Saturday, April 4, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 416 by Janet S. Tiger How to Be a Failure April 4, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.comSome days - like today - will be reruns that are re-written a bit.  Hope they are improved!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 400!

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues -

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
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Monologue Mania Day # 416 by Janet S. Tiger How to Be a Failure  April 4, 2015
                                                  How to Be a Failure
                                                              (for the Senior Channel)
                                                      by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2015 all rights 

              (The older man enters, he is moving slowly, but steadily)

They tell me that, for this show, I can talk about what I know best.

So, I can tell to be a failure. say.....I could never learn to be a failure...I have too much going for me.  That may be true, but, if you age, I can assure you, failure is the goal.

You heard want to fail.  I have failed at many things in my, a lotta them, three marriages, four children who will not talk to them.

And here's the way......quick, before you go any further, take a minute and go get a drink.

That's all, it's guaranteed....I have been drinking for 69 years, since I was 12 years old, and I have found it to be very effective at producing what I call....the failure effect.

One drink will not be enough, so take another......when are you through?  When you can't remember how many you've had.

Failure is easy after that.....I know.  

You see, two years ago.....I crashed into a tree, and they took away my license.  The car was totaled, the tree was killed, but me.....I am still alive.  I even failed, at dying......
          (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Well, but there is good news, I need a new liver.....and because I'm still drinking, I failed to get on the transplant list.....

          (He shakes his head and shuffles off.  Not the end of his drinking, though)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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