Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Monologue Mania Day # 741 Failure! by Janet S. Tiger Feb.23, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
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Monologue Mania Day # 741 Failure!   by Janet S. Tiger Feb.23, 2016 
                                                              (for The Senior Channel)
                                                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                    © 2016 all rights reserved 
         (A man in his thirties strides purposefully out onstage.  He surveys the audience and waves)

Ladies and gentlemen!  I bring to you the biggest magazine success in fifty years!  Bigger than Playboy, bigger than Rolling Stone!  I bring you the magazine that highlights our biggest fear by putting a face on it.....the magazine of FAILURE!

That's right, you heard me!  Failure!  I have no interest whatsover in people who succeed - who cares about them?  They have plenty of money and fame!  And those who succeed for a minute because they won a race or a game....or - if they're like Kim Kardashian - they have a big bottom!

Well, the only bottom I'm interested in is - the bottom of the heap!  Not the top, but the lower 10 per cent!  Those of us who have failed miserably - and stayed there!  The homeless, the almost homeless, the crooks, the addicts, the people who are best at what everyone else will not do --  FAIL!

Now look at me....my father always told, even to his dying breath, that he was disappointed in me!  I almost named the magazine DISAPPOINTMENT, but the title is too long!    So I am living up to his expectations - or maybe....living down!

Here's the cover for next month.......

        (Holds up a magazine and stares at it with love)

A homeless guy in Los Angeles....homeless for 26 years!  Not a veteran, just a drug addict who almost destroyed his entire family!

He is almost as good as the cover from last month....

        (Holds up another issue)

She was a mother, a wife, a person who baked cookies....and she disintegrated when her husband started an affair......almost killed him!  She's in jail now for attempted murder.....another great failure!

Why am I here?  Because I need your help!   I want all of you out in Senior Channel land to consider being on our next cover......or recommending someone....because you, too can affirm your defeat  with this......

         (Holds up a FAILURE magazine that has the word YOU! in the center)

And if you can't think of a cover failure story, we are always looking for inside the covers.....maybe you have a useless son-in-law....or a child who is...COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY USELESS!

Or just someone you know from work who could have advanced, but is miserable in the same job for over 30 years!

You be the judge, and our readers will be the jury......think of it.....you might actually get yourself a few fans!

So call the number on the screen now, or if your old fingers can still handle the Internet.....our website is up here, too...

        (Points above head, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Just remember, FAILURE may be nothing to be proud of.....but at least you get a free copy of the magazine!

       (Exits to succeed with failure)


Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.

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