Thursday, February 25, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 743 Walking My Brain (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Feb. 25, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day # 743 Walking My Brain (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Feb. 25, 2016 
        This monologue is having a birthday - two years old - first posted on Feb. 25, 2014  Day  #13.  

                   Walking My Brain 
                                         by Janet S. Tiger  
                              (c) all rights reserved Feb. 25, 2014   

              (A very dapper older gentleman is seen coming onstage.  He is dressed with a hat and looks                  all put together - and he is walking with a leash....not a dog, mind you, just the leash.  If you               can get one, the leash that stands without a dog attached is optimal, but if not, just a                            dragging leash will do.

             He is a very happy sort of chap, and, even before he speaks, we know he is British.  How?                  We just know.  He walks around the stage, tipping his hat to those he meets, until, finally,                   he meets you and he is SO happy to see you.)

(Veddy British)    Well, hello!  I haven't seen you in an absolute age!  How are you?  You look magnificent!  Healthy and fit!  Why it must be, how many years?

            (He tilts to listen, laughs)

The years do go fast.  (Listens)  Oh,  this.....

            (He indicates the leash)

No, I haven't lost my dog, although that's what so many people think for some reason!  But I am quick to correct that misconception -  I do not have a dog, nor have I ever owned a dog, nor do I - short of some incredible change of my belief systems which include believing dogs should be free animals like those in the zoos - no, I am not walking a missing dog........(relishes this)  I am walking.... my brain.

            (Waits for reaction)

It does seem a bit unusual, doesn't it.  But once I explain, you, too, will understand, just like those gentlemen in the hospital finally had to - after my solicitor apprised them that I was entitled to my views, just as anyone is.

Yes, I firmly believe that walking is an essential exercise.  One that be accomplished after running, and skiing, and cycling and all the others... are no longer feasible.

So I walk my body for the health of all the billions of cells that depend on regular exercise and fresh air.

But the brain?  What of its needs?  I do not hold with the belief that sitting in front of a computer for an hour  trying to remember what 358 times 22 equals is the best way of keeping one's brain in good working order!

No!  I believe that the best way is to get out and meet people...people you know, people you have never known - people are the best exercise for the brain.

And here's where this leash comes in -  when I have it, and I am walking my 'brain' - there are few people who do not notice that the leash is empty.

Not of the brain, of course, but the leather part.

Their faces are more entertaining than any show on the telly - and it's live entertainment - for free!  The best price if you ask me....

And very few can resist asking me about my missing dog.  They smile, they laugh - oh, and children totally understand when I tell them I'm walking my brain!

So after I have been out for an hour or so, I feel as if my body and my brain have had a good, healthy walk, and I - and my brain - are ready for a nice cup of tea and a nap.

My dear friend, it has been a delight to see you - I hope we can bump into each other again.

I say goodbye - and my brain says goodbye, too!

            (He turns, gives the leash a nod.)

Good brain!  Now we'll get some sugar for you.......

            (He listens as if his 'brain' is responding, laughs and exits.  As he leaves, we hear whistling....could it be...'Walking My Brainy Back Home...'   Hope not!  This is crazy enough!   The end.)

For those unfamiliar with the final reference, the song is Walking My BABY Back Home

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.