first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org. Some days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit. Hope they are improved!
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Monologue Mania Day # 430 by Janet S. Tiger Signature Here April 18, 2015
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2014 all rights reserved
(An older man sits with a clipboard. He stares at it)
My signature. They want my signature. Where? On this dotted line, where they put a big X and some yellow highlighter, and underlined the line in red. I got it. Okay, here it is.....my signature....
(He writes slowly and deliberately, he takes the page and turns it up, looks at next paper)
And on this page they want my signature two times.......
(He is now getting a bit irritated)
I don't see why this is all necessary....why not have one page with all the other items on it, and sign it one time? Wouldn't that be a bit more logical?
There, two more done.....
(He looks around)
What are those children doing? This is a doctor's office! We weren't allowed to run around like that when WE were children!
(He follows the action, shaking his head)
Where is the mother- or father- or nanny? Who is letting them throw papers around this room? What is happening to this world?
(He turns the page again, looks horrified)
This page has four of those damn X's! That means four signatures!
(He stands, goes to desk, leans over)
Do I have to fill all of these out?
(Listens, goes back to seat and steams as he signs)
Now, that should be it...right? Wait a minute, how many more pages are there?
(He turns page after page, counting)
One, two, three, four! And five, this last one has.......
(Puts his finger on the page to count)
(Sputtering) 1.2.3...4...5.6..7.......14 places to sign!
(He hears something, turns to listen)
Oh, so the last page, the one with the 14 lines to sign....that's ONLY initials! Well, what a great relief that is!
(He now furiously signs all the pages, getting madder and madder as he goes)
I don't remember ever having to do all this paperwork when I went to new doctors! I just remember going in, the doctor looks at you, talks to you, and that's IT ! None of this PAPER! What happened to computers removing all the paper, saving us from all the paper!
(He does the last 14 initials in a frenzy)
There! Done! Whew!
(He turns it in, furious)
How long will it be until this new wonder doctor can see me?
Why am I here? With all those signatures, not one of them had to do with why I am here?
(Shakes his hand)
I am here because I have a terrible pain in my right hand!
(He stops, shakes the hand again)
Wait a minute.....the pain is.....gone!
(He stretches the fingers, waves them)
Amazing! Never mind!
(He turns to leave, stops, marches back to the desk and grabs the signed papers, rips them up and throws them in the air.)
I've always wanted to do that!
(He waves goodbye and walks out - which is what we all would love to do, too!)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-ResidenceSwedenborg Hall 2006-8