Monday, February 15, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 733 Taken for Granted by Janet S. Tiger Feb.15, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
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Monologue Mania Day # 733 Taken for Granted  by Janet S. Tiger Feb.15, 2016 

                                       Taken For Granted

                                             by Janet S. Tiger 
                                          (c) all rights reserved 2016
                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com        

        (The applicant enters, carrying a big bag of papers, folders, stares into audience)

Can you see me?  I can't see you with all the lights in my face......Are you able to see me?  Am I invisible?

I think I brought everything......I mean it may not be as organized as you want, but......

        (Digs into bag, stops, looks around, awareness is setting in slowly)

Wait a minute...does it even matter what I am going to show you....tell you?  You are the same people who turned me down last year....and the year before.......why do I even bother....you make this whole process so hard, all that's left are your friends....and they're the ones who end up with the grants!  Wow - it took me five years to figure that out - what a genius I am!  Maybe the MacArthur Foundation will pick me!

         (Turns to leave, stops, grabs one of the pages and looks back, eyes wild, smiling crazily)

Maybe for once, I should give you the truth........do you think you can handle the truth?  Let's see......

What's the first item here......

Artist Biography -  Well,  I am a great artist!

Next.........Artist Statement -  I am a VERY great artist who wants a lotta money!

Item 3 - Project Concept – What is my  project?  My project is to HELP ME!  My concept is that you give me a lotta money!  How bout a million so I can sit on a beach in my underwear and write?  Or maybe that's not accurate.....….I need two million to pay back all the people who loaned me money on my quest to become an artist! 

Item 4 - How long will it take?  Now!  Give me my money now!  

(Mimicking) How is this project a risk?  I never had a lotta money before!  The big risk is that I spend it all at the casino!  An even bigger risk is that I get arrested for writing on the beach in my underwear - but then I'd get a lotta publicity for this organization so it's gotta be worth it!  

(Mimicking) How will this connect to people and issues they care about?   (Back to annoyed)/This connects to everybody because- the main issue on everyone's mind is -  EVERYBODY wanna be rich!  

More people will wanna get grants, too!   And you will have a big success givin away money next year!

-What phase is this in?  Isn't it obvious......we're in the DREAM PHASE! 

Now here's my favorite.......

          (Holds up the paper)

Artist Resume -  3 references – maybe I can use all of you for references!  I've known you all for years! And I promise I will give you money if I get granted!  All you gotta do is say nice things!  I know that's hard, but think of MONEY!

As for the 'Artist sample' – I will be more than happy to give urine sample – just send a cup.  Another sample?  In that case, you will ..... my underwear, so please send a plastic bag!

Now for the final step -

Submission -  I am VERY  submissive…I will submit all samples! 

There- a whole bunch of great reasons to give me the money!  Not tell me, not show me ....but GIVE ME THE MONEY!

And if you do......I will never take it for granted!

          (Smiles, takes the papers and dumps them, turns to leave, stops and looks back)

I'll just take it!

           (Sprints out to never apply for a grant again!)


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Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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