Monday, February 1, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 720 Adult Childhood (for Two Sisters)by Janet S. Tiger Feb. 1, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day # 720 Adult Childhood by Janet S. Tiger Feb. 1, 2016 
                                             Adult Childhood
                                                (for Two Sisters) 
                                ©Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved 2016

                    (Lynn lifts an article of material and waves it at Pam)

LYNN - Oh, another thing.  Just in case he hasn't told you, Dad does not like this bib.

PAM  - (Touchy)  It's not a's a shirt protector.

LYNN - (Annoyed) It's a bib.

PAM  -Let me show you in the catalog....

       (She shows the page in a catalog)

LYNN - (Looking,, amazed) If they say that a cat is a dog in this catalog....which I think they do on page 53, it is still a cat......and this.....

        (Holds up the item)

LYNN - Is a bib.  Daddy is not a baby....he does not want a bib......

PAM - Are  you trying to make my life more difficult on purpose....or is this just a bonus of your delightful personality?

LYNN - You can insult me all day....and sometimes you do....but this is a BIB!  And Daddy does not want to wear a bib!

PAM  - And you tell me that I'm the picky one!

LYNN - Are you calling me picky?  That's fresh!  Well, I don't care!  Daddy is the one who  wants an apron.....that does not need fastening with velcro......that goes around his neck.
What is so difficult about this?  He wants one like the apron he had and can no longer find......

PAM - Did you actually see the apron he had?  It was frightening!  It was pink and torn and had little angels on it.....

LYNN -  What did you say?

PAM -  It was frightening, it was pink.....

LYNN -  Before said....the apron he HAD!
       Had!  Aha! you DID throw it away!  

PAM - I did no such thing!

LYNN - Then where is it?  Where did you hide it?

PAM - I didn't hide it!  Someone put it in the back closet!

LYNN - Well if you didn't put it there, and I didn't put it there, then Daddy must've put it there!

PAM - Perfect- when he remembers where it is, then HE can find it!

       (Lynn holds the item and shakes her head)

LYNN - ends where it begins.....

PAM - Stop being such a Negative Nelly!  That's my job......

LYNN - Negative Nelly!  Remember when Mom would call us that?

PAM -  Who could forget?  I always feel I have had to live up to her expectations of me - low as they were!

LYNN -  At least she missed the joy of adult childhood.....

PAM -  That's because she was killed by a drunk driver......(brightens) hey, you're always so cheery, so glass half full kind of person, that's a good thing about Daddy never wanting to go anyplace other than the coffee shop or a doctor appointment.....his odds of being killed by a drunk are way down!

LYNN -  Oh, thank you!  That helps so much!

PAM -  (Kinder)  Well tell the truth Lynn....what are you so afraid of now?  I can tell....for all the  bravado, there's something scary in your head.....

LYNN -   I guess.....I'm worried day, he won't answer the phone, and I'll come over and.....and I'll have to deal with a......a dead body....

PAM -  But that is not today, is it?

         (Lynn shakes her head 'no')

PAM -  And until might as well enjoy!  Look, one day, everything will will be a horrifying day, and I can tell you right are going to be very busy!

          (Lynn starts laughing)

LYNN -  And what will you be doing, dear sister?

PAM -  Of course, I, too.  will be...very busy......

LYNN -  Doing what exactly?

PAM -  Crying.  Lots and lots of crying and in between......some wailing....and I will be very unable to do anything else!

LYNN - Because of all the crying......

PAM -  You do understand!  

           (She pulls out something from Lynn's purse and pushes beeps)

PAM - There, that was easy!

           (They collapse in laughter over the toy.  Blackout.  End of scene)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Your sisters always make me giggle.