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Monologue Mania Day #440 Two Enter...One Leaves by Janet S. Tiger Apr. 28, 2015
Although this is written for two actors, it can also be played by just one - am working on that version for tomorrow.
Two Enter.......One Leaves
(with apologies to Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved firstname.lastname@example.org
(Two enter.....two dressed identically.....the color is not important, but the identical is. The two hold hands, loosely. Or maybe they are hugging a bit. They are like two peas in a pod....or two socks....about to be....washed......)
Sock 1 - I don't like this.
Sock 2 - Me neither, not one little bit.
(They move around a bit, being jostled)
Sock 1 - I heard about this back in that dark place.....what was that thing we were in?
Sock 2 - (Scared) The drawer.....
Sock 1 - Some of the others warned me.....they said the first time was very frightening, the sounds, the smells!
Sock 2- Well, we smell, too....
Sock 1 - But not like that big thing coming at us....watch out.....
(They jump out of the way, sock 1 protecting sock 2, they hold noses)
Sock 1 - Oh, my goodness! That was.......very ....
Sock 2 - ........odoriferous!
Sock 1 - Why do you have to use big words like that? You know I hate those big words! And I couldn't bring a dictionary in here.....I understand they use.......(whispering) water!
Sock 2 - Oh, no! Not water!
Sock 1- (Mysterious) And that's not all, I hear.....
(They stop, hold hands again, they react to a loud noise)
Sock 1- What is that?
Sock 2- I don't know, but it does not bode well for us I think.
Sock 1 - Not bode well? You've gotta be kiddin'! That sounds like.......
(They look around)
Sock 2 - Why is it so tight, with all this other clothing? Why do we have to be washed with...everything else?
Sock 1 - Don't be such a snob, I did see a few gym socks over there .....
Sock 2 - Shhhh! Do you hear that noise?
(They listen intently)
Sock 1 - That sounds like the water in the sink, only much much closer.....
Sock 2 - Not boding well, not boding well....
Sock 1- Shut up so I can listen!
(Tries to angle around, but they are packed in tightly)
Sock 1 - It's water all right! And it's coming right in under our foots!
Sock 2 - Feet! I keep telling you we are socks, so these are our feet!
Sock 1- I don't know what kind of fantasy you live in, but only one foot goes in me! You have one foot, I have one foot, two foots!
Sock 2 - Oh no, I am starting to soggify!
Sock 1 - Is that even a word?
Sock 2- It is now! We're going to die! I just know it! We are going to drown! Help! Help!
Sock 1 - With all your big fancy words, is that all you can say?
Sock 2 - All right....we're going to expire! Our demise is imminent! Assist us we beseech you!
(Sock 2 stares at Sock 1 and then they look down, the water is rising, they start to lose their ability to stand up and start slithering onto the ground.)
Sock 2 - Oh, aid us, give us succor....
Sock 1 - Oh, shut up and listen! The others are whispering that we won't drown, just get wet, that it's a wild ride....one of the huge white things with holes at either end said it's like a ride at a place called Disneyland.....whatever that means......oh, no, we're almost completely......glug....
(They now go through the cycle of wash - sped up a bit for our theater audience - they are slowly jiggled, agitated, then moved up and down and around the stage/washing machine. The water drains out and they are scrunched on the floor, slowly trying to stand, still shaking)
Sock 1- Whoa! That was....
Sock 2 - Intense!
Sock 1 - And this is a lovely vibration.....I love a nice dance rhythm....
(The two socks sway together)
Sock 1 - I hope we can stay together....
Sock 2- Why wouldn't we?
Sock 1 - I don't want to frighten you any more than necessary....
Sock 2 - How could that even be possible?
Sock 1- I heard a ....rumor......from the gym socks.....they are all the same color....white, and some of
them.....(hard to say) told me that not every pair stays together......that, there are......oh, I hate to
say the word....
Sock 2 - Accidents?
Sock 1 - You heard, too!
Sock 2- How could I help hearing? Those gym socks love to scream! Two Enter, but only one
leaves! What's to become of us!
Sock 1 - It doesn't have to be us....we can stay together, just hold my hand.....
(They stop to listen)
Sock 1 - The water is coming back, hold tight, my friend!
Sock 2 - I thought we were more than just friends!
Sock 1 - We are, but this is probably a life changing situation......there is some type of horrible.....
oh, I can't bring myself to say the word!
Sock 2 - Drain! And since the water is coming up very fast, and this might be the last time we are
together, could you please tell me - what are we? Are we friends, or....lovers? And what kind of lovers? Are you a rightie or a leftie?
Sock 1- What does that mean?
Sock 2 - Which foot do you prefer?
Sock 1 - I don't think I have a choice......do you?
Sock 2 - So does that make you......a homosocksuel? Or heterosocksuel? Are we uni-sock or metro-sock? Exactly what type of sock are you?
(The water gets them, they swirl around, holding on to each other as they head toward the exit, but then they stop, look back).
Sock 1 - After 25 weeks together, in the factory, on the truck to the big warehouse, to the store where they bought us, does it matter?
Sock 2- Well, no matter what - I want us to stay.....a pair.
Sock 1- So do I......maybe, we'll be lucky, and we won't go down the drain, but if we do....at least, we can go down together.......
(They hold hands and lean in together)
Sock 1 and 2 together- It doesn't mean a thing..... but even so....after 25 weeks, it's nice to know.....
(They exit, holding hands....having made it through the first wash together)
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8