that was relaxing!  I have a whole 24 hours to finish!  I feel like I just got a stay of execution! 

            (Gets up, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I feel better now!  Ooh, I think I have time for a shower, and maybe there's a late movie......I have plenty of time....why was I so worried?

            (Exits, but there is still no end for taxes)

----------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

JennyRedbug said...

Ha ha ha! So true...